


Where do We Go from Here?

by Riley2002



Series: The Middle of the Beginning and Beyond [13]
Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 08:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7883740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riley2002/pseuds/Riley2002
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HG comes home. How the team recovers from their latest trauma. Will they recover?</p>
<p>Original publish date: 2013-07-04</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Seems to be some human error issues. Please bare with me while they get fixed.

* * *

She'd been warned.  HG's condition was clearly explained, but she was the only one that hadn't seen her. They had warned her. She was still unprepared for the sight that came through the door, closely followed by Myka and then Dr. Calder.

"Steve?" Claudia squeaked, grabbing his arm for support, tears immediately ringing the rims of her eyes. She'd seen everyone in the team, including HG, come back from missions injured, bruised, and hurting, even incurred some of her own. No one could have been prepared for what was before her now.

He wrapped an arm around her as they watched the procession into the office where the temporary room was set up. "It's okay, Claudia. She's alive and doing well. She just looks really bad. Come on. Let's give them space to get her settled. I'm sure they're all hungry and tired. We can make coffee and wrangle up some food."

"But Steve, she looks half-dead."

Steve swung around to face her, firmly grasping both arms. He stared intently into her eyes and spoke softly and sternly to bring her attention straight to him.

"Claudia, listen to me," he said slowly. "She is going to be fine. I'm sure the trip wasn't easy. She would probably still be in the hospital if Dr. Calder wasn't so concerned about her immune system. We still don't know what it can handle. Now, you and I are going to make coffee and put out some food. They've had a long trip home. Okay?"

She looked once more towards the office listening to the commotion involved in settling HG, who was obviously in pain. Dr. Calder's false cheery, but irritated voice could be overheard. "Well, let's shoot her up then. She's over due. Don't look at me like that. You know what I mean. Now smile and do it. She's in pain. Don't keep a lady waiting."

"Yeah. Right. Okay. Coffee. I can do that."

Steve led her away towards the kitchen. Busy minds will sooth the thoughts.

"Myka looks like crap."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed taking his own quick look, taking in the tired, strained face.

In the office the chaos quickly dissipated as the ambulance crew finished their task and were escorted out. Myka dropped on the sofa bed pulled out next to the bed Helena occupied. Artie stood at the door speechless, while Dr. Calder made a final evaluation of her patient.

"Helena, you're home. How's the pain now that you're settled? And no lying or I'm dragging my buddy Steve in here."

"I've been in worse shape." She smiled drowsily. "It's easing. It's good to be home, but I'm tired." Myka had started stroking her forehead and running her fingers through her hair; the magic key to quickly putting her into a sound sleep.

"You've had a rough ride home, but I think you'll find it was worth it. Sorry it took an extra day. Mother Nature just didn't feel like cooperating. Now get some sleep."

Looking down, she realized her patient probably didn't hear a thing she'd said. She was already asleep, Myka still caressing the purple and green bruised face.

"Myka, as your physician you have two choices; come get something to eat and then get some sleep, or just crawl in and sleep now. You look like shit."

"Gee, thanks, Doc. I can always depend on you for your honesty." She sighed heavily, shoulders slumping.

All signs of formality gone now, Vanessa wrapped an arm around Myka's shoulder, hugging her close to her side. "That's what I'm here for," she said softly, "Among other things."

Artie cleared his throat and spoke from the door, having never left his protective station. "Steve and Claudia have gotten something together in the kitchen. I know Claudia is anxious to see you and keeping her out of here is going to take all of us and an army. Why don't you get something to eat and we can fill everyone in." He looked at her over his glasses expectantly.

"Artie's right," Vanessa said with a last squeeze of the shoulder. "With that last dose she'll be out for a while. We'll keep the door open a little, but she's not moving. She needs the rest."

Myka stood reluctantly, pushing down the festering abscess of emotions threatening to burst. With one last look at the motionless form on the bed, she touched the motionless hand and followed the other two to the kitchen.

* * *

"Myka!" She had just a split second to catch Claudia in her arms when she was seized with the force of the unexpected and unyielding hug.

"Claud. Hey, it's okay. Everything's okay. I heard we've got some food. Let's eat. I'm hungry," Myka lied, quietly disengaged herself from the young woman, distancing herself from the overzealous greeting.

Artie stepped ahead of Steve, putting his hand on Claudia's arm, gently directing her to the table. "This looks good, Claudia. They've had a long trip so let's get everyone fed. Vanessa's going to catch us all up."

"Not much to catch you up on, really," the doctor started as she filled her plate with fragrant fruit, fresh vegetables, cheese and warm bread. "Thanks to the weather we were delayed by a day, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. She really wasn't ready to leave. It was a rough flight. We decided to administer nerve blocks before we left and they wore off sooner than I'd have liked, but they provided some relief. HG is going to be fine. I think she'll recover much better here than at the hospital and my staff won't quit on me. She's in a lot of pain and she's on some heavy duty pain meds right now. We tried to back off in the hospital but it was too early. I expect she'll be down to NSAID's soon. We'll retake some x-rays at the end of the week to make sure everything is stable and healing like it should be." She smiled. "I've been commanded by the Regents to stay a few days to monitor her progress, probably the week. Guilt duty. HG has become their number one concern at the moment for some reason. Can't imagine why," she said sarcastically. "Most important thing now is that she does her breathing exercises, we manage her pain as best we can, get her walking, and give her body time to rest so it can heal. Which means…"

"She's going to be a right pain in our asses," Steve interrupted trying to lessen Claudia's shock at seeing the condition of their patient.

Vanessa laughed heartily. "You've got that right. Good luck. She's going to be pretty tired though. HG said you are the breakfast queen, Claudia. Try to get her to eat small meals." She smiled at Claudia seeing the young woman start to relax.

"Myka?" Claudia shook the woman sitting next to her, staring at nothing in particular.

"Huh?" She turned her head looking through the woman beside her.

"Why don't you go get some sleep before you fall on the table? The sofa bed is all made up. I don't like cleaning around sleeping people," Claudia joked, having recovered from the initial shock. "Artie made soup. I can warm some of that up for you later."

Without a word, a blank faced Myka stood up with a nod and wandered back to the office.

"That's not my Myka," Claudia accused Vanessa, turning sharply in her seat to face the doctor.

"No, it's not. I wouldn't expect the other Myka anytime soon. I don't know when she last had a full night's sleep or a decent meal. We have two patients on our hands, I'm afraid. She hasn't broken down yet, and when she does, it's not going to be pretty. I hear from Jane that Pete is quiet, but doing well. We'll have a physical therapist here every day at ten a.m. for both of them. How is everyone else doing?"

Artie looked at her blankly.

"Look, I know you guys face a lot of burdens every day, but what you all went through took a toll on all of you, not just Helena and Myka. This wasn't a 'snag, bag and tag' operation. Keep that in mind. It might not be a bad idea to have a couple of group sessions to talk about it. Don't give me that look, Artie," she threatened his suspicious look. "You don't realize what this can do to a team. To add to that stress, you have two very fragile family members in that room. I'm actually more worried about Myka right now than Helena. She's always been Helena's anchor and I'm not convinced either of them realize how much. Myka's carrying a lot of burden on herself and she doesn't need to. She's just as fragile. Helena may have been the prisoner, but Myka's the one that almost lost her."

"When can I see HG?" Claudia asked.

"Whenever she's ready. Actually," Vanessa dug into her bag, handing a vial over to Claudia, "If you'd give this to Myka and make her take it as instructed, you can assure yourself Helena's alive and well. I want Myka to get some quality sleep and so far nothing else has worked."

Claudia grabbed Myka's glass of water and started for the door.

"Oh, and don't expect her to sleep on that sofa bed. They've worked around that one no matter what I say. Including midnight escapes." Vanessa waved a hand off in the air, shaking her head. "I finally gave up. At this point it might be the best medicine for them both."

Claudia laughed outright. "They are freaky, aren't they?"

Vanessa looked between Artie and Steve, frowning, looking for an explanation.

Artie shrugged pointing his finger at Steve. "I don't get it. Ask him."

Steve smiled before starting to explain his theory.

* * *

Claudia peeked through the space of the partially opened door, knocking on the door frame quietly.

"Oh, so you do know how to knock." Myka turned her attention from Helena's sleeping form to smile at the redhead.

"I do have my moments. I don't want any goo dropping on me." She smiled at the memory of HG's trap which she was sure was still very functional. Hesitantly, she walked up to the side of the bed to see a breathing HG. She handed the vial and glass to Myka. "Doc V. says you have to take this and I second it. Staring at a sleeping person is never known to do anything. It's up there with staring at the toaster for your Pop-Tart, particularly frosted strawberry ones."

"How can you eat those things?" Myka scrunched her face at Claudia at the thought of the pastry and stared at the vial she'd been handed. "A sleeping pill? Seriously?"

"Just take it. I'll stay with you if you want, or I can leave. You know if you want the company, or not."

"It's okay, Claudia. I'd like the company."

"I can tuck you in for once." Claudia grinned.

"We haven't tucked you in for a long time, Claudia."

"Well, sometimes I miss it."

"Me too." Myka grabbed a pillow from the sofa. "Can you help me? Just tuck this in against her stomach. It helps brace her from putting too much pressure on her ribs. I least it's all on the left side for the most part. Can you imagine what she'd be like if she had to sleep on the left side of the bed?" Myka chuckled. "I'm not sure she could do it."

"Don't even go there. I remember when I questioned that one. 'MY side is the RIGHT side.' Has it always been like that?"

"Oh yeah, without a doubt. I never asked why. It was an unsaid declaration. I never really had a preference and I enjoyed the company too much to care." Myka gently slid in next to Helena's dead weight. "I never got a chance to thank you, Claudia."

Claudia sat on the sofa bed listening to HG's shallow breaths. "For what?"

"For believing me." Myka closed her eyes, wrapping a loose arm around Helena, well below her ribs, grasping her right hand, feeling the effects of the pill and the relaxation that comes with the comfort of home.

"I never had a reason not to, so, please don't thank me. We're all in this together, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Myka mumbled, falling asleep.

Claudia stood up watching the two, assured they were both asleep. She kissed both foreheads, happy to have them home. Steve was standing in the doorway when she started to leave. "Sometimes I don't like being a grown up," she said to him as she burrowed her head in his shoulder quietly crying.

* * *

"Myka. Myka. Can't breathe. Myka!" Helena sharply gasped at the additional pain from elbowing Myka awake. Myka cleared her head, rubbing her face before running her hands through her hair. She jumped out of the bed, causing another wave of sharp pain to course through Helena's ravaged body.

"Vanessa!" Myka shouted to the cracked door.

The doctor came in quickly, evaluating her patient. "Helena, is it pain?"

She nodded curtly.

"Is it the pain inhibiting the breathing or are you just unable to breathe? I need to know the difference."

"Pain," she gasped, having lost what little color that had returned to her face.

Grabbing what she needed she looked to Myka's anxious face. "Myka, help her sit up and calm her down."

Myka did the only thing she knew that would do both. She scrambled onto the bed behind Helena and leaned her up against her body, calmly speaking into her ear as she brushed her hair back from her damp face, dragging her fingers through the dark hair. The doctor shook her head at the method, but acknowledged its success as she administered the injection waiting for it to take effect.

"I can't say that I've ever seen that technique, Myka, but it's working. Helena, I need you to slow down your breaths and breathe deeper. Concentrate. I know it hurts. You should feel relief soon."

Myka continued to coach the woman in her arms. Slowly, Helena concentrated on Myka's words as the pain started to abate and relaxed into the comfort of the warmth around her.

Vanessa reevaluated her patient, nodding her head in satisfaction. "I really hope I didn't pull her out too soon," she said mostly to herself. She looked at the two on the bed, Myka still stroking Helena's head, talking quietly in her ear of nothing she could discern. "How do you plan to get out of that position?"

"I don't for now. I'm used to it." Vanessa looked at her confused. "Nightmares," Myka said simply, shrugging. "It works. It's actually pretty comfortable. Well, for awhile at least." Helena was as relaxed as she could be, head lying back in Myka's shoulder, breathing more easily now and fading back to sleep, oblivious to the conversation around her.

"You're going to need help getting out."

"I know. But for now, it's what she needs."

"And what do you need, Myka? When are you going to think about you?" she asked, brushing away the hair that had fallen in Myka's face.

Myka bit her lip and looked out the window, not allowing herself to remember the events of the past week. "Right now, I need this too."

Vanessa sat down next to the bed, suddenly clasping Myka's hand. "Myka, at some point you're going to have to let go. Have you even really cried yet?"

Myka nodded her head. "Once."

"I mean really cried. Full out kicking and screaming release. I've watched you move blindly from one task to another without question or emotion. That concerns me."

"I'm fine, really. I'm just happy she's home," Myka said drowsily.

Vanessa sat silently for a moment watching as Myka's exhaustion took over, Helena sleeping against her full body. Shaking her head, the doctor whispered to no one in particular, "No you're not."

* * *

Restless, Claudia finally gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed. Quietly descending the stairs, she headed into the kitchen to warm some milk. Seeing the soft light from the door she peeked in to find Myka sitting up reading.

"Hi," Claudia whispered, not wanting to wake Helena. "I can't sleep either." She sat on the sofa bed Myka blatantly ignored. "I thought you were supposed to be sleeping here?"

"You didn't really think that was going to happen, did you?" Myka looked over the book at her new guest.

Claudia quietly chuckled. "Not really. Doc V. said the same thing. She said she finally gave up. Something about escaping in the middle of the night?"

Myka smiled. "Something like that."

They sat in silence under the soft glow of the light on the table, listening to the shallow breaths of the sleeping patient.

"I was going to make up some of her special warm milk. I kind of borrowed her bottle of cognac."

"Breaking into my cottage again?" Myka smiled once more, putting the book down on the table.

"Well, she did teach me, and you did take the key away. I thought it was for a good cause. We've been drinking a lot of warm milk here."

"I'd love some." Myka picked up her book again when Claudia unnecessarily tip-toed out through the door. Helena had been given a good dose of pain medication earlier and wouldn't hear a thing, especially with Myka next to her.

The next face peered into the room.

Myka didn't look up from the book this time, hearing the slight rustling belonging to the face. "Hi, Steve. Come on in. Claudia is making the milk."

He padded in on his bare feet taking over the spot Claudia had occupied. "I never got to see her after she got out of surgery. Artie sent us home after Kosan interviewed us."

Claudia walked in with a pitcher of the special recipe and three mugs, setting it on the table. Steve gave her a questioning look at the three mugs. "What?" Claudia looked back, before pouring the mixture, handing him a cup. "I heard you come down the stairs. It's the fourth step down that squeaks, not the third. I don't know why you can't remember that. You need HG to teach you the silent path."

Myka tried not to laugh. "She's had plenty of experience mapping out that path."

"Man, can you guys fight. Sometimes I never knew who actually won." Claudia shook her head.

"That's because you always ran to the warehouse. Neither and both." Myka smiled drinking her milk. "We still do. Making up is too much fun." Her smile broadened glancing at the two, amazed at her lack of embarrassment. "Sometimes I think she picks a fight just for the excuse."

"Yeah, she does," Steve said quickly, without thinking. "Uh, I mean, well…never mind." The two women stared at him, Myka raising her eyebrows. "Fine. It came up in conversation one day. Please don't ask me how, when or where. I really don't want to say," Steve pleaded.

Myka quietly chuckled, shifting the body in the bed next to her. Everyone froze fearing she would wake. She merely sighed, readjusting herself slightly, pulling herself closer to Myka.

Claudia started to tear up. "Are we all going to get past this?"

Myka swallowed deeply, unable to speak, not wanting to face the horrors they'd experienced.

No one spoke.

Claudia yawned. Glancing at HG and then Myka, she asked in a weak voice, "Can I sleep down here?"

Myka nodded, sliding down the bed.

"Me, too?" Steve asked.

Claudia grabbed the sleeve of his tee shirt pulling him down on the sofa bed. "We need to have story time when Pete gets back."

Myka turned the light off. "Find one for us, Claudia. Hopefully, he'll be home soon and everything will go back to normal, whatever that is."

 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Claudia was the first to wake when the sun came through the window. She sat up looking at her sleeping companions surrounding her. She shook Steve awake, groaning his protest trying to bury his head under the pillow. She shook him again. Reluctantly, he sat up next to her, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"What?" he grunted.

She pointed her index finger at him jabbing it into his face. "See, I told you they freak in their sleep," she whispered.

"Huh?" Steve had to lean back to avoid being struck by the offending digit.

"Didn't you see? Look at their hands. They just reached for each other."

He looked at the two soundly sleeping women, hands interlocked in front of them.

"I was sleeping, not staring at my friends sleeping." He rubbed his morning, bristled face, trying to comprehend the importance of this information after the restless sleep they had. He'd opened his eyes numerous times during the night, feeling like an intruder, to catch both Claudia and Myka gazing at HG calmly sleeping. At one point he caught the sight of HG awake, staring blankly through the room, not focusing on anything particular. She didn't seem to be in any physical distress and he wasn't even sure she was awake, so he let her be leaving her to the silence and whatever place she was in.

"They do it all the time." Claudia had jumped out of the bed.

"Huh?" Steve returned his inner attention back to his animated friend. "Claudia, how do you even know this?" Steve looked at her confused, trying to grasp how she'd be so familiar with such an intimate detail.

"They always took care of me when I had nightmares. They'd sandwich me and I'd always wake up with their hands locked together over me. Don't tell anyone! I don't think they know it themselves. Then they stuck me on the edge one night. They totally readjust themselves together, mimicking each others movements. It's like they can't not be touching. It's freaky."

"Claudia, I think that's something we should just keep to ourselves. Come on, let them sleep and we can go make breakfast. When they're ready for food, Myka will come get it."

"You got the spinach and mushrooms for the omelets, right? Because…"

"And the baby Swiss, not regular Swiss cheese. Yeah, I know. It's HG's favorite. You've told me five times since we heard she was coming home." He pushed her out the door towards the kitchen.

* * *

Why was it always the smell of coffee? She never thought she was that addicted to the stuff, but it never failed to wake her up. Now, Claudia was addicted! Myka resisted opening her eyes, enjoying the fresh smell of good coffee and the feeling of warmth from the slender hand encased in her own. Her stomach growled in response to another smell that wafted through the door reluctantly, left cracked open. She sighed. That door needed to get shut and soon. She understood the necessity in their present situation, but she'd be more at ease when they were back in the privacy of their own space.

She rolled on her back closing her eyes once again, ignoring the rumbling of her stomach. Helena's body, leaning against her own, slightly rolled onto her own back, her hand never leaving Myka's grasp, her arm coming to rest across her hips.

Myka smiled remembering how much they had resisted leaving the safety of the confines of the main house to the cottage in back that they had come to call their own. Now it was the only place she yearned for; alone with the lost part of herself, now found. Granted, they still spent the majority of their time in the house with their family, but they had begun to spend fewer family evenings here and more time in the small cottage enjoying the privacy afforded them by the space. Pete had said it was what they needed. Damn, she hated when he was right. Even Claudia seemed to require less of their attention now, turning instead towards the others for companionship. They still had an evening set aside for 'girl's night', but that had waned recently as Claudia grew and was becoming more a part of the warehouse. Had they really distanced themselves that much from the others in the past year?

Helena was still asleep when Myka's stomach roused her from her thoughts again. She'd be happy when the drugs didn't interfere so much, but all she sensed was calm from beside her, even if the physical reaction of waking didn't occur.

She got out of bed and stretched, finally feeling her body relaxing from the cramped sleeping places and multiple interruptions of the hospital staff. She shut the door, throwing on the new UCCS sweatshirt that engulfed Helena's too thin frame, and a pair of sweats. Before heading to the kitchen, she refrained from touching her sleeping partner in fear of waking her from the much needed pain-free sleep she was comfortably settled in. Pain would return soon enough.

Upon entering the kitchen she headed straight for the coffee maker before either Claudia or Steve knew she had entered.

"Mmmmmm. Oh, my God, this is so good." Myka took another sip, closing her eyes, basking in the aroma and taste of what had become a delicacy compared to the brown liquid they called coffee in the hospital. Steve almost dropped the pan of cinnamon buns he had pulled out of the oven in surprise. Claudia promptly dropped an egg. Myka laughed at the mess on the floor. "What is it with you and eggs? At least there were no targets this time."

Claudia narrowed her eyes, frowning. "And when did you start entering rooms in HG stealth mode?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. My brain was focused on coffee, and in my house one learns to be very cunning if she wishes to surprise her wife."

Claudia raised her eyebrows, looking up at Myka's unconscious slip, while cleaning up the mess on the floor. Surprised Myka didn't correct herself, Claudia let it go, but not without an odd look from Steve. _If only Freud were in the room_ , Claudia thought.

"Who made the cinnamon buns? That smell is the perfect alarm clock."

Still pondering Myka's oblivion, Claudia finished the clean up and threw over her shoulder, "Uh, that would be our budding pastry chef, Steve. We've had some extra decompression and have been experimenting in the kitchen a lot. It's made for some great group therapy. Artie teaches us something every meal and Steve is widening his skills by trial and error. first pan of brownies? No so good."

"Really?" She was surprised by the usually hermitized and elusive character spending that much time with the others outside of the warehouse. She knew he had been teaching Helena how to cook when she was recovering from her ankle surgery. She'd gotten quite good at it, actually. Myka was impressed at how well she learned how to use herbs and spices in her experiments in their little kitchen now with the few meals they ate on their own. It wasn't unusual for her to rush home from the warehouse to start dinner for them all and seemed the times she was most relaxed around the group.

She sat down at the table as Claudia placed a plate of her favorite omelette before her. "Wow, Claudia, you didn't have to go all out like this. Neither did you, Steve, but, I'm really enjoying it. Save a bun for Helena before Pete finishes them off."

Claudia shook her head then cocked it to the side slightly. "Pete's with Jane. He'll be back in a couple of days."

Steve sat down next to her with his tea and a cup for Myka. He laughed inwardly, but couldn't refrain from smiling. Coffee forgotten, Myka drank at least half of the tea.

"Shit! I forgot." Myka looked up in wonder. Steve placed a warm hand on her shoulder with a reassuring squeeze.

"It's okay. We get mixed up who is where too, and your head has been focused elsewhere. We'll all be back to our normal confusion soon enough. Pete will be back soon. Apparently, Jane is in more mom mode than Pete can handle much more of."

"I would have thought he'd be basking in the attention. He's always such a baby when he's sick. I am so glad we were not here for his flu." Myka smiled conspiratorially.

Claudia snorted coffee out her nose. "Oh, gross!" She grabbed a handful of napkins as she continued, "That's because your alternative turned out to be the rest of your life. Did that even make sense?"

Myka smiled looking down the hall. "Yeah, I guess you're right, but something tells me that being here instead wouldn't have altered the results."

Steve and Claudia looked at each other before bursting out in laughter, quickly muffling themselves for fear of waking Helena.

"There is that. But I might have been saved some embarrassment."

"Tell yourself that, Claudia. You still have an unbelievable sense of poor timing in that department." Myka rested her chin in her hand, smirking directly at the young woman. It never seemed to matter how discreet or indiscreet she and Helena would be, Claudia still always seemed to get caught up in their trysts in one form or another.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you need to pay more attention to your surroundings. Camera 28, just to mention one of many. If it weren't for me, Pete would have a whole new DVD collection."

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Nothing!" the two women quickly said simultaneously.

"You wouldn't be referring to 'Lunch in the Library' would you by any chance?" a familiar voice asked.

Claudia laughed. "Yeah, that was an especially surprising…HG! What are you doing standing up?"

Steve quickly got up offering an arm to HG who immediately brushed it off. "Thank you, Steven, but I can and must manage on my own. I need to be up and walking. Have no fear, I'll be sure to let you know when I need your assistance. However, I would be most grateful, Myka, if you could find those blasted pills to get into my system. Pain is becoming quite tedious at this point in my life, I'm afraid." She did allow Steve to help ease her into the chair.

"She's not lying." Steve responded to Claudia's doubtful look.

Myka never reacted to either Helena's appearance or her request beyond quietly getting up from the table to get the medication in the office. She handed the pills over to her and pulled back her hair for her into the now requisite pony tail.

Myka refilled her coffee cup handing it over to Helena first. "Ready for some real food? Claudia's got some omelettes in the making when you're ready and Steve," she grabbed the plate of pastry, "made these."

"An omelette sounds wonderful. I'm not sure how the word 'food' applies to that horrid filth they serve in the hospital. Still breaking into our house I see, Claudia?" Helena commented, smiling at the Snoopy mug in her hand as she took a small bite of the cinnamon bun. "Good girl."

"Well, it's not that hard when you don't lock the door, but I lock it behind me so I can practice the next time. I thought you'd like a few things to make you feel a little more at home while you're stuck here."

"It's much appreciated. Steve these are absolutely wonderful. Perfect with coffee. Now, about this omelette you mentioned..."

* * *

"Myka, listen to me. Don't give me that look. I have little energy for any of our arguments. I am alive and in no danger of being otherwise. I appreciate your concern and attention. However, it does neither of us any good for you to sit by my bed while I sleep. I believe our good doctor has proven herself more than capable in attending any medical needs I may require. You need to get away from me. Go to the warehouse. Go to the garden or for a walk. Anything besides sitting in here fretting about what could have happened. You look like hell. Get out. Now!"

"But Helena…" Myka pleaded.

"NOW!" Helena pointed to the door from the bed, swallowing the stab of pain from the effort. She had little energy left from the morning breakfast and the doctor's examination. Her pain was barely tolerable at this point and she only wanted to sleep.

Vanessa had refrained from stepping in. She knew this was something they needed to get through, but finally interrupted the discussion for no other reason than for her patient's well-being.

"Myka," she spoke softly, placing a hand on the woman's arm. "Helena's right. I'm going to manage her pain and make sure she is doing what she needs to do. You need to start separating yourself and go on with daily tasks. A walk would be a great start or go see what's going on at the warehouse. You're a phone call away. You don't have to stay away all day, but you need to get out and do something else."

"Fine," Myka snapped, turning on her heel and stomping off feeling ganged up on. She wasn't ready to let Helena out of her sight. She came too close to losing her. She slammed the front door shut and stood on the porch staring out into the sun. She honestly didn't know what to do. She'd spent so much time the past few weeks focused on bringing Helena home, she was at a loss to what came next. She dug in her back pocket for her phone dialing the one number that came to mind.

"Pete?"

* * *

Myka headed for the garden unknowingly wandering to the maple tree. Overwhelmed with all the thoughts and visions racing through her head she walked on to find herself in front of the cottage door. She tried the handle to discover the door unlocked. Either Claudia lied about locking it behind her or she decided to leave it unlocked this morning after retrieving the Snoopy mug for breakfast now that they were home. She found the place spotless, dark and cold. Claudia, and probably Steve too, had made sure the place was ready for their return from the hospital. The fridge was clean from all perishables, and wiped down, cleaner than it had been left. All the disarray she had created during Helena's absence before their departure for Quebec was back in place, seeming sterile now. She appreciated the efforts regardless. It had been a disaster when she last left the confines of the building.

Walking out back, she found the herbs Steve had planted for Helena's new found joy in cooking well cared for. The furniture on the small patio was set in place like that of a dollhouse waiting to be played with. Wandering back into the kitchen, she noticed all was cleaner than before. She smiled at their thoughtfulness, but regretted the lack of lived in comfort. Or was it just different now? She and Helena were by no means clean freaks, despite the teasing she received from Pete, but things were usually well organized and had a place, Helena's desk the only exception. But even that would resemble some order on occasion.

She wandered upstairs to find a similar image of cleanliness. The pile of clothes and towels picked up and put back in place. The laundry hamper void of dirty clothes. Curiosity took her to the dressers. She didn't want to know how Claudia knew where everything belonged. Only their books beside the bed remained as before and Helena's desk in the same chaos it was when she left so many weeks ago. She stroked the hidden panel where she found Helena's ring. The ring. She grasped her neck to find it still hung on the chain beside the locket. She hadn't returned it to Helena yet. She wasn't allowed it in the hospital. God knows how they even managed to get it off. Too much was going on for her to even let Helena know she had them with her. Tonight, she thought. Tonight she would have them back. She couldn't wear the ring on her finger yet, but she could wear it on the chain.

Overcome with fatigue, she shuffled into the bedroom dropping on the bed. It was so cold and bare. Why the difference now? She'd spent six weeks alone in it before searching for Helena. No, she didn't spend every night here. When not off on a retrieval she would on occasion spend the odd night at the main house, more often for Claudia, preferring now to stay in the cottage alone, desperately hoping that would be the night Helena would try to sneak back into their bed. Why the recent change, she wondered as she fell asleep on top of the bed, still grasping the locket and ring in her hand.

* * *

She sat up in bed screaming, sweat pouring off her face, the covers pulled around her body, suffocating her. Helena. She couldn't find her. She'd been standing in the middle of the cabin scratching at the walls, the floor, anywhere she could grasp. Her fingers were raw, nails broken, blood circling the edges of the nail beds never to come off again. She heard a weak voice. A gun shot. Pete fell in front of her.

Panting, Myka scrambled out of the covers panicking, not getting out of the mass fast enough. Drawing her knees up to her chest she dropped her head on her knees desperately catching her breath. She hesitantly looked at her hands. They were fine, but she could still feel the burning pain in her fingers.

She ran down the stairs, slammed the front door behind her sprinting to the main house. Upon entering the kitchen Claudia and Vanessa turned to stare at her.

"Myka?" Vanessa inquired, noting the disheveled appearance and wide-eyed panic in her eyes. "Claudia, get a glass of water and a cool cloth. I think you've been through this before."

"Uh, yeah. Too many times." She retrieved the items, taking the opposite arm as Vanessa, directing Myka to a chair.

"Helena… where is she?" Myka gasped through her panic.

Claudia placed the cool cloth on Myka's forehead while Vanessa put the glass in the shaking hand, wrapping the weak fingers around it. "Myka, look at me. Can you do that?" Myka remained in her trance like state. "Drink some water."

Myka did as she was told as Claudia started to wipe the hot face with the cloth, only to get up and return with it freshly cooled.

"Myka, I need you to look at me," Vanessa repeated. Myka complied this time, reality coming into focus, sipping some more water. "Helena's fine. She's asleep in the other room. Drink some more water and catch your breath and I'll take you to her."

When Vanessa was comfortable with her progress she led the still shaking woman into the room where Helena slept. Myka stopped short when the sight on the bed came into focus. Taking a deep breath, she pulled off her sweat soaked shirt, tossing it aside, and crawled into the bed next to her sleeping partner. Burying her face in the neck of the woman, she promptly fell back to sleep exhausted by the nightmare that was sure to be the first of many.

Claudia sat at the table in the kitchen waiting for the doctor to return. Without a word, Vanessa poured a cup of the fresh coffee they had just started and sat across from the redhead.

"What was that about?" Claudia asked, somewhat comatose herself.

"That, Claudia, is the beginning of hell."


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Helena had been staring at the ceiling for over an hour now as Myka slept beside her, head buried in a pillow. She listened to the activity seeping under the now closed door. At least they were afforded that privacy now. From the aromas carried with the sounds from the kitchen, Steve must have made burritos. They were spoiling her. Part of her enjoyed it, but mostly she wanted normalcy. That was far into the future, if ever. Normal was no longer the generalized abnormal anymore. It now contained fear and panic. Darkness without the relief of light. Emptiness. Everything she had come so far away from crept back and was startling to settle in the recesses of her mind to keep company with her already invaded crevasses.

"I can feel you staring," Helena said, turning her head to stare straight into the sleepy green ones watching her.

"I know. Just wondering how long it was going to take for you to admit it," Myka mumbled, smiling.

"Why do you keep changing it? I thought we had a routine," Helena inquired, staring back up at the ceiling.

"I thought we decided routine is boring," Myka sighed at the lack of response and rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling as well. "Are you sure you don't want to try to sleep on this side? It's easier to snuggle with you. All I can do is spoon you from this side and then I don't know what to do with my arm."

"This has always been my side," Helena replied, incredulous at the ridiculous thought.

"So what? You are that stubborn that you'd rather limit what little physical contact we can have just for old time's sake? It worked okay in the hospital. I was even able to hold you then." Myka sat up looking down at Helena, getting frustrated with the conversation. "What the hell is so interesting about the stupid ceiling?"

"Absolutely nothing," was the empty reply.

"Fine." Myka got out of bed placing both hands on her hips looking down at the mute person staring at the ceiling. "Are you hungry for dinner? It smells like Steve is cooking. He probably made burritos just for you." Myka picked up her still damp shirt and threw it off to the side with a huff when she received no answer. She dug through the pile of clean clothes Claudia had brought over, pulling out a dry tee shirt.

She headed for the door opening it. "I'm going to eat. Come join us when you feel like it."

* * *

The others were just finishing setting the table when they heard the door firmly shut, just short of being slammed. They all stopped at once to look at the kitchen door. Ignoring the curious faces, Myka went to the refrigerator to pour a margarita from the pitcher she knew would be there. She drank three-quarters of the drink before refilling it and placing it on the table. Soundlessly, everyone continued to carry food to the table.

"Sorry I slept through dinner preparations. I'll clean up," Myka said weakly, sitting down.

Steve carried over the plate of fresh, hot burritos. "That's okay. You were pretty much dead to the world and we wanted you to sleep. Is Helena going to eat?"

"I don't know. If she wants it she can come get it."

"Okay…" Claudia started then shut her mouth at Artie's look.

Steve dished up the burritos in the awkward silence pervading the kitchen. A fog of unrest settled as the clang of silverware on plates and murmurs of 'please' and' thank you' occasionally occurred. Myka continued to stare at her plate as the first wave of nausea hit her without warning. With two forceful heaves of her stomach her dinner was promptly evacuated to the floor.

"Oh, my god. I'm so sorry," Myka burst out just before depositing a final mess.

Vanessa was already at her side before anyone else was able to react. "Myka, let's get you in the other room. Claudia?"

"Been there, did that, already ahead of you." Claudia followed with the cool washcloth and a glass of water.

Artie sat frozen staring at the mess by his feet. Steve was on his hands and knees cleaning up the mess. Once cleaned and in the trash bag he had brought with him, he tied up the bag. Leaning back on his calves, he looked up at the man frozen in place still staring at the floor. Looking at his reflection in the older man's glasses and without warning he burst into tears. Artie jumped out of his trance, placing a hand on the man's shoulder saying pointlessly, "I don't think it was your dinner, Steve."

Steve harshly laughed through his tears as they continued streaming down his cheeks. "I know. That's the problem."

Artie picked up the bag squeezing the man's shoulder, allowing him time to regain some semblance of order. The usually calm man leaned his head on the floor in front of him, letting his pain seep into the cracks of the pine floor.

Vanessa found Artie sitting on the bench in the back of Leena's staring at the row of four cottages built not so long ago, and sat beside him. "Myka?" he asked never taking his eyes off the front door of the first cottage.

"She'll be okay; Claudia's with her. I found Steve. He's on his way to the garden. I expect we won't see him for a while. I'll clean up the kitchen." She took his hand and followed Artie's eyes to the cottage. The flowers in bloom on the front porch the only evidence of ownership.

"It was supposed to be a new beginning for them." He gestured to the porch. "Even then, I still had my doubts." He took off his glasses setting them down beside him, leaning back on the bench with a heavy sigh. "I never had faith in Helena's claims towards Myka. I was still looking for another lie, for any manipulation of Myka's affections. But Myka was so happy and everyone else accepted it so readily. I sometimes wonder, if Helena hadn't come back, would Myka have been better off. Would all of us have been better off."

"I think you know the answer to that, Artie. Do you still question her motives?"

"No," he said chuckling. "Like Pete says, 'They belong together like milk and cookies'."

Vanessa barked a laugh. "Milk and cookies?"

He continued chuckling at the memory rubbing her hand unconsciously. "Yeah, Myka wasn't too impressed by the analogy. Eh, he likes cookies." He shrugged. They sat in silence as the sun descended leaving a yellow-orange glow on the porch before them.

"How are you doing, Artie?" she asked as they watched the few bats dive for the emerging flying insects.

"Who, me?" he asked surprised by the question, dropping her hand. "I'm watching my family fall apart. Claudia wanders around the warehouse forgetting what she is supposed to be looking for and half the time I find her staring through the computer screen. Steve just fell apart in the kitchen, and suddenly I'm giving cooking lessons almost every night and find myself watching and making fun of really bad science fiction movies with them before heading back to the warehouse to toss and turn for the rest of the night."

"Interesting." She cocked her head to the side. It was too dark to see the bats now, only hearing the occasional flutter near by. A new moon brought on the pervading darkness around them.

"Hmm? What was that?" He put his glasses on, returning his gaze to the building in front of him.

"That's the first time I've ever heard you refer to them as your family." She turned to face him. He was still staring at the now obscured porch. "You've never allowed yourself that before, have you? A warehouse family. They are a rare combination. I think the warehouse has created something very special here. Look, Artie, I'm going to be very honest. This is just the beginning. It's going to get much worse. Helena and Myka both had nightmares today and Helena is depressed. Myka's completely lost, probably depressed too, and the others don't know what is happening to them or why. Everyone assumed life would go back to normal and they'd just have to deal with a pain in the ass HG. I really think professional help needs to be brought in." Artie snapped his head at her in shock. "Don't look at me like that. When have you ever watched bad science fiction movies? I've already contacted Mrs. Frederic. I tried to warn you, but it always ends up being a surprise." She grasped his hand giving it a squeeze. "I'm going to start cleaning up the kitchen. Sit here for as long as you want. I also need to check in on Myka and make sure Helena actually gets out of bed to walk around and eat something."

* * *

Steve woke up suddenly and sat up looking around the dark room allowing his eyes to adjust to the low light offered by the small lamp on the far wall. Helena was wide awake staring through him.

"You okay?" he whispered. He pushed Claudia's feet out of his way and sat on the edge of the sofa bed. Neither he nor Claudia was ready to abandon the security of having Helena back. Even Artie chose to stay in the house tonight. "Do you need anything?"

"No. I just can't sleep. Are there any burritos left or did Myka recycle them all?"

"Yeah, there are plenty. I always make extra for the freezer for you." He stood up and helped her out of the bed. "Uh, HG, I don't mean to offend you or anything, but you really need a bath." He followed her slow path to the kitchen, turning on the overhead light.

"Trust me when I say I am very much aware of that. However, it is not something I can very well do on my own and Myka was not up to the task as previously planned." Steve supported her as she sat in the chair at the table, grimacing in the process. "If you wouldn't mind, Steve, the pain pills are on the table in the office."

"Of course. Let me get a burrito warming first." He placed the object in the microwave and quietly entered the office for the medication.

Claudia was still snoring, content in her oblivion. "Is she okay?" Myka asked from the bed sitting up.

"Not sure. Wide awake and hungry apparently. How long have you been awake?"

She raised her eyebrows, looking at him like he was an imbecile. "She woke shortly after I did about an hour ago."

"Of course. Stupid me. You guys are freaky." He smiled.

"Could everybody stop saying that?" Myka was getting annoyed at the reference. They were just them. It didn't matter what or how. They'd accepted it for what it was a long time ago. Why couldn't everyone else?

Steve nodded his understanding. "I get it. I'll spread the word." He looked over at Claudia who had rolled over wrapping the blanket around her. "Looks like I'm going to fight for a spot now."

Myka looked over at the sofa bed smiling too. "Probably. Do you need me?"

"I don't think so. You'll know before me anyway." With a smile and a nod he shot out the door closing it quietly behind him.

He placed the vial in front of Helena and dashed to the beeping microwave. "Hot sauce?"

"I can't believe you need to ask. I thought you were smarter than that. And to point out a minor problem, if you would please, I'm not actually able to open the vial."

"Sorry. Still a little asleep," he lied, placing the food in front of her, cutting it up into bite sized pieces.

"Myka is assured all is fine now? Mmmm. You have outdone yourself, Steve. These are by far one of your best creations." She greedily ate another bite.

"I think she's satisfied for the moment." He didn't wonder how she knew Myka asked. Steve watched the woman across from him devour the food in front of her. "Want another?"

"Yes, but no. As tasty as it is, my stomach is not quite up for more. I thought I'd sit on the porch and get some fresh air. If you are not tired, I'd enjoy the company." Without a word she managed to pick up her plate and put it in the sink before heading for the door. "I'm not quite an invalid."

"But it hurt, didn't it?" He frowned at her. Keeping her from pushing herself was always difficult.

She eyed him and gave a slight nod before heading to the door. She desperately wanted to sit on the swing, but knew that was an unwise choice opting for the bench instead. The night was unusually silent making the darkness that much heavier. She froze on the bench, breathing more rapidly, a cold panic settling over her. Steve was just sitting down when he noticed the change. Quickly, he got up and turned on the porch light illuminating the area around them.

He sat down taking her free hand. "Helena, you're on the porch at home. Helena?" Carefully, he lightly touched her leg. She jerked towards him causing her body to scream its protest at the cruel movement. Gasping with pain, all color fell from her face blankly looking at him. "Helena, you're home. Come on. Listen to me. It's Steve. Don't make Myka come out here or I'll never hear the end of it. You are not in the dark, you are on the porch. We are all here, together." He didn't mention Pete was away. He didn't feel it was relative.

"I think maybe the porch is not a good idea," she simply said, painfully clasping his arm. Standing, she hid her head in his shoulder. "I don't want to be afraid of the dark again."

"I know. Let's go sit in the living room."

Myka stood at the office door as they walked by. He shook his head, leading the woman supported by his arm into the living room where they sat in silence until dawn.

* * *

"So, do you think we can do this without getting into trouble?" Myka asked, squeezing the washcloth out.

"It depends on what kind of trouble you mean. Don't kiss me and we'll see what happens. I'll be much happier when I can actually stand under a shower and happier yet when I can submerge myself for a good long soak."

Myka helped Helena remove the button down shirt to reveal the already reactive nipples, her stomach dropping in response. Swallowing hard, she looked away, trying to ignore Helena's sudden smirk, and took a deep breath, expelling it slowly. "No guarantees. You may end up with Vanessa for this and I really don't want to explain to her why." Myka started to wash each arm gently, careful to watch for any changes in body language that would indicate pain, or worse yet, more of the opposite. They'd managed to wash her hair earlier after Claudia and Steve left, Steve looking tired. She gently worked her way down Helena's torso hesitating as she reached the scar on her left hip bone.

"I am really trying to think of dead puppies right now. Honestly," Helena managed to whisper with shallow breaths, mirroring Myka's rapidly increasing respiration. Myka continued down Helena's left leg with shaking hands until she just reached the back of the knee. Helena quickly gasped and remained silent, extreme pain etched on her colorless face, hand clenched on the edge of the bed. Myka dropped the cloth in shock feeling the warmth built up between her own legs, staring at Helena's agonized body.

"Helena?"

The tortured body on the bed remained still, desperately trying to take a breath. With great effort, she managed a small, shallow breath, forcing all her energy into relaxing through the pain. With her head back on the pillow, face now red and dripping of pain induced sweat she muttered to the horrified Myka, "I never thought an orgasm could hurt so bloody much."

Still horrified by the event and her own body's arousal, she lifted her head at the commotion coming from the front door.

"Honey, I'm home!" Pete announced his early arrival.

Thankful for the diversion, she kissed the moist forehead below her and stood up to go greet Pete. "I think that's my cue. I really think that Vanessa should help you with the rest of this. I'm sorry."

Helena had resumed an easier respiration rate. "I believe the appropriate phrase would be deja vu." She thought back to the first sponge bath she ever received from a reluctant Myka. "I agree. And a good dose of pain meds would not be a bad idea either."

"This really sucks," Myka mumbled on her way out the door, red faced to meet the smiling face of an amused Vanessa who had waited outside the door. Myka dropped the washcloth in the outstretched hand and stuck her tongue out at the doctor as she walked by. "I hate you."

Vanessa roared with laughter.

* * *

Pete had told the group about the upheaval taking place within the Regents as far as his mother was able to share. The group was laughing at his story about a particularly over-motherly event that prompted him to come home. In reality, it was Myka's call that had him packing his bag and taking the first flight available. He stopped in mid-sentence as Helena gingerly walked in to sit in the vacant chair next to Myka.

"HG. You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I'm guessing you're not ready for that hug yet, either." Pete beamed across the table, chocolate chip muffin in hand.

"For once, Pete, you would be correct." She smiled at his goofy expression. The extra dose of pain meds hadn't kicked in yet, and she knew when they did she'd be tired.

As Pete continued his story, Myka tuned him out leaning over to Helena. "Feeling better after your bath?"

"Mostly," she responded under her breath. "You?"

"Not so much. Rather uncomfortable and in need of fresh underwear."

"I am ever so sorry to hear that. A rather detestable situation to be left in. I had the benefit of a very cold bath. And I do mean that quite literally, and not without some very pointed comments from the good doctor." Helena frowned at the woman sitting across from them enjoying her breakfast. "Since she will be leaving tomorrow, I've been told that a nurse will be visiting to carry out such tasks until I am able to shower on my own."

"Hey, you two, I thought we all agreed no more whispering at the table." Pete pointed at them as everyone turned to look at the offenders, Myka's face turning red.

"I'm really happy to have you back, Pete. Thanks," she said, nodding her head slightly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need a shower." She abruptly stood up walking out of the room, heading upstairs to her old room. With great difficulty Vanessa swallowed down a smile not gone unnoticed by Helena.

 


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

He quietly sat down beside her under the maple tree, a slight 'oomph' with his arm still in the sling. Her head leaned back over the back of the bench staring up into the leaves catching glimpses of blue through the breaks of the branches.

"How's the shoulder?" she asked still looking for points of blue.

"Oh, well, you know how it is. I start real PT soon. I guess they are making Helena and me the PT team. That should make things more exciting. I may even learn more swear words with her in the room."

"Great. Can't you two go back to hating each other again? I swear you're bad influences on each other." Myka groaned, closing her eyes.

"Oh, come on. You love it. Gives you more to rag on us about." Pete leaned back to look up at the sky too. He thought it was pretty, but he never really understood what she saw. Helena did, though, he was sure of that. He smiled at the thought.

"Thanks for coming back, Pete. I'm sorry about the other day. She actually kicked me out of the room. They both did. They ganged up on me," she complained, kicking the dirt under her foot.

"Mom was getting on my nerves. I love her, but…" Bored with the sky, he scratched his chin, slouching into the back of the bench. "So, what else is going on? How's she doing? She seems to be getting around okay."

"She's moving around like she's supposed to, doing all the breathing exercises. She's still on narcotics, trying to get onto NSAIDS, but you can tell she's still in pain. Vanessa doesn't seem too worried about it yet. She has repeat x-rays in a couple of days to make sure everything is still in place and healing properly. I think they are more concerned about the hand. There was more damage than they expected. She's not talking about it. Even though it's not her dominant hand, and I use that term loosely, it's still going to affect how much function she gets back. Sure she'll learn to compensate, no doubt about that, but it'll still be a big blow. She depends on both hands a lot with almost everything she does."

Pete snorted.

"Seriously, Pete? Get your mind out of the gutter. I still can't punch you. Besides, that she is more than able to compensate for." She smirked looking back at the sky.

"What about you?" he asked, scratching his nose.

"I'm fine, I guess."

"You guess? It didn't sound that way when you called me." He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into the crook of his arm. It always surprised him how well she fit.

"I don't know what to do, Pete. Now what? She's home, what more can I ask for?"

"Well, first of all you're not really 'home'. That's the cottage. The present arrangement by necessity has to be a little awkward. Second, she has a lot of physical recovery and that's going to be hard work for her and probably frustrating. You have to sit back and watch and be supportive without smothering. I know you. That's hard to watch. Third, you have a lot to process. Your girlfriend was abducted, beaten and probably tortured, and you focused on getting her back so much that your brain's overwhelmed with what to do with all of that. Not to mention managing what she went through. No one is supposed to go through shit like this."

"Look, Myka, I'm having nightmares. If I am than so are you, and HG already has a history. I don't think any of us knows how to process all this, and the two of you…you were the victims. We were just semi-involved spectators in comparison." She stared at him blankly. "Yes, I mean victim. I'm here for you, Mykes, but I don't know how to help you. I don't know how to help myself. All I see is some flash of metal being pointed at you and HG being carried out on that stretcher with you right behind. The expression on your face, Myka…I'll never get that out of my mind. Never." He sat looking out into the garden having let her go, tears falling haphazardly. "I never want to see you in that much pain again."

"So, now what?" she asked with an empty voice.

"I don't know. But I do know we're all in this together and that's how we dig ourselves out."

They sat in silence staring out into the garden watching the insects land on the flowers and the birds jump from branch to branch for another hour before returning to Leena's for the dinner they were not hungry for.

* * *

"I have a question," Claudia said, looking up from the sausage links on her plate. "What are we going to do to keep her busy? I mean, like the scary brain part. Well, the body part is going to be hard enough 'cause she doesn't sit still well. We had a hard enough time keeping her down with the ankle, but from what I see in that room, that's not an easy mover."

"Yeah, at least with the ankle she was pretty mobile fast and she was certainly creative in getting what she wanted, including Myka." Pete laughed out loud at his joke. At the cold stare he received from his partner he stopped suddenly. "Ahem. Uh, what I mean is…"

"We all know what you mean, Pete and it's not funny. Don't think that isn't an issue. So shut up," Myka snarled back at him.

"Already frustrated, huh?" He smiled, receiving a punch in the arm from the other side.

"Dude, shut up, already." Claudia stared at him. "This isn't funny. I'm serious. As far as all that other stuff, it's none of your business unless you're asked."

"Thank you." Myka nodded at her defender. "Claudia's right. Mobility is going to hold her back." Myka nodded towards the arm still in a sling. "Think about your shoulder, Pete, and then add a useless hand and muscles she forgets she has pressing on multiple fractured ribs. It's going to be really stressful for her. She can't even sleep on her left side. You'll get the idea when you start sharing PT with her. She's never experienced anything like this, that I know of. None of us have. So far I think she's been too damned happy to be alive, but the reality of her restrictions is starting to hit her hard. I think it already has."

"It takes a village," Steve reminded them. "We have our standard evenings, but what happens in between? She can only read so much for so long. Learned that the hard way." He rubbed his head from the last recuperation.

Claudia snorted as the others smiled at the incident. "What was it again?"

"Homer's  _The Odyssey_. Hard cover." Steve grimaced still rubbing the former wound. "Three sutures."

"What were you thinking?" Claudia shook her head.

"The title or the hard cover?" He chuckled. He pointed a finger directly at her. "From now on only paperbacks and be ready to duck."

"She doesn't like paperbacks," Myka muttered to herself.

"Good thing they didn't have to shave much." Claudia snickered. "Be thankful you've never had a rock thrown at you! You learn to slam doors and duck really quick."

"Can we get back to the issue at hand?" Artie sat back, quietly thinking, letting the others discuss. He felt somewhat the odd man out when it came to HG, despite the recent harmony they had achieved. "I'm not letting her back in the warehouse until I'm told in person by Vanessa that she is up for it and even then, the timer is set for how long she can stay, not to mention the big list of her physical limitations I'm posting on the door. I'm not getting yelled at again."

"She so scammed you over that ankle sprain. Of all the people for you not to question, Artie." Claudia sunk in her chair as he looked over his glasses at her. "Okay, right, back to the point. Myka?"

"She's always got something to doodle with in her book. She finally asked for that yesterday, but she seems to just stare at it more than anything else. She just sits there, blank. Anything you got in the works, Claudia?"

"Usually, but nothing in the drawing stage and nothing I can safely bring here. I'm still the only one that can work remotely. Hey, what about chess? She used to play with me all the time. I even won a few times, but I think she was letting me. She played all the time with that guy in 12 didn't she?"

"Caturanga. Yes, she did, but she won't play anymore." Myka was shaking her head, frowning as she spoke. At the doubtful looks being cast her way, and one very confused Claudia, she was forced to continue, "Ever since the chess lock I've never been able to get her to play. She refuses. I finally gave up. Her chess set is somewhere up on a shelf in the office closet last I knew. I think the last time I pushed too much she actually had a nightmare. It affected her more than any of us knew."

Artie looked astonished. "I always wondered why she stopped moving my pieces behind my back. Claudia's moves I always knew, but HG's moves were entirely different," he said in awe, looking off into the distance. Claudia threatened to hit him before he was able to hold up his hands. "You're really good, Claudia, I rarely best you. But it's two different players, two different minds. However, like you pointed out, she played chess nearly every day with the master. Her moves are beyond brilliant. It's like watching a ballet unfold before your eyes, but on a chess board for a stage."

Claudia was still confused. "Is that why she wouldn't play with me when she came back? She lied to me. She said she had a standing date with you, Myka."

"She does. She saved my life. She doesn't want to face that again." In reality, Helena had nightmares more frequently surrounding that incident than Myka would let on. More often than not, it would be a result of a threat to Myka's safety that triggered that particular nightmare. She could almost predict them, waiting sleepless through the night for Helena to jerk awake from the abyss of her own torment. Reassuring her that she was very much alive, Myka would wrap herself around the shaking body, bringing it back to the world of the living and reluctantly to the uneasy sleep that would pervade the rest of the night into an early dawn.

"Crossword puzzles?" Pete offered, smirking at Myka.

"If you can't give any helpful suggestions, Pete, just go away." Myka pointed to the stairs. "I really don't need to be reminded on a daily basis how mundane they are."

"Mykes, don't tell me you are still hiding your crossword puzzles. I can think of a lot of things to hide under the mattress from my girlfriend and crossword puzzles are not exactly the first thing that comes to mind."

Everyone turned to stare at her. Slinking down into her chair Myka stared into her coffee. Meekly she admitted, "Fine, so I hide them, and not under the mattress like one of your dirty magazines, Pete! You don't live with HG Wells! Well, you kind of do, but not in the 24/7 for life kind of way. Why do we keep getting off the point?"

"Myka's right," Steve said trying to take the attention away from his embarrassed friend. "We're coming up with nothing and HG is going to go bonkers if we can't come up with some routine distractions. Can't you guys have some sort of big argument? That always seems to work for a while." He smiled trying to break the growing tension.

"Ha, ha," Myka sneered at him. "There's the big issue of the lack of make-up sex."

"Whoa. Know too much about that already, and NOT looking forward to the lack there of either. Try not to be too cranky."

"Really, Claudia, I thought we'd gotten beyond that." Helena carefully walked through the door, trying to disrupt her body as little as possible. "Chair, please."

Pete was the first to jump up giving her his chair as Steve eased her into it. Claudia started to make her tea and warm up breakfast. Myka handed over the pain meds to the distorted expression, hissing under her breath at Claudia, "It's not me you need to worry about. Just duck."

Claudia narrowed her eyes, whispering back, "Yeah, right. Like I don't know. I lived across from you two, remember?"

"Thank you, Myka." Helena greedily swallowed the pills ignoring the quiet exchange. "What time is it? And what exactly are we, regrettably, not having make-up sex over?"

"I think that's my cue to head back to the warehouse." Artie hastily retreated snatching a Danish on the way to the door. "I'll see you all soon. And I mean soon."

Myka poured herself another cup of coffee before sitting down. "How are you feeling?"

Slowly turning her head towards Myka, Helena raised her eyebrows. "When will you all learn to stop asking that question? How do you think I feel? You're evading. What are we not having make-up sex over?"

"Yeah, well I'm right behind Artie." Claudia jumped up.

Steve quickly followed smiling at Myka. "Probably best I share a ride. I'm right behind you, Claud!"

Pete remained in his chair. He put his chin in his hand on the table smirking at Myka. "Yeah, Mykes. What are you not having make-up sex over?"

"Pete, go away!"

He ignored her, continuing to smile. "Want a Danish, HG? We were discussing how well occupied you two become when you are arguing and Myka, here, was complaining about your present celibate status."

"Wow, those were pretty big words, Pete. Now, go away," Myka demanded, pointing at the door.

"Quite honestly, Myka, I really do not see what the big issue is. Some things are well worth a little pain." Helena reached for a Danish, gasping sharply at the pain shooting through her torso.

"That would be the big deal, dearest. Do I need to remind you of the day before the nurse arrived? Let's not forget your left arm is still out of commission. Pete, don't you have somewhere to be?" Myka glared at him again. She was regretting his early return already.

"Don't think so."

"I think you do," Myka wrinkled her nose, "And. It's. Not. Here."

"Gotcha." He grabbed the last Danish and headed up to his room.

"What's going on, Myka? Talking about me when I'm sleeping now?"

"No, not really. Okay, maybe a little, but nothing I wasn't going to bring up. We were trying to come up with things to stimulate your brain. Any ideas?" Myka went to the stove to make up new eggs. She didn't have the heart to tell Claudia that Helena couldn't stomach oatmeal after a particularly bad meal arriving on her tray at the hospital.

"Ah, baby sitting activities."

"Well, I wasn't thinking of it like that. We just know what you went through with the ankle and your limitations are going to make this more difficult. You know that as well as I do. You will go stir-crazy. Everyone wants to help. Keeping them all back will be hard enough. It'll be better when we can get back to our space." Myka took her hand. "Honey, I know this is really hard. It would be for me."

"Hopefully, the check up x-rays will let us move back. IF the pain is tolerable and Vanessa agrees the stairs are okay."

"I guess we'll find out in a few days." Myka placed the fresh eggs and toast on the table. Helena inhaled the fragrance of fresh food. "Still missing hospital food I see?"

"Oh, yes, Myka. I miss every horrid meal." She swallowed the first fork with delight. "There are fresh herbs in here. Did Steve do that?"

"No, I did. They all ate oatmeal." She laughed at the face Helena made at the thought. "I know. That's why I scrambled eggs. I decided to get on the cooking bandwagon, too. Artie's been teaching all of us, actually. I should be able to feed myself if you're not home."

"But, Myka, you can always eat here." Helena was confused. Myka had never shown interest in cooking, always eating in the main house when she was gone.

"Maybe I want a little more independence from the house too. We never know what our future holds. What if we ever do decide to have a kid? It can't live on scrambled eggs and PB & J's."

"I thought we agreed we weren't ready for that. I for one do not wish to let a child suffer at the loss of a parent here. This recent event has done nothing but confirm that thought. Besides, how can you talk about children without sex?"

"Well, first of all, I have no plans of conceiving a child the traditional way or wanting you to either. I don't care how unconventional you were back in the day, I'm not sharing. I don't even like sharing you with Claudia sometimes."

"Really? Claudia? What concern would Claudia cause you? That makes no sense whatsoever." Helena put her fork down and began working on tearing apart the Danish, completely confused by the conversation. "Darling, how did we get from not having sex to not having children to you not sharing me with Claudia and pray tell in what instance?"

"Oh, never mind. There's just a lot going through my head." Myka pushed her chair back to fill her cup with another dose of unneeded coffee.

"Myka, please sit down. I'm tiring quickly and I don't want to argue. As everyone seems so eager to point out," she added with a genuine amused smile, "we are not in a position to 'make-up'." She waited for Myka to sit and promptly took the coffee from her, drinking half the cup. "Now, what is going on in that head of yours? You are usually very adept at telling me exactly what is on your mind. May I just say, storage container?"

"I don't really know. It's all jumbled. So much has changed since you left. You say you want to have a kid in passing, essentially on your way out the door, and now you refuse…"

"Stop there," Helena interrupted. "I did not say I did not want a child. And, yes, perhaps I was quick to say what I did that night. I didn't want to leave you. I didn't want to leave the comfort of our home. I was tired of being pawned off to some unknown place and being forced to..." She looked away with a pained expression on her face. "It doesn't matter now. Things have changed a great deal. It's not that I do not want to raise a child with you. I question if we should. You and I have a much different perspective now than we did those few months ago. Everyone of us has changed." She stopped and breathed through the pain developing over the tension created by their conversation. "Was it really months ago?" She reached out to stroke Myka's face. "I have truly missed you. How can we bring a child into this type of life?"

Tears accompanied the tortured expression she gave Myka. "Please, come closer."

Myka moved her chair over next to Helena's. "Darling, please. I don't remember the last time I properly kissed you." Myka leaned over the chair rails meeting the moist lips waiting for her. Neither had expected the instantaneous charged response they were greeted with. Helena started with a sweet, soft kiss that quickly turned into an all out exploration. All of her nerves turned to fire as Myka returned the kiss as ardently back. Helena pushed back, suddenly feeling a shooting pain throughout her torso as she tensed in response to Myka's kiss. Myka sat back panting as Helena put all of her efforts back into relaxing her muscles into an easy breathing pattern.

"And that would bring us back around to the not having sex part." Helena continued to breathe with conscious effort as the pain eased.

"This really sucks," Myka stated.

"That is an understatement, my dear. I am not a patient person and I have gone far too long without you as it is, and before you say it, that doesn't count. It was very unexpected and far from pleasurable."

"And I haven't gone without for too long? What about being left hanging?" Myka snapped pushing her chair away. "I know...unexpected. God we were stupid. Remember when cuddling was enough?"

"No. All I remember is that it didn't last long." Helena tried not to chuckle. "Do you think we'd be able to continue this conversation on the sofa?" Not waiting for an answer, she carefully stood up and headed to the other room, Myka following.

"Just what do you have in mind?" Myka inquired having arrived at the sofa.

"The usual of course. It really is a more comfortable position and I do not want to get back in that bed. We just need to sit higher if that isn't too uncomfortable for you."

Myka sat on the sofa with her back in the corner, a pillow for extra padding. She helped Helena sit as easily as she could and turned her back into her body before bringing her outside leg up to enfold the thin body in her arms. In response to the painful panting, Myka chuckled. "Well, if you ever do decide you want to have the kid, I think you'll have the whole breathing thing down. Maybe you can teach me."

She relaxed into the body behind her, relieving some of the pressure on her ribs and gaining support to her shoulder. "You never expressed any interest in being the one to carry a child. Do you want to?"

"Helena, we've never really sat down and talked about it before. It's always been passing comments and I don't know. I do know that now is not the time to talk about it." She wrapped her arms around Helena enjoying the comfort of having her in her arms. "I've never seriously thought about it. When the time comes, I will. Can we just enjoy being us right now? You're tired."

"I'm not that tired. At least not mentally. You're right. My mind will need stimulation before the body. Though, it is quite apparent the body is in outrage for lack of stimulation! I want to at least be able to kiss you beyond a peck on the cheek." She stroked Myka's arm lightly. "If you even think of doing anything to the back of my neck I will divorce you this instant."

"You can't divorce me. We aren't married and last I knew we didn't have any plans. I would never dream of doing such a thing to that delightful neck of yours. That would be cruel and it would get me nowhere but more frustrated than I already am."

Helena laid her head back, leaning it to one side. "So, why the Claudia comment? Are you really that possessive? She's far more attached to you than me. She's had your exclusive attention for years now."

"No, I'm not, and she's really just as attached to you as to me. She enjoys the two for one deal I think. Maybe sometimes I get a little jealous of the time you spend together doing your projects and all and I feel excluded. There's no reason for me to be. I love that you guys can share something together that's all yours. Really, I do. It's never bothered me before. I guess it's that everything seems so unstable. We aren't even living in our cottage alone." Myka stopped talking for a moment, thinking through what she just said. "Huh, maybe that's it. I have to share you with everyone. We never get to be alone. I haven't had you to myself since you took off for unknown destinations."

"You've got me to yourself now," Helena said quietly.

"Still, Pete's upstairs. Of course, that's probably not a bad thing considering that kiss. Damn it. I can't even kiss you," Myka pouted, resting her chin against Helena's head.

"Myka, do I really need to remind you of the many compromising positions we assumed in this house when we were not alone? It didn't seem to bother you then. As I recall once you got over the initial embarrassment you laughed just as much." She smiled as many of those situations began to filter through her head. She could feel Myka smile against her too. "What book are we reading now?" she suddenly asked.

"Honestly, I don't remember. Someone distracted me from it when she went to work and needed to be dragged back," Myka said sadly. She gently readjusted Helena's left hand from digging into her body. "Any thoughts?"

"Surprise me tonight. I assume we'll still have company, so you might just as well choose something for story time now that Pete's back." Helena was starting to drift off from the medication. Shifting into a more comfortable position, Myka unexpectedly found she wasn't far from it herself.

 


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

Vanessa turned the screen for the two women to see. "These are the first set of x-rays. We're happy with what we see. Everything is still in place and healing well. The plates and pins are where they are supposed to be and doing their job. We should see quick progress. Your jaw apparently has not been an issue from what I hear." Helena sighed in disgust at the jibe making both Myka and Vanessa smile. "Physical therapy is the key to a full recuperation, Helena, but you already know that. You've done the work before and I have faith you'll be as diligent this time as you were with your ankle. Don't push it. It'll seem very slow and irrelevant at first, but it's for a reason."

"So far we're hopeful with the results on your hand. As you know, there was more damage than initially thought. There hasn't been any shifting of the bones and everything else seems to be holding things together well. The prognosis remains unclear because it's not just a case of broken bones. We're looking at nerve damage. I wish it was an easy fix, but it's not. We don't even know at this point if there is one. So, I'm sending the films and continued updates to a good friend, and genius hand surgeon, in Atlanta. I want all the input I can get. For now, you have another refill for continued pain management and you've been fitted with a substantial brace which I want you to be very serious about. The cast was removed so you can start physical therapy. You are under no circumstances to remove it except when directed by the physical therapist."

"Now that the sutures have been removed you can shower with assistance. I doubt either of you will find that objectionable. The hand brace is removable for showering, but do not use that hand. Is that clear? Or we put a cast back on and that is only going to prolong recovery. Any questions?"

"So, she can really shower? No nurse?" Myka asked hopeful.

"No nurse. Unless you find yourselves in a similar circumstance as before, of course." Vanessa grinned at the blushing Myka.

Helena snickered, regretting the unconscious reaction, pain still radiating through her upper body.

"Still hurts, doesn't it?" Vanessa asked facetiously. "Let that be your guide. They are healing well, but it takes time. Push it and it will take longer. It's not unusual to feel like all is good and suddenly make one wrong move and you're ready to pass out. Try the stairs gradually. I'm sure you're anxious to get into your own place."

"Anything else?" Myka and Helena looked at each other. Helena started to open her mouth, but Vanessa cut her off. "Like I said, it still hurts. The answer is still no. Not yet. You've already experienced the unwelcome results once before." Vanessa sighed. "I know it's not easy, but there are alternatives."

"Seriously?" Myka asked incredulous. "You don't seem to understand. She wasn't able to make it through a sponge bath. You seriously think any form of intimacy is at all possible?"

"Myka!" Helena stared at her aghast at the frankness coming from her partner.

She snapped her head, facing her horrified partner. "Well, it's true. You're not the only one involved here. I can't even kiss you for crying out loud!"

"Okay, hold on you two," Vanessa interrupted. "Helena, you can honestly sit there and tell me that…"

"Yes," she jumped in quickly, staring at the books above the doctor's head, surprised by her own discomfort with the topic.

Any other of her patients would have unraveled her by now, but somehow nothing shocked her about these two anymore. "Well, I can see how that might be a problem. And you, Myka?"

"Doesn't seem too far off." Myka choose to find interest in the floor, beyond being embarrassed now.

"Huh. I suspect that once in your own home, you'll be able to figure things out in your own time. As you've mentioned many times before, Helena, you can be very creative. My advice is to be creative in finding a suitable level of intimacy that is also satisfying. I know you both well enough by know to now that sex is not your only definition of intimacy. I doubt you find the mere act of holding each other unsatisfying, am I right? Go slow and show restraint. Think of it as a time to actually date again."

They both still refused to look her in the face.

"Moving on," Vanessa said to end what she knew would be an on going issue tackled the one she really was concerned about. "How are you two really doing? Nightmares?"

"Yes," they said simultaneously.

"Anything else? Panic attacks? Depression? Lack of motivation?"

Myka looked at Helena first before answering in a question, "All of the above?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Vanessa pushed.

"Yes," Helena whispered.

"That's what I suspected. Look, I've talked to both Artie and Mrs. Frederic. Not just about you, so don't look at me like that."

Helena calmed her annoyance down a notch.

"Pete's holed up in his cave, Claudia's irritable and wanders the warehouse, Steve…not sure what's going on there. Artie's agreed someone needs to be available to help you all, including himself, process what's happened. I'm not going to tell you…I take that back. I have nightmares, too. I was the last one to see HG and had no way of knowing the dire situation she was in or even how I could have helped.  Neither of you are strangers to therapy. I want you both to talk to this person, separately and together. You need to talk to each other and she can probably help with the intimacy issue, too."

"I'm telling you as a friend, I wish I could fix it all and make everything go back to the way it was, but it's never going to be the same and only you can figure out where you go from here and how to get there. Ask for directions. I'm still available in whatever capacity you need me. As your physician and as your friend." Vanessa fought her own tears, something she found happening more frequently with the two women sitting in front of her. "I am so, so sorry. This shouldn't happen to anyone. I hate seeing you like this."

As the two women stood up to leave in the following silence, Vanessa spoke quietly to their retreating backs, stopping them at the door. "Myka. Helena. Don't be afraid to touch each other. It's always been an important part of your relationship even before you 'had' a relationship. You need that contact. You always have. Don't lose that or you will be lost forever."

Outside the closed door, Myka turned Helena around reaching behind her neck, extracting the chain resting with the locket beneath the dark, soft hair around her neck. "I'm ignoring most of that right now because I don't want to think about it anymore right now, but not this part. Give me you're hand." Helena extended her newly semi-freed left hand. Removing the ring from the chain, Myka gingerly slid it into place for the second time. Leaning towards Helena, she placed a soft kiss against the parted ones. "It's back where it belongs."

Helena beamed, gazing at the ring that had been missing from its true resting place for the first time since she first received it. She kissed Myka back, more firmly. Smiling eyes met. "Perhaps we can give kissing another try."

* * *

Damn. She was disappointed to find the door unlocked. She should have expected it. Myka had run back and forth almost every day. She knew partly because she just needed solitude and used it as an escape from reality. They weren't really living there, so it was not part of their reality yet. They all had their places to hide and they all knew where they were. It was an unsaid agreement that no one admitted.

Helena was the only one with no real place to hide, and it showed. She was becoming more withdrawn by the day. Claudia tried to get her back to the cottage yesterday, but HG refused, not seeing the point of walking to a destination with no true purpose.

She wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but the cottage gave her the creeps now without the warm presence of the women that lived here. Everything was wrong. Claudia stopped at the foot of the stairs suddenly losing her courage for what she was about to do. It could become very ugly. Screw it. She took a deep breath and ran up the stairs with one purpose in mind.

Entering the office she walked straight to the closet and opened the door. Myka had said it was somewhere on a shelf. It was organized enough, but she didn't see it. She grabbed one of the desk chairs standing on it to get a better view of the upper two shelves. After moving books, stacks of Helena's workbooks and various office supplies around she finally found what she was looking for. Myka was right when she said it was 'somewhere' on the shelves. 'Somewhere' was actually standing on end behind every book and item on the shelf. She rummaged some more around the office supplies to find the box with the playing pieces; again, well hidden, in an actual supply box. HG had gone to a lot of trouble to hide this stuff. Hiding from the past was more like it.

Claudia remembered when the set came into the house. Artie had complained about his games being ruined during an especially long dry period without retrievals. Helena took every opportunity to play with Claudia in their spare time. Myka, Helena and she had finally been sent out on any easy snag that took them to an antique dealer in Boston. Helena had for some reason been immediately drawn to the set. It wasn't particularly special, but she liked the workmanship of the wooden pieces and went back to purchase the set before they set off for home. One night Helena and Myka had gotten into one of their classic arguments, probably over nothing in particular. Claudia laughed now in hindsight. It made perfect sense now. Claudia had jumped out of the way just in time as the wooden board went flying across the room, shattering against the wall, pieces scattering across the floor. Helena took off to nowhere and Myka stomped up to her room slamming the door leaving Claudia behind to pick up the mess and unable to find the white queen. Two days later she and Helena came back from inventory one night to find the pieces set up on a marble board with a new golden rosewood queen and a note on the board.

_If this board can fly then I deserve to feel the pain of its landing._

The lost piece had since been found a year later, but Helena was gone and Myka refused to play with the new queen on the rare occasion she acquiesced to losing to Claudia. Hindsight again. Myka never put much effort into the game without Helena as an opponent.

Shaking her head clear of the memories, Claudia became more determined with her task, heading out the door and back to the main house. She peeked into the office before entering.

"Hey, is Myka around?"

Helena looked up from staring at her workbook at the desk where she sat like she had done daily since Myka first brought it to her.

"No. I finally convinced her to go back to work. If I'm lucky, she'll be allowed to bring back some files." She looked back down at her book.

Taking a deep breath, Claudia walked into the room with all the confidence she didn't feel and pulled a chair over to the opposite side of the desk setting the board down.

Helena stared at the board motionless then slowly raised her head to look at Claudia directly in her eyes. It took every ounce of restraint for Claudia to not look away, but rather stare back into the cold, dark eyes instead.

"What is this?" Helena asked in an ice tone and slowly enunciated every single word.

"It's called chess, remember?" Claudia answered with a straight face.

"Yes, I see that. What is it doing on this desk?" Again, in that same piercing voice, spoken very clearly. Claudia remembered why she was so nervous around her in the beginning.

"Well, I thought we could play. We haven't played in a really long time, and let's face it, Artie really isn't much of a challenge. SOoo, I thought we could play. It might be a good distraction. You know, keep that brilliant mind of yours busy."

"No," Helena answered curtly and returned her attention to the book in front of her.

"Oh, come on, HG. Please?" she begged. "I have no one to play with and 'Go Fish' with Pete is BOR-ing."

"I said, no. Now take it away," Helena responded, coldly, "now."

"No," Claudia said, hoping she wasn't shaking on the outside as much as she was on the inside.

"What did you say?" Helena merely lifted her eyes from the book on the desk, giving Claudia the real Minoan glare.

"Uh," faking her confidence, she stood up straight and emphatically declared, "I said, no."

"I'm sorry, would you like to try again?"

"You heard me."

"Yes, I heard you. I just want to be sure I heard you correctly." HG hadn't even blinked.

"What are you going to do, 'cause hate to tell you HG, you're not really in the position to do much to me." Claudia took her advantage. _Man, I didn't expect to start playing chess before I even got the pieces out_ , Claudia thought to herself.

Helena slowly stood up and started to walk towards the door.

"Helena, stop!" Helena stopped in mid-stride, surprised by Claudia's nerve. "I know why you stopped playing chess. Don't be mad at Myka, we sort of forced it out of her. She didn't want to tell us."

HG turned around slowly.

"You can't keep running away from it by shoving it in the back of a closet. You SAVED her life. Don't be afraid of that. If you're afraid of love, then what else is there to live for? You're just being selfish. You're keeping something so special and wonderful away from people that love you. Like me. Like Myka. Even Artie."

"Do you really think of me as selfish?" HG asked incredulous.

Claudia looked at the board and the box of pieces on the desk before looking the woman straight in her eyes, all confidence returned. "In this case, yeah, I do. She bought you that board and the queen because she loves you, even if she didn't know it at the time. I also know how much you loved that. You used to stroke the frakking board like a lover…uh, well, looking back now. Oh, never mind. Look, we both know that Myka can't win against me let alone you. I don't even know if I can, but I want to find out. If I can't beat you, then I want the person I really care about, the person I almost lost and feel so blessed to have gotten back, to teach me how to beat her!" Claudia wiped the unexpected tears from her eyes. "I...I really don't know where that came from." She stood by the desk silently crying.

Helena walked over to the distraught woman, reaching up to wipe a tear from a cheek. Placing her hand on the young woman's chest, moisture forming in her own eyes, she quietly said, "It came from here. From the heart of a truly wise woman. Let it also be known, if you ever call me Helena again, I will throw you down when I am physically able. To you, I will always be HG. Move the board over to the sofa table. You can sit on the floor as before. We use Myka's queen, not the original one."

"How'd you know we found it?" Claudia asked in surprise.

Helena sat on the edge of the sofa looking down at Claudia adjusting herself on the floor, cheeks still damp from lost tears. After much thought, she realized after the raw emotional display she deserved the truth. "Before I stashed that box on the shelf I examined the pieces, looking for Myka's queen. I had intended to keep it close by, but I found myself lacking the strength to do so. I came across the original in the process. I never asked Myka about it. I didn't want to bring the topic up. Where did you find it?"

Claudia looked away quickly, avoiding the sad brown eyes. "I found it stuck in the loose fabric under the corner chair you two sat in together reading when you thought no one was around."

HG actually blushed. "Well, then, set up the board. I will play white."

* * *

Claudia was the first to jump up from her spot on the sofa bed, having been comfortably leaning against Steve's shoulder, to answer the door. Helena, having finally conceded to Myka's request of occasionally switching sides on the bed, was dozing still tiring easy after a day of PT and a project she'd been working on in her book, Her head nestled on Myka's lap, Myka absentmindedly played with the soft hair while she read from the book. Pete sat in a chair with his feet resting on the bed. Artie leaned back in the arm chair they pulled in from the living room, his glasses set aside on the table, eyes closed.

Opening the door to a gust of a fresh, soft breeze stood a woman with a suitcase. Claudia stared a moment at the unexpected visitor before shaking her head clear.

"Uh, hi. Can I help you?"

"Hi. I'm Abigail. I think you're expecting me. Mrs. Frederic sent me."

"Artie!" Claudia yelled, not taking her eyes off the new arrival.

Artie shuffled out of the office. "What is it now, Claudia? Did you forget you ordered a pizza again?"

Abigail smiled from the door. "No pizza. Just me." She stuck her hand out to shake his. "I'm Abigail. Mrs. Frederic sent me."

"Oh, oh, yes. Of course. Come in. Where are your manners, Claudia?"

"I hoped to get here earlier, but I got a little lost. The directions didn't make sense and I thought my GPS was malfunctioning."

"Yeah, well, we get that a lot out here. Everyone is in the, uh, the office. Just leave your bags there."

Myka stopped reading and looked up at the stranger standing in the doorway.

"Come in," Artie urged the woman into the room. "Everyone, this is Abigail. She's going to stay with us for a while."

She was greeted with various murmurs. Claudia had jumped back onto the sofa bed, bringing her knees up to her chest and tucked her bare feet under the blanket. Myka gently shook Helena awake. "Bloody hell, Myka, I was asleep." She lifted her head from the comfort of Myka's lap and pushed her hair out of her face before noticing the stranger in the room. "Who the hell are you?"

Claudia snickered at the indecorous greeting of a newly awoken and tired HG.

"I'm Abigail. You must be Helena."

"That's HG to you," Helena corrected her.

"You'll have to excuse her," Myka smiled. "She can be a little cranky when she's woken up like that. I try to avoid it. It makes my life easier."

"I can hear you. I am bloody well awake now for some reason and apparently not the one that I find oh, but so much more enjoyable and very much lacking under the circumstances."

Artie rubbed his face in frustration and embarrassment. "You've met Claudia, and now of course, Helena, or rather HG. Steve, next to Claudia." Steve smiled and gave a small wave, "and Pete here in the chair which he is not supposed to be tipping back in." Artie pushed the chair down. "Oh, yes, and Myka."

Abigail nodded to them all. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" Various forms of 'yes' and 'no' were addressed towards her.

"Uh, just, umm…" Artie stumbled.

"Story time," Claudia blurted.

"Yes, as Claudia said, story time," Artie admitted, somewhat embarrassed.

"Oh, wow. Really? What a great idea. What's the story?" Abigail asked enthusiastically.

Myka turned the book cover towards their new guest. "Kenneth Grahame's  _The Wind in the Willows_. Claudia's request."

"I love that story," she exclaimed.

"Really?" Helena asked, doubtful. "His writing much improved and is quite enjoyable for a light read. He was a bit of a pompous ass, but I found his wife far more than adequate in bed."

"Really, Helena?" Myka admonished.

"Yes, really, she was. Not in comparison to you..."

Myka gently pushed her head back on her lap. "Go back to sleep, Champ."

Abigail's eyes were wide open as she turned her head slightly towards Artie.

"Ah. You must be tired. Steve, would you help get her bags to her room, please?" He shot a cold look at the now sleeping Helena. "Oddly enough, you get used to it pretty quickly. Follow me and I'll show you to your room."

"It better not be Myka's and HG's old room!" Claudia yelled as they left.

Heading up the stairs, he turned to the young woman and begged, "Please don't run away tonight. We really need you."

* * *

"I don't need Twizzlers, and definitely not batteries," she hissed at him under her breath, but not unheard from the others at the table.

"From what I read, I'd think you would. The diagrams helped, but there could be more." Pete whistled. "What exactly is an extended orgasm?"

"Apparently, you missed the point, Pete. I'd have her rewrite them in comic book format, but you'd still miss the point."

"Someone's getting a little cranky. I'd say frustrated even. How long has it been now? Welcome to our world," he pushed, not recognizing how far he had pushed his partner.

"Stop, Pete, or I will tell Helena. I swear to god."

"You'll tell me what, darling?" Helena slowly walked into the kitchen dragging her hand across the back of Myka's shoulders.

"Umm, nothing." Myka shrunk down into the chair.

"Yeah, Myka, tell HG what?" Claudia was enjoying this game. She couldn't decide who she was enjoying watch squirm more; Myka or Pete.

"Am I missing something important here?" Abigail leaned over to ask Steve under her breath.

"Well, it's certainly going to be interesting. Here, have a croissant." He passed the tray as he leaned back in his chair to watch the drama unfold.

"Nothing." Myka took a bite of her muffin followed by a sip of coffee.

"It must be something, Myka, if you're threatening Pete with apparently what you would consider something he may lose his life over or if nothing else his manhood." Helena raised her eyebrows. She took Myka's coffee cup and took a deep gulp. "How can you drink this vile substance?"

"Then don't drink it!" everyone said at once.

She raised her eyebrows at them all and took another sip before handing the cup back to Myka, winking at her, and leaned against the table facing her. "It needs cream. Did he call me your stud muffin, again?"

"You know about that?" Pete's eyes widened.

"Of course I do. I'm not a simpleton. Though somewhat offensive, I have gleaned the essence of the meaning. And after all, Myka was the one that got, how do you put it again? Ah, yes, 'The really hot Brit.' I can't very well argue with that statement, now, can I? Myka enjoys holding threats over people as bribes, don't you, dear?" She smirked in her direction.

"Well, when I need to, sure. I already lost two of those to Claudia thanks to a few marshmallows. You are not exactly the easiest person to reason with sometimes." Myka took a drink of Helena's tea as the woman reached for the cup. Helena raised one eyebrow at the action and attempted to cross her arms, still not used to the idea of the sling and the pain associated with such an action. Immediately, she lost all color from her face.

"What does Claudia know?" Pete interjected, getting ignored.

"And you are?" Helena relaxed through the pain, jumping back into the argument. "Must I once more remind you who it was that locked me out of our bedroom one night? Or who insisted on the very cold, uncomfortable sleeping arrangements?"

"Uh-oh, here it comes." Claudia started to push her chair away from the table.

Steve leaned over to Abigail, "I wasn't here that night."

"Are they always this volatile?" she asked.

"Which ones?" Steve laughed. "Let's just say they are both, uh, rather passionate people, in more ways than one."

"Oh, so that was my fault, was it?" Myka raised her voice. "And who just took off to whoever knows where in the middle of nowhere South Dakota in the middle of an argument? You woke Claudia up at 2 a.m.!"

Claudia now leaned in to update their new addition. "There's like some curse here. Everything happens at 2 a.m. or close to it." She turned towards Myka, tempting fate. "Uh, Myka, if I can jump in here. In all fairness, it was you that locked the door, yet somehow ever since you've never been able to learn how to do it again."

"Learn to knock!" Myka and Helena said at the same time, glaring at her. Claudia quickly backed down into her chair.

Steve commented quietly again, "Claudia has this habit of walking in on them during their, uh, more intimate moments. That's pretty amazing in itself, 'cause they aren't exactly quiet sometimes. We had a box of earplugs handy before we kicked them out. Actually, we still keep them handy for when the windows are open. We really should have built that place further away," he pondered.

"Why don't you just lock the door?" Claudia complained.

"Because you break in anyway, so what's the point?" Myka threw her hands up into the air, slamming back into the chair, tipping it back slightly with the force.

"A very valid point, Myka," Helena conceded.

"Valid point? You're the one who perfected her skills!" Myka leaned towards Helena, hands grasping the edge of the table.

"Oh, yes. I did, didn't I? Well, it is a very useful skill, you must admit. It has gotten us around a few obstacles here and there, including handcuffs. Ah, the early days…We do get quite spoiled as a result, though. She does make a lovely margarita, again, thanks to my tutelage. Yours really are far too weak."

"They're exactly the way they are supposed to be. And, are you seriously trading orgasms for margaritas?" Myka asked in disbelief, now forgetting they had an audience. She pushed her chair back, knocking it on the floor, looking down at the smaller woman.

Abigail's eyes widened, curiosity piqued at the unabashed argument.

"Well, that's all we've got right now! Dr. Calder's rules, not mine. I'm certainly willing to give it a go anytime you ask, or beg!"

"Says the person who almost passed out getting off the toilet last night. You can barely make it up three stairs yet. I have far better proven ways in making you pass out, and if you're going to do any screaming with my help, it's not going to be a result of your broken bones!"

"Are they always this...blunt?" Abigail asked Steve and Claudia on either side of her.

"Yes and no. HG's influence I think. It's a little embarrassing at first, but ya kinda get used to it," Claudia admitted.

Steve quietly spoke, scratching his closely cropped head. "Usually a little more subtle. They're just a little, how can I put this?"

"Horny and frustrated," Claudia finished for him, chuckling. "You could say it's been known to be a major athletic event in their relationship at times."

"At this rate I'll have forgotten!" Helena retorted, face reddening with exertion, ignoring the pain radiating throughout her upper body.

"Um, guys? You might want to take this…"

"Shut up, Pete!" The two women turned on him at the same time.

"You certainly remembered pretty quickly after a century. I guess you have something to look forward to, don't you!?"

"Which brings me back to my original point," Pete stepped in between the two. "Go buy the damn Twizzlers!"

"Shut up, Pete!" Once again in unison.

"I really don't care about the journals," Pete started to say.

Abigail sat frozen in her seat. "What have I gotten myself into? What journals?"

Steve leaned over again. "Oh, Helena's old journals from before she was bronzed. You know, warehouse 12? You could say she was sort of the original bohemian and then some, and she sort of wrote it all down. The red ones are apparently the most explicit and erotic, or so we've been led to believe. Pete snuck a peek and Helena doesn't know. She'll probably kill him with her pinky, well obviously not the left one."

"With her pinky? Seriously?"

Claudia leaned over. "Well, we have no real proof she can, but if anyone could, it would be her."

Artie walked into the mayhem unnoticed and stood behind the new comer.

"Does somebody want to tell me exactly what the problem is?" he bellowed above the ensuing chaos.

"Pete read Helena's red journals!" Myka shouted out without thinking.

Silence enveloped the room as everyone froze around the table, slowly turning their heads in Helena's direction, while Myka started backing away from her, a deep flush starting up her neck. "Now, Helena, don't be..."

"Oh, Myka, I am so sorry," Helena stared at the reddening woman, before closing her eyes covering them with her free hand. "I had no idea. How did he get our exploits in the first place?"

Myka covered her face. "Helena! I can't believe you just said that. He didn't know the who until you just opened your big mouth! I didn't know!"

"Well, how could you not? The condition of the paper and its obvious age should have been the first clue. How was I to know you didn't know? He at least I gets away with the mistake by the pure fact he's an over-grown buffoon."

Everyone turned to the two women, wide-eyed and in shock, watching the train wreck unfold.

"Wait a minute," Pete stared at Myka. "That's about," he pointed back and forth between the two women. "I mean, it's not just…Seriously? YOU?" He looked at Myka shocked, then smiled. "Oh, Mykes, you are such a lucky woman."

"Shut up, Pete. It's none of your damned business!" she yelled at her partner, wanting to melt into the floor. "That's personal information." She spun on Helena, narrowing her eyes. "I hate you. You had to write it all down, didn't you? You could have at least told me!"

"Honestly, Myka, perhaps he'll learn a thing or two. He certainly can't kiss worth a damn. I am sorry. It's not like I left them out in the open! You can hardly blame me for his reading them. How did he acquire them in the first place?"

"Hey! I've never had any complaints before," Pete interjected, ego sorely hurt.

"Really, Pete, must I keep reminding you? It was neither remarkable nor memorable. I'm certain I have more than enough experience to be a credible judge." She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "I'm so glad I ended up with the girl. Men have so much to learn. No offense."

"None taken, I think." Pete scratched his head trying to decide if he was just insulted.

"Helena, would you just stop? You're making this worse," Myka implored picking the forgotten chair back up, falling onto its hard surface and dropping her red face into her hands.

"You did kiss me back, though. You seemed pretty into it, HG, and I wasn't hearing you complaining," Pete entered the argument now.

"Pete, she's HG Wells," Myka retorted, turning towards him. "She was faking it! You wouldn't know the real thing if she actually gave it to you."

"How was I supposed to know? We didn't know she was a she until after. Hey, wait a minute. What do you mean I wouldn't know?"

"Hold on a sec," Abigail turned to Claudia who was physically pushing herself further away from the table, "Pete and HG?"

"Don't ask."

"Myka, again, how did he get them in the first place? You know I keep them well hidden." Helena tried to figure out how she was responsible for Pete's transgression.

"We were looking for clues to save your lost ass, that's how! We went through everything to try to find a clue." Myka stared at Pete, narrowing her eyes. "They were all told NOT to read the red ones. Do you honestly think I'd share that information? Thanks to you, there is now a WHO attached to your sexual prowess. Seems it's me!"

"You weren't complaining at the time," Helena continued, "and you must admit they are all well aware of my sexual prowess!"

"Really, Helena? I think they all have a pretty good idea complaints have never been an issue! Why do you think we live over there?" She pointed at the back door towards the cottage.

"Children, do we not have work to do? You two," he pointed to the two arguing women, trying to defuse the situation. "You have two options now; home, or wherever you are, or storage." He crossed his arms.

"Artie!" Helena complained.

Abigail turned to the two on either side of her. "Storage?"

Claudia and Steve jumped up quickly, Claudia grabbing the car keys. "Yeah, kind of a time out, thanks to them. I get to drive." Claudia ran out the door.

"Aww, come on." Steve slumped as he followed her out complaining, "You got to drive yesterday."

Artie turned to Abigail, taking in her astonished expression. "Feel at home, yet?"

"Is it always like this?"

"I'd say you arrived just in time." Artie watched Myka support Helena as she obviously caught an unexpected catch in her side. "Come on. I'll give you the nickel tour."

Abigail reluctantly got up to follow Artie, looking over her shoulder at the two women, quietly glaring at each other, wondering what she'd gotten herself into.

  



	6. Chapter 6

* * *

"So, Abigail seems nice," Pete commented, trying to make some sort of conversation after the morning's heated discussion and alleviate some of the tension encompassing the room. Kind of an apology for his own part.

"Yes, Pete, she does." Helena grimaced with effort at what seemed minimal movements with her hand under the close eye of the physical therapist. He remembered first-hand from the last surgery how difficult it was to hold her back. This time was proving no different, and the work was more extensive.

"You are going to talk with her, right? I mean, it makes sense," he tried again.

She glared at him, moving on to another, more difficult exercise, clenching her jaw, regretting it quickly.

"Pete, please do not think we must converse at every one of these sessions on my account. I am quite comfortable with silence. I do my best to ignore the fact that you are far more acquainted with my personal life as it is by association."

"Huh?" Pete looked at her confused.

She stopped what she was doing, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, Pete. I know very well you serve as Myka's confidante and although I trust her to not share the more private aspects of our lives with you, I am not unaware that you know far more than I would prefer. However, it is to her benefit so I make few complaints. So please, do shut up."

"Wow. You really are cranky today," he complained, moving on to his next exercise. "Look, I'm not trying to get into your business. All I'm saying is it helps. I went to someone when I stayed with mom and I'm glad Abigail is here. I sure don't know what to do with everything going on in my head. I'm terrified by association of what's got to be in yours."

"Pete…" There was that glare again. He always wanted to cringe, but had learned to resist it.

They continued with their various work in silence, the therapist quietly guiding them in the awkward silence. Soon Pete would be done, but Helena would continue for a short time after a break.

"Am I really that bad of a kisser?" Pete finally asked what was bothering him.

Helena rolled her eyes at him again. "Pete, really. Don't take it so personally."

"Well, you seemed into it at the time." He stopped his task, staring at her.

"What did you expect? I learned long ago how to manipulate a man's ego for my benefit. It was an action based on calculation, not desire. If you think back to the circumstances, it was a rather successful move on my part, until Myka showed up that is, and that damned cell phone of yours." Quickly tiring of his sixteen-year-old insecurities and getting more frustrated with her hand, she stopped at the end of her repetitions. Standing up straight she turned to face him and addressed him with all seriousness. "Pete, it was not my intention to hurt your feelings this morning and for that I am sorry. If I may, let me end this little pissing contest you so adamantly seem to think you must continue with me over your partner, who I remind you is my wife, regarding that damned kiss. I have experienced and enjoyed far more than my fair share of kisses with both genders. All have provided various degrees of some pleasure. I prod you on more because you make such an unnecessary fuss over a minuscule thing which I will never understand the significance of. You are not an inadequate kisser, Pete. It was not necessarily the kiss itself so much as…oh, how can I put this so you can understand?" She stopped to stare at the ceiling. "It's the…oh, bloody hell…it's the taste, god damn it. For the first time in this overly extensive life of mine, Myka…tastes…right." She enunciated the last three words. She sighed heavily at his pouting face, restraining from rolling her eyes in disgust once more. "I am sorry if you don't understand that, as I cannot put it in any other words that I think you can understand. Someday, I dearly hope, you will find that person too. Please, do not make me go into any further detail, and for all that is holy, if that even exists, from this point forward may we just drop the 'kiss' incident and move on? It's been nearly four years now and I have no intentions of letting go of what I have so fiercely fought for!"

For the first time in any of their interactions, either good or bad, Pete physically stepped back in surprise. After a full minute's silence, Pete cleared his throat. "You do realize you referred to MY partner as your WIFE. Have a good afternoon, HG." Pete turned around abruptly, leaving a sweaty Helena behind to continue with her rigorous session.

Helena was left staring at the door. She turned to the already uncomfortable young man and spat at him. "Well, let's get on with this. I have little patience for such mundane idiocy."

* * *

_PT over. Desperately need a shower -Please. :-/_

Myka stared at the text, frowning, the use of an emoticon not going unnoticed. Helena rarely asked for a shower so soon after PT, always waiting for Myka to return for lunch. Artie had been very flexible with her assignments. She assumed it was a directive from the top, but she still felt uncomfortable in asking to leave. She was happy remaining at the warehouse for now, letting Artie, Steve and Claudia do the field work. She had little time on her hands juggling her life to wonder why she had no itch to go out in the field. Pete was out for another three weeks at least. She was happy to wait.

Pulling out her Farnsworth she got through to Claudia.

"Hey, Claud. Tell Artie I need to get back to Leena's. Sounds like PT was a rough today."

Claudia got pushed aside before she could open her mouth. Artie's face appeared, distorted by its close proximity to the viewer. "You know, we have someone for that now. Her name is Abigail. It was my understanding that Dr. Calder gave you both direct orders to schedule time with her. One of these days you are going to have to actually work."

"Well, Artie, I'm not really comfortable with Helena showering with anyone except me and I don't think it's in Abigail's contract, even in the fine print." So, I'll be seeing you at lunch with a not stinky Helena. Bye." She slammed the Farnsworth closed. Claudia smiled as Myka walked past her out the umbilicus, Artie nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Myka arrived at Leena's to meet Pete walking out the door.

"Your girlfriend slash wife, or whatever she is, needs an attitude adjustment," quoting 'girlfriend slash wife' with his fingers. Turning towards her confused face he added, "Oh, and apparently you taste good." He kept on walking with no destination in mind.

"Huh?" Myka turned back and headed towards the office looking for Helena. She found her sitting at the desk staring at her workbook, pencil sitting in the middle of the desk. "What's up with Pete?"

Helena looked up blankly at her. "Bruised ego I should think."

"Now what did you do?" Myka asked almost sympathetically, afraid of the answer.

"Why is it everyone always assumes it is my fault? I merely clarified past events. Now please, I desperately need a shower."

Myka chose to ignored whatever exchange occurred learning long ago to let them sort their own issues out. "Good. I've waited all morning to see you naked." Myka smiled, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"So it would seem from breakfast. Please try to keep your hands to yourself," Helena responded seriously.

Now totally confused, Myka mutely followed her to the bathroom and into the shower. They'd quickly established an effective routine that allowed Helena as much independence as possible. Myka knew how sensitive she was about being dependent on others for what, in her mind, were simple tasks. Though at first a high point in their day, and enjoying the pleasure of simply being able to touch the other in solitude, showering quickly became, for Helena, a matter of necessity in which Myka showered and stood by to assist when required. Helena remained adamant that Myka not come anywhere near her collarbone, claiming it was easier to gauge comfort on the still sensitive area. Myka knew she wasn't able to admit that the lack of sensation at the incision site was the true reason for her objections. The only task it seemed Helena took any pleasure in anymore was having her hair washed, relaxing into Myka's diligent fingers and finally leaning back into the wet, warm body with Myka's chin resting on her shoulder and arms carefully wrapped around the sensitive ribs.

Helena remained silent as Myka helped her dress and proceeded to dry her hair. Myka attempted to break the dead air by sporadically commenting on activities at the warehouse.

"Did you bring me any files?" Helena asked brusquely.

"Uh, no," Myka responded taken off guard by the abruptness of the question. "There hasn't been much activity. Sort of a blessing right now under our present circumstances. What do you want me to look for?" Myka threw the towel to the side where it hit the wall and fell into a heap on the floor.

"Anything. Perhaps something that has remained elusive for some time. Claudia hooked me up to the computer system and has shown me how to navigate some of the programs. She's insisted on working from here for the most part and would be available for any assistance I may require so you can spend more time at the warehouse. I assume she volunteered to babysit me."

"That's a bit harsh, don't you think? She wants to spend time with you and help just like everyone else does. She wants you to be included in warehouse activities." Myka looked around the bathroom. "Where's the comb?"

"Wherever you left it last. Do you honestly think I need it after my hair has been pulled up out of my face?" she snapped. "And don't pull so hard today."

Myka took a deep breath, searching the drawers, finding the comb stuck in the back.

"I remember a time when you begged me to do this for you," Myka commented sadly.

"I don't need a babysitter, and Claudia and Steve can sleep in their own rooms. That's why they have them. Despite what everyone likes to assume, I was never much interested in foursomes. Two is plenty for me, thank you, if we ever resume the pleasure of such a thing, that is."

Getting annoyed, Myka purposely yanked harder with the comb smiling at the anticipated expletive. "My understanding is that you are perfectly happy with margaritas for the moment. Considering you still have me sleeping next to you every night, that's a pretty low blow, Helena. I can easily find another bed. Ours is still empty upstairs. I agree it's been time for them to leave for a while and they should have left after the first night. I also thought you'd have said something if you really wanted them to go. It's not like you've ever held back from making your opinion known to those around you, myself included." Myka slammed the comb down on the counter, her patience quickly evaporating. "I know you're going through hell right now. You want to know how I know? Because so am I! To top it all off, I get to watch you go through it at the same time and I can't do a damn thing about it!" She stopped, taking a deep, ragged breath. "You have no idea how much that hurts, Helena. No idea. Don't think you are alone in all of this. So stop judging everyone around you."

Myka could hear the sounds of the others back from the warehouse for lunch. Taking the opportunity for escape, she looked down at Helena staring straight in front of her into empty space. She quickly pulled Helena's hair into a pony tail and walked out of the bathroom, stopping at the door she turned to the mute.

"Claudia isn't a babysitter. I suspect she's scared, just like the rest of us. I'm going to eat lunch with my family. Feel free to join us for once if you'd like. Oh, and you're welcome for the help with your fucking shower."

Myka turned and quietly left the room. Helena stared at her throbbing hand, immobilized in its brace. Gingerly, she ran her right hand across her ribs and up to her collarbone, still unable to feel anything. Closing her eyes, she slammed her head back against the tiled wall and continued to sit in the pervasive silence she'd created around herself.

* * *

Steve and Claudia were putting the last items on the table while Abigail finished filling glasses with water when Myka walked in.

"Where's HG?" Steve asked as Myka sat down.

"Probably out berating other people's kissing," Pete mumbled.

Myka gave him an odd look, still confused by what was going on between the two. He shrugged at her, dishing up coleslaw.

"She's finishing up from her shower. Don't start waiting now. She can get something later if she wants. I'm sure she can figure out something since she's so creative."

"I'm working from here this afternoon so I can help if she needs it," Claudia said between eating apple slices.

Myka raised her head, contemplating. "No. Go to the warehouse. Let her figure it out on her own."

Abigail sat back observing the interactions and listening to the exchanges, quickly formulating a solid picture of the house dynamics.

"I can make up a plate for her," Steve offered.

"She's perfectly able to get it herself, Steve!" Myka snapped. "By the way, you and Claudia sleep in your own rooms now, and where's Artie?"

Steve and Claudia looked at each other quickly before Claudia responded weakly, "Uh, sure, Mykes. I guess you know where we are if you need us. Artie decided it might be best to eat over there away from you."

"What?" Myka exclaimed.

"Well, you know, he felt a little miffed after you left. He's cooling down, okay?"

"Why does Artie need to cool down?" Helena asked from the door making her way to the empty chair next to Myka.

"Ah, and here's Ms. Casanova herself," Pete snidely remarked. "Oh, that's right. You have a WIFE now. Sorry." He sat back in his chair drinking his milk.

"Oh, nice of you to finally bless us with your esteemed presence. And just what is going on with you two?"

Myka looked between the two glaring at each other.

"What's with all this wife shit? You know how we feel about that, Pete."

"Well, then maybe we need to invite Freud to lunch sometime," Claudia said under her breath.

"I don't think you're really in a position to ask us what's going on. Obviously, you and your wife have your own issues," Pete sneered.

Myka placed her fork down carefully and gave him a blank stare. She wasn't going to fight him too.

"May I make a suggestion here?" Abigail interrupted.

"NO!" the others all said at once.

"Okay. Well, my door is always open as they say. I hear you have a magnificent garden. I thought I'd go wander around there today."

"Who bloody well cares where you intend to spend your afternoon?" Helena barked at her across the table.

"Helena…" Myka placed a gentle hand on Helena's arm causing her to jump away in surprise. She grimaced in pain.

"No, please, tell me what you think you can actually fix here. Can you fix this?" Helena held up her hand. Abigail sat impassive to the outburst. "You think you can take it all away? Do you even know what it's like to have your hand crushed in front of your very eyes? It's bloody useless!" Helena stood up spreading both arms across the table in front of her, everything in their path thrown to the sides, plates and glasses crashing on the floor. "It's just bloody useless!" Pete's glass of milk, the only thing left within reach, went flying across the kitchen crashing into the refrigerator.

Myka jumped back from the explosion next to her, backing into the wall and sliding down to the floor.

The explosion settled into a looming silence. Helena remained frozen at the table, eyes glazed over, all color gone from her face now and staring ahead at a wall of emptiness. Steve quietly got up and walked to her side, waiting for some sort of reaction. "HG?" he said quietly. She jumped and lashed out with her right arm straight at him. He caught her arm just before impact. "HG, it's Steve."

"NO!" she screamed in his face just before she turned to her side and retched what little food she'd managed to eat. He caught her before she collapsed, picking her up to carry her out of the kitchen. As he backed out through the door, he looked at Myka curled against the wall, Claudia sitting beside her, and looked pointedly at Abigail, tears streaming down his face.

"Where do we go from here and how do we get there?" He continued backing out the door, blindly making his way to the office.

Pete kneeled down in front of Myka and looked at Claudia. "It's okay, Claud, I've got this," he said quietly.

"No, Pete, I can handle this."

"Claud," he tipped her chin up to look at him, "This is mine." He picked up his partner, wincing at the weight on his shoulder.

"Pete..." He looked at Claudia and shook his head, following Steve's path, but heading upstairs to Myka's old room. "Yeah, this is yours."

Myka dropped her head against Pete's, sobbing. "I don't know what's happening, Pete. What is happening to us?"

"I don't know."

"Claudia," Abigail caught her attention. "Let's clean this up and you can show me the garden. Does that sound like a good plan? I'm okay with silence."

Claudia took one more look at the now empty door before turning her attention back to the room.

"Yeah, sure, but I'm not cleaning up any puke," she said emotionless. "We have issues."

"So I've heard. It's a deal." Abigail smiled. "I'll get the broom. Where exactly is the broom?"


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

Myka woke up with a jerk, sitting straight up and looking around the room in confusion at the unexpected surroundings. It reminded her of the first morning she woke up in this room alone.

"Hey, Mykes. It's okay." Pete reached up from beside her, pulling her back into his side. Slowly she relaxed, resting her head on his shoulder.

"No," she mumbled into his scratchy neck, "It's not okay."

He took a deep breath shifting her body with his expanding chest. "You're right, it's not okay. None of us are okay. After all the time in the service and listening to people talk about the aftermath of stuff like this, I never thought I'd actually be one of them, you know?" He hugged her closer as she put her arm back around him. "It's bad enough when it's someone in your group; it's another when you realize how much you love them. I mean, I've always loved you, you know. You've always been more than my partner. You're my best friend, my buddy, my family. And Claudia, well, what's not to love about her." He chuckled. "But, HG? Don't take this the wrong way...she was family 'cause she was a part of you and became a part of the rest of us screwballs. I just never knew how much I loved her for her. I found out I'd do anything to get her back. As much as I would for you and I did. I'd do the same for any of us. Geez, Myka, I just about lost you in the process."

Myka readjusted her head on his shoulder and hugged him to her. "How many times have we been out on the field and seen the other come close to…well, you know. But we always came back. Why didn't it affect us like this? You were so determined and I couldn't catch up with you. It keeps rewinding in my head all the time. Over and over. You were just standing there in the middle of the building, completely oblivious to any danger. You just walked in. You never even hesitated at the door, Mykes. You just walked in." He snuffed up the growing mucus in his nose. "Myka, you stood there. You just stood there in plain sight. I barely got him in my sights before I pulled the trigger. It was just a glint in that one beam of light. I'm not even sure I had him in my sights. I just pulled the trigger. I don't know what I would have done if I'd missed. I almost lost you both that day. I didn't even know where Steve was. Hell, only you knew she was still alive. I don't care what you say; that is freaky. It's really cool, but it is kind of freaky from the outside looking in. I love you both for it. It's just what you guys are."

"I'm sorry, Pete," she mumbled.

He turned to look at her, streaks of moisture on his cheeks, and kissed her forehead. "For what? There's no reason for anyone to be sorry. It happened. It was really, really bad, and it happened. All I care about is that we're all here."

"Pete, I feel like I'm losing her. I feel like I'm losing myself." Myka rambled on, afraid she'd never get the words out, "I have nightmares that we get there too late, that we couldn't find her or that we misinterpreted the clues and made a wrong guess. The Regents played with her. I knew it and tried to rationalize it. Every time she left I was terrified she would just disappear again and I would disappear along with her. We lived a lie and didn't even know it. Everything we knew has been taken away from us."

"Not everything. You still have your family. We're still here. We are all still here together. I remember Steve telling me that one night a long time ago. What did he say? Oh, yeah, 'We're all here, we're all back, and we are all here in the same place, together.' Huh. That was our first story time night. And you never lived a lie. Every minute you were together was real. We were all witnesses to that, in more ways than we want to know." He laughed. "Man, were we ever witnesses to that."

Myka giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"Helena is right, boys smell funny."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Something she said once. I can't really explain." They lay in silence immersed in their own thoughts.

"Pete, what time is it?" she asked breaking the quiet.

"Around three I think. Myka, you need to start talking with Abigail. She's really cool. It's like you're not really talking, but you are. I don't know. She just has this way of not being 'shrinky'. It's the only way you're going to get through this, Mykes. Either one of you. You need to talk to each other, too. Abigail can help with that."

"I know," she whispered.

"Turn around would ya? I need to get off my back and I've got snot stuck in my nose." He grabbed some tissues from the bedside table, blowing his nose.

Myka rolled over on her side as Pete readjusted himself, pulling her closer.

"If you ever tell her I let you spoon me…" Myka started to warn him.

"Are you serious? Like that's ever going to happen. I, for one, plan on having children, even if you two can't figure it out. What's up with all that anyway?" he asked.

"What's up with what?" she asked, readjusting his arm. "Stay away from the boobs."

"Oh, sorry. It wasn't intentional. Geez, Mykes, you're like my sister." He moved his arm. "I mean the whole marriage/kid thing. It's like you two want it, but you don't. It slips out periodically. Do you know how many times you refer to the each other as wife and then deny it? What's with that?"

"I'll tell her about the boobs if you don't stop. It's none of your business."

"No, I'm serious. I know you've explained it to me, but you kind of contradict yourselves. Are you guys just scared? I mean, I can kind of understand the kid thing. I can't even begin to think what it's like to live with a ghost in your house, and don't tell me there isn't one. I can't imagine there not being one. Before you say anything, answer me this, because I know it changes depending on the day who's wearing that locket right now?"

Myka's hand went straight to her neck.

"That's what I thought. In a way, Christina has become as much a part of your life as she was HG's."

"That's not why, Pete. You haven't seen it recently, have you?"

"Yeah, actually I have. All three of you are in there. That kind of makes a family and it's one with a ghost of someone that died way before you were ever born. I'm not judging, Myka, but don't you think it's a little weird that you're the one wearing the three of you right now? Maybe you need your own locket; one with room to grow."

"I never thought about it like that. It was just a way of keeping a part of Helena close when she was out running around trying not to get killed."

"Well, maybe you should find another way. For starters, she's not running around trying not to kill herself anymore."

"Aren't we all doing that, Pete? Isn't that what we do every day? Why would we want to bring a child into that?"

"I don't know. Maybe you don't. Guess that's for you guys to figure out. And would you two please figure out if you're each other's wives or partners or whatever, 'cause you're really confusing the hell out of all of us."

"We don't." Myka turned her head around to glare at him.

"Uh, yeah, you do. You just don't hear it." He chuckled at the shocked expression on her face.

There was a knock on the door as Claudia stuck her head in.

"Okay, I've walked in on a lot of disturbing moments in this room, but this is the last thing I ever thought I'd see. How much are you going to pay me to not tell HG?" She waved her phone in front of them.

Myka shot up out of Pete's arms. "You didn't!"

"Maybe I did, and maybe I didn't. It all depends on what it's worth to you." Claudia smirked at them from the door. "On a serious note, Abigail thinks we should have a group thingy tonight after dinner or something, like around sevenish. I'll be there and Artie said he would be, too. No pressure. Just show up if you want in the living room. She's pretty cool."

Pete sat up looking at his watch. "I'll be there, Claud."

"Okay, see ya."

"I need to go clear my head, Mykes, unless you want me to stay."

"No. Go ahead. I think I'll stay here a little longer." She rolled back over, clutching one of the pillows to herself.

Pete got up leaving a book behind, hidden behind his body.

"Pete, what's this?" Myka picked up the beaten up book, barely recognizing the cover.

"Oh, sorry, I almost forgot. So much has happened since I got back. Mom sent that back with me. I guess the Regents found what little there was left of HG's stuff wherever she was holed up in Quebec. Mom thought you'd want it back and kind of quietly, uh, acquired it shall we say and nobody knows. I was reading it while you slept. I sort of get it why you two like it so much. Maybe you can read it for story time again? It gives me a reason to look at the stars more. I want to laugh again too."

Myka caressed the nearly destroyed cover, smiling. "Thanks, Pete."

* * *

Claudia started to hop down the stairs two at a time then thought better of it at the first landing. She hesitated at this door, unlike Myka's old bedroom. Old habits maybe? She'd always hesitated at HG's door, but never Myka's. Even after HG just stopped going back to her own room and never left Myka's, she didn't hesitate. She thought Artie was going to have a heart attack over that one. Vanessa finally talked him down. It was hard for him to argue something he found out two months after it actually happened; especially when he found out Mrs. Frederic knew about Tenerife. Of course, in his defense, he was at the warehouse while the rest of them were buying stock in ear plugs.

She knocked softly on the closed door, listening with her ear against the door. Not hearing anything, she slowly opened the door, peering through the crack. Steve looked up from the bed, leaning back against the headboard, Helena's head in his lap and his hand resting on her back. He nodded his head for her to come in. She sat on the sofa bed, soon to be just a sofa again.

"How is she?" she whispered.

He shrugged his shoulders. "She's been in and out most of the afternoon. I'm not sure if she'll even remember what happened."

"I don't think I'm likely to forget. I'd be just as happy if she didn't remember." Claudia stared at the heap in his lap.

"Myka?"

"Pete's been with her. He just went for a walk. She's still in the old room. Abigail is having a group thingy around seven if you want to join. Most of us will be there. Well, I don't know about Myka, but Artie, Pete and I will be there. No pressure or anything. She's kind of cool. We had a nice walk in the garden."

Steve raised his eyebrows. "You and psychotherapy?"

"Well, no……well, maybe. I don't know. It didn't feel like it. Maybe that's the difference. She's really not shrinky. Anyway, that's what's going on. Just show up if you want to."

"I'll think about it." Steve leaned back and closed his eyes, rubbing his hand up the length of Helena's back a few times.

"Are you okay, Steve?" Claudia asked reluctantly, face contorted.

He opened his eyes again. "Are any of us?"

"No, not really," Claudia agreed. "At first it seemed like any other mission, you know? We did the research, we made the plan and we acted, and then it all changed. When you got on the Farnsworth, Steve, it all changed. I've never seen you cry like that before. That made all the difference. It wasn't an artifact. It was a person. It was her." Claudia nodded towards the restless woman. "It was family. We almost lost her, Steve."

"I know. I was there." He closed his eyes momentarily, letting out a deep breath, before continuing. "I saw her brought out of the cabin, unrecognizable. She could barely breathe, Claudia. You weren't there. I'm glad you weren't." He ended quietly, closing his eyes again.

"Well, tonight at seven. You want me to stay?" Again, the hesitation.

"No. I think you should go, Claud. I'm going to stay here and keep an eye on her. At least until Myka comes back. If Myka comes back."

"Whoa, Steve. What's that about? Of course she'll be back."

Steve sat up looking at Claudia sadly. "They're at odds, Claudia. They're fighting three separate battles within the same war. Never mind." He sat back closing his eyes.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you later." Claudia walked to the door looking back at the two on the bed. Everything was wrong. That's all she could put together.

Helena jumped at the click of the door shutting. She grabbed her side gasping with pain from the sudden violent move, her body screeching in outrage.

"HG?" Steve whispered.

Helena slowly relaxed through harsh breaths before turning towards the direction of his voice.

"Steve. What are you doing here? Myka. Something's wrong. Where is she?" Helena was starting to panic.

"She's okay, sort of. She's upstairs in the old bedroom. Just try to breathe easy." He rubbed her back, easing her head back onto his lap.

"Why am I on the wrong side of the bed?" HG mumbled.

Steve smiled. "Because you're a pain in the ass and I didn't want you to end up on your left side. How is your shoulder?"

"Hurts like a son of a bitch," she spat at the throbbing. "Why does it hurt so much? Why is there a bandage on my hand?"

"Because a few hours ago you cleared the table with both arms. I think you cut your hand on a knife. It's pretty minor and you'll be able to take it off tonight. It was just bleeding a little. You don't remember do you?"

She eased herself out of his lap and moved herself to lean against him on the headboard.

"I'm afraid, Steve." He could barely hear her.

"I know." He encased her with his arm as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Steve, I have the most dreadful taste in my mouth." She smacked her mouth a few times.

"Uh, that would be lunch. Myka's not the only one good at recycling. You want me to get you some mouthwash?"

"I believe this requires more than mouthwash. You'll still be here?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah." He leaned back, once again closing his eyes, allowing her to extricate herself from his arms. On her return, she resumed her former position to sit in silence.

Breaking the temporary calm, Steve felt Helena smile against his shoulder and felt the slight unconscious chuckle that caused her to gasp from the newly stressed ribs.

"Care to share?" he asked hugging her closer.

"Please do not be offended, but boys smell funny." She grinned.

"That's okay. I think girls smile funny." He smiled back at her. "You're not so bad, though."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She smiled up at him.

"Oh, don't. It's more of a familiarity thing." He smiled back at her.

They readjusted themselves back into the silence.

Steve heard activity outside the door and looked at the clock. It was already seven.

"Something I need to know about?" she asked quietly.

"A group session with Abigail. Do you want to go?"

"I think perhaps not tonight."

He wasn't surprised. He sighed, trying to decide if he wanted to go. He'd have thought Myka would have returned by now.

"HG, what I'm going to say has nothing to do with what's going on out there. You need to talk to Abigail. You need to talk about what happened to you. And, you need to tell Myka, because she needs to know. She needs to understand what you're experiencing then and now. Right now, she only knows what she found and can only imagine and make up her own scenario which is probably worse and better than reality. Just as important she needs to tell you what she went through trying to find you because you have no idea. Her experience is just as important and relative to why and how she is reacting to things."

"I know," Helena answered weakly into his shoulder.

"She loves you, you know. More than I've ever witnessed anyone before." He gave her a slight hug, resting his head against hers. "Will you be okay if I leave? I think I kind of need to sit in on this thing of Abigail's. I don't want to, but I know I need to." Steve looked down at her, sad eyes asking for the truth.

"Yes. I need a trip to the bathroom anyway."

Steve nodded, getting off the bed. He closed up the sofa bed and helped her out of the bed.

"Damn, it hurts like a bugger," she complained.

He squinted at her concerned. "I'm going to call Dr. Calder first. I think she's going to want to have x-rays done to make sure nothing shifted. You performed quite an impressive show."

"Did I now? I must have for it to hurt like this." She snapped her head to the door watching.

"What wrong?" Steve asked worried.

"Nothing." Helena smiled before the door opened and Myka stuck her head through the door.

"Hey. Hi, Steve. Thanks." She nodded her head at him sheepishly.

"Uh, yeah. So, I'm going to call Dr. Calder. I think HG may need follow up x-rays. Make sure everything is where it's supposed to be."

"Yeah." She never took her eyes off of Helena. "Thanks. That's a good idea."

"Okay. Well, I'll leave you two alone."

He didn't even think they heard him as he left.

He came back five minutes later to find them standing in the middle of the room holding each other. "Ahem," he started uncomfortably. "Vanessa said she's on her way and she'd see you tomorrow morning at eight o'clock, unless the pain gets really bad and then just go to the hospital. I'll drive, so just wake me."

Myka lifted her head giving him a grateful smile before nodding her thanks and resuming her stance in the middle of the room.

 


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

Myka opened her eyes at the approaching footsteps. The day was overcast, but warm. There was nothing to search for through the gaps of the branches beyond the white and grey background. She slumped further down the side of the maple leaving just her throbbing head leaning against the foot of the tree.

"A little bird told me I might find you out here. Okay if I sit down?" Abigail asked softly.

Myka wiggled over to make room. "That little bird wouldn't happen to be about 5' 7" with red hair would it?"

"That would be a very likely possibility." Abigail laughed. "She's smart. I bet it gets her into a lot of trouble."

"Oh, that it does, but it's gotten her out of a lot of trouble too. I guess you could say it comes with the territory." Myka sat up, bringing her legs up and wrapping her arms around them.

"I picked up on that one pretty quickly. I spoke to Vanessa. She said everything seemed to still be in place and no real harm done."

"Yeah. Guess we were lucky. Just some soft tissue damage. She'll be taking it easy with PT and we've had the required scripts written for us both. Vanessa plans to hang around for a few days. At least it gives her some time with Artie."

"How was the rest of your night?"

"Restless. Quiet. Awkward. I don't think either of us slept very well. I have a horrible headache. Sorry I didn't come to your thing."

"I didn't expect you to. I'm actually kind of glad you didn't. I don't think you're ready and it gave everyone else space to not worry about you two." Abigail started picking at the grass while she talked. "I can tell you the one thing I got out of it is that they all love you both very much. I've been involved with groups of people and families and all you sense is anger and hate, but never have I experienced so much love and caring for each other. This is a very special place." She looked out into the garden watching a bird jump from one branch to another. "Is that an oriole?"

"Probably." Myka rested her chin on her knees looking in the same direction to catch sight of the bird. "Yeah, it's an orchard oriole. It hangs around here a lot. It likes the back of Leena's in the mornings and then comes out here in the afternoons."

"You come out here a lot, don't you?" Abigail leaned back against the tree, crossing her arms, but still watching the bird's journey. "I can see why."

Myka smiled. "Yup. Always have. Even in the winter."

"HG, too?"

"Always. I guess it's our thoughtful spot. Kind of like Pooh Bear."

_'Winnie always sat at his thoughtful spot when he wanted to have thoughts._

_Why he wanted to have thoughts, he had never thought about._

_So, that was what he thought about now._

_He thought, and thought, and thought but no thought came into his mind._

_"Oh bother," he said_

_"Why can't I have a thought today?'"_

Abigail laughed. "Do you like Winnie the Pooh?"

Myka smiled. "Pooh is more of a Claudia thing. I'm a  _Little Prince_  person."

"Ah, yes. 'It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.'"

Myka turned her head to look at Abigail, still resting it on her knees. "'I did not know how to reach him, how to catch up with him...The land of tears is so mysterious.'"

"Is that how you feel, Myka? You don't know how to reach her? You don't know how to reach yourself either, do you?" Abigail continued to watch the oriole, sitting in silence until the bird flew away. She lay down on the ground closing her eyes. She opened them again at the first sound of a deep sniff to find Myka crying with her forehead resting on her knees. "The land of tears is a mysterious place. Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to, but I'm right here now and this is a really good thoughtful spot."

Myka nodded into her knees, body shaking.

Abigail pulled out a packet of tissues. "Here. I brought these just in case. I've got another packet too. Where do you want to start?"

* * *

"Check." Helena smiled at the redhead sitting on the floor across from her.

"No way!" Claudia stared at the board.

"I'll have your king in four moves. Do you want to play it out or shall I show you?"

"Oh man, I give up." She pouted on the floor, leaning back on her hands.

"No, you don't. You said you wanted me to teach you how to beat me. Your first mistake was taking my rook. You should have left that and moved your pawn to set up that rook to take my knight. Let's finish it out and you can set it up again. Try to work around it and back yourself out a bit."

Claudia did her best to try to alter the results, but Helena was right and called checkmate in the four moves. Claudia started to set the board up again.

"Hey, how come you always get to be white?" Claudia whined.

"You know very well why I get white, you just have not thought it through. Regardless, the first horse out of the gate rarely wins the race. Remember that. Let me coach you through this game and we will call it a day. I did not sleep well last night, my shoulder still hurts and I'm getting tired."

"Is it really all about the queen?" Claudia half-cocked her head looking up as her mentor placed the last pawn.

"Yes, Claudia, it really is. You should know me well enough by now to know that I have very few material objects that hold any sentimental value to me." She caressed the marble board between them.

"It was the first gift, shall we say, that Myka ever gave me," Helena said quietly admiring the chess piece, examining the intricate carving of wood, stylistically different from the original pieces.

"Do you remember what that argument was about?" She quickly reset the queen in its place looking across the table at Claudia.

"Not really. You guys have always had pretty hot arguments. They all start to blend together. I was just happy to get out of the line of fire."

"We were arguing over the Regents. Yes, even back then. I, for obvious reasons at the time, despite their gracious reinstatement. I suggested that we were nothing more than chess pieces. The board was available for retaliation. When it shattered against the wall, I took it personally and equated it as our fragile friendship, or whatever it was at the time, shattering as well. We didn't speak for a number of days. The marble board represented something more solid, my anchor in a way, to Myka. From that point forward I knew she was what kept me grounded, if only for moments at a time. If it were to fly and shatter as well, then we would both hurt from that action. It is still in one piece. Our bond was as valid then as it is now. Perhaps not as strong, but growing stronger as time went by and I hope only continues to do so. We still ended up hurting each other."

"So is it just sentimental or is it the freak thing?"

"It's both. Your move." Claudia had completely missed Helena's opening move. "And do pay closer attention to your knights this time."

Helena continued to guide Claudia through the game, correcting weak moves and allowing the young woman to consider alternative moves. At mid-game Myka walked in stopping short as she walked through the door.

"What are you doing?" Myka looked tired.

"Playing chess," Claudia announced proudly.

"For how long?" Myka inquired, perplexed by this new development.

"Since you left this morning after breakfast." She made her next move in silence, HG looking up at Myka.

"Uh, something wrong with chess? I thought we were going to keep her mind busy. I'm learning a lot," Claudia continued, oblivious of the growing tension in the room.

"Claudia, would you please excuse us? I'll leave the pieces as is - I hope."

Helena nodded at the woman on the floor silently encouraging the request. Claudia looked from one to the other suddenly feeling the chill creeping into the room.

"Uh, okay. Just nobody throw the board, please."

Myka touched Claudia on the shoulder as she passed on her way to the door. "I'd never do anything to harm that board, Claud." Myka's eyes followed her out until the door latched carefully behind her.

She walked slowly over to the coffee table picking up the white queen, rolling it around in her hand, enjoying the feel of the smooth wood before setting it back down in its former position.

Myka continued to look at the board, trying to play the present game out in her own head. "Has she won, yet?" Myka looked down at Helena, unable to make sense of the present battle playing out on the board. Chess was never a game she had great aptitude for, but she enjoyed being beaten by Helena just for the pure pleasure of watching her mind at work. Artie was not exaggerating when he said it was like watching a ballet.

"Of course not," Helena scoffed.

"There's that ego again." Myka smiled wryly, shaking her head. "I remember a time when you were afraid you'd never win again. You were afraid of the rules. How long?"

"I'm sorry?" She was honestly perplexed by the question.

"How long have you two been playing? Do you play every day?" Myka clarified getting frustrated.

"Most days for some time now," Helena sighed, leaning back into the sofa staring up at her partner.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't not tell you." Helena tried to brush the accusation away.

"Semantics. Why didn't you say anything, Helena? I tried so hard to get you to play. Nightmares?"

"You know very well the status of my nightmares as I do yours. Is there ever a night that neither of us, or both of us, does not have one anymore?"

They were getting very little sleep between the two of them. Most nights Helena found herself trying not to fall asleep to avoid her own nightmares now or anticipating one of Myka's. She knew Myka did the same, hearing her wander the house, some nights ending up in the kitchen drinking coffee, waiting for the inevitable.

"Do you still have nightmares about the chess lock, Helena?" Myka asked simply.

"I always will, Myka. Your life was in my hands that day. You can't appreciate that." Helena shook her head at her, frowning.

Myka started to laugh coldly, crossing the room to lean back against the desk. "Really? Do you really think that? What do you call it when you are held captive god knows where and I'm sitting back here trying desperately to find you with nothing to go on but guesses and suppositions? Knowing that you were already injured and taking a stab in the dark with one chance to find you when I could feel you weakening. Not knowing if I would get there in time. Not knowing what I would find or what had been done to you. You call that not having your life in my hands? We all had your life in our hands. You are not an artifact. You are Helena. You are someone we love and we were scared to death that we wouldn't find you in time. I was terrified I'd never see you again. Just like before and like every other time you were sent out for however long it took you to do whatever the hell you were doing!"

"I never wanted to go! I never wanted to leave you like that!" Helena stood up and made her way to Myka in three quick strides. "I didn't think I had a choice! I thought it was the only way I could be with you. You, Myka. No one else. Just you!"

"Doing what?" Myka pleaded.

Helena went to the bed sitting on the edge. She closed her eyes, mind and body defeated.

"I think you have a fairly good idea by now of what I was doing," she whispered. "It's just chess, Myka."

"Yes, it is just chess. A game you refused to play not so long ago in part because of me. Why not share that Claudia got through to you? I'd have been, I am, thrilled she succeeded where I failed. But not telling me makes me wonder what else are you not telling me?" She reached out to touch the face she found herself in front of.

Helena quickly jumped, shrinking back from the hand closing in on her, panic-stricken. "NO!"

Myka drew back surprised and suddenly frightened at the sight of the cowering, trembling figure on the bed drawing further away from her.

"Helena?" She received no response only to witness the beginnings of severe hyperventilation. Quickly she ran to the door throwing it open to slam heavily against the wall.

"Vanessa!"

Vanessa and Abigail almost collided at the door as Myka slid to the floor to her hands and knees retching.

"I've got Helena, you take care of Myka." Vanessa shut the door behind her.

Abigail grabbed Myka, now in tears and starting to panic herself. "Myka stay with me. She's just having a panic attack. You don't need to join her. Come on." The deceptively strong, slight woman pulled Myka up and into the kitchen where Claudia stood by the fridge, frozen.

"Claudia," Abigail started.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I haven't done this enough already. I'm still not cleaning up puke. Pete's good at that."

* * *

Vanessa found Myka back in her old bedroom and entered without preamble sitting in the side chair.

"Myka, she's going to be okay. Just a panic attack, but I think you already know that. Steve is on his way back with all of everyone's new prescriptions, yours included. I've already given her a dose of Ativan and she's responding nicely. Abigail is with her and I think she's actually starting to talk. Do you have any idea what triggered it?"

Myka sat up in the bed clutching a pillow to her stomach. "We were arguing. Big surprise. It started with the damn chess board. I didn't know Claudia had gotten her to play after all this time. She stopped playing after the chess lock. I was never able to get her to play, but Claudia apparently got through to her. I guess I was jealous, maybe. She said I didn't know what it was like to have my life in her hands. Well, we know that's not true, and she certainly knows now, no thanks to me. I'm not really sure what happened after that. I don't really remember. She just...gave up. I went to touch her and she just freaked out. That's when I called you."

"It's not you, Myka. Remember that. She is reacting to stimulus that we have no knowledge of, and so are you." Vanessa sat next to her taking her in her arms, letting her cry out her frustration and pain. "I know it's been a rough few days. Abigail said you had a good talk this morning. I'm glad. No one ever believes me when I say it's a long, rough ride. They all have to find out the hard way. Just keep going with it. We're going to get you through this."

"I'm afraid to touch her, Vanessa. She jumps. All I want to do is hold her. She always felt safe with me. Now it seems like she's afraid of me." Myka grabbed the tissues Pete had left and blew her nose.

"She's not afraid of you. She's just afraid. She isn't necessarily seeing you, but someone else. She hasn't told you anything yet, has she?" Vanessa wiped Myka's nose with a tissue, chuckling. "You really are my kids sometimes. This has got to be the strangest patient/doctor relationship I've ever had. I don't know what it is about you two."

"I know it's going to take time. I know that. It's just really not easy."

"Did you expect it to be?"

"No. Nothing has ever been easy with us." Myka rested her head on the woman's shoulder.

"I don't know that I'd say that. Loving each other seemed to come pretty easily, once we all got your heads out of the sand. Not to mention some other things I understand."

Myka chuckled. "Well, that's sort of been put on hold for the moment."

Vanessa gave her a quick squeeze before releasing her. "Ah, but just think how sweet that first taste will be."

Myka snorted.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." Vanessa blushed for the first time in Myka's memory. "And not to put a damper on it, but expect that to have its own set of difficulties. No, really, Myka, intimacy is often very difficult. You're already afraid to touch her. Multiply that intensity by ten, well maybe twenty for you two. You'll need to rebuild your trust in each other again. Go slow and don't have high expectations. Okay? You're not going to pick up where you left off."

Myka nodded. "Try to explain that to her."

Vanessa laughed pulling Myka up out of the bed. "I can't even begin to think how. Let's go for a walk. I need fresh air."

 


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

Days and nights went by blending into one mass of the same. The group sessions made great strides with the team. Despite the intense work with Abigail, Myka and Helena dragged themselves through each day struggling to find a balance between their mercurial moods. Pete was cleared for field work and found the time away from the warehouse a welcome relief. Myka remained at the warehouse, feeling guilty by staying behind, and bringing files for Helena to immerse herself into when she wasn't busily engrossed in her workbook. No mention was made about the chess set which was now a permanent fixture on the coffee table often in the middle of a different game.

Fall approached bringing with it longer nights for the two women to fight their demons in the dark. Myka twitched in her sleep as Helena watched, anticipating yet another nightmare. Myka slowly opened her eyes to look sleepily into dark, sleepless ones.

"Watching me sleep again, aren't you?" Myka yawned, stretching out the stiffness of her limbs and back. "Ugh. I miss our big bed."

"Just enjoying the scenery." Helena smiled. Slowly, she reached out her hand stroking her fingers across Myka's cheek. Myka lay on her side motionless in reaction to the unexpected gesture. She closed her eyes, sighing at the long forgotten contact.

"No nightmares?" Helena whispered.

Myka cleared her throat of sleep, carefully taking the hand from her face, kissing the cold fingers. "No nightmares," she whispered back. She wrapped the hand in her own, warming the cold digits. Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she perched herself up, staring down at Helena. "You're on your left side."

"So it appears. How else am I to gaze at you in the moonlight from my side of the bed?"

"It doesn't hurt?" Myka frowned concerned.

"It's tolerable." Helena smiled, reclaiming her hand and reaching out towards Myka, diligently unbuttoning the first two buttons of her top.

"Helena, what are you doing?" Myka asked, her stomach unexpectedly dropping.

"What does it look like I am doing? I miss sleeping naked next to you in our big bed. I want to touch you. May I?" Helena stopped her hand in the air, before reaching the next button.

"I thought we weren't doing that yet."

"Ah, no." Helena dropped her hand. "You misunderstand me. I would be lying if I said I do not want to make love with you. Although I am sure I would not be in any danger of causing myself physical harm at this point, I am not willing to risk that amount of pain again in the pursuit of discovering new pleasures. I simply miss touching you, Myka. I just want to touch you."

"And you think you can do that?" Myka looked at her doubtfully. "I'm not sure I can." She chuckled.

Helena carefully sat up and removed her own top before lying down again. "I'd certainly like to try. I need to feel your touch, Myka. I miss us just touching each other. Remember all those evenings on the sofa? Can we not just lay here and enjoy touching? We have managed it before, you know."

Myka would have laughed if not for the sadness in the dark eyes looking upon her. Swallowing hard, she reached a shaking hand out to trace a finger across Helena's forehead, down the side of her face and neck to her collarbone, hesitating at the incision site.

Helena covered the shaking hand with her own. "Myka, it's okay. Please. I don't want you to be afraid of simply touching me." Continuing to sense the hesitation, Helena took Myka's hand and brought it back up to her face. "If nothing else, will you please just hold me?" she pleaded.

Myka sat up, pulling her shirt off. "Can we start with holding for now?"

Helena smiled, briefly touching the face in such consternation, before rolling onto her side and wiggling back into Myka's warmth. Myka automatically wrapped her arm firmly around the welcoming presence.

Myka settled in behind her, breathing in her scent before placing a soft kiss on the back of the exposed neck before her.

"Myka, if you do not feel comfortable in our touching each other yet, I highly recommend you leave the back of my neck alone. You know what that does to me." She felt the smile against her bare shoulder.

"I know," Myka breathed out in frustration, nuzzling closer to the object of discussion. "It's just so damn delicious!"

Helena shivered at the warm breath on her neck. "My point exactly. I have no doubt of the trouble we would get ourselves into. Now, go to sleep."

"Not bloody likely," Myka mumbled into her neck with a long, heavy sigh.

Helena snickered, hugging the arm closer.

* * *

Myka knocked on the door before entering the office. Helena looked up from whatever she had diligently been working on the past few days. She cocked her head to one side and frowned, confused. "Why are you knocking on the door?" she asked.

Myka shrugged walking towards the desk. "I'm not sure. It just felt weird walking in on you while you were working."

"Why? It's never stopped you before." Helena looked down at the page and made a few more notes. "Sit with me?" she asked, not lifting her head and frowning at the page.

"I could, but I thought maybe we could go over to the cottage for awhile." She ran her finger across the desk, suddenly unsure of herself.

"Whatever for?" Helena stopped writing and looked up at her, squinting at her with curiosity.

"Don't you even want to spend your afternoons at the cottage? It's our space. You've holed yourself up in this office, Helena. What happens when you can actually manage the stairs? You're pretty much there. Are you moving back or hiding yourself away in here?"

"I'm not hiding. I just don't see the point in going over there until we are ready to stay. That is home. This is temporary. I want home to BE home, not a place to visit just to have to sleep somewhere else."

"How is that different from what we were already doing? It's just backwards now. We slept there and ate and socialized here."

Helena leaned forward supporting her stiffening body with a deep sigh. "Myka, home is where I sleep with you and everything else that entails."

"I can't believe you. Are you seriously implying this has to do with sex?" Myka leaned on the desk in front of her face.

Helena quickly backed away, straightening herself in the chair, clenching her teeth at the resulting pain. "Absolutely not! You misunderstand me. Sex has nothing to do with this. It is the routine, the quiet time, the 'us' time. Home is where we eat, where we sleep, where we argue, and yes, where we make love. It is everything that happens surrounded by four walls all convoluted into one unit. Am I really having that much difficulty in putting this into intelligible words?"

"Myka, to spend my days in our home would just be a reminder of one more thing that has been taken away from me, even if it is temporary. Before this predicament, we had the choice of where we would eat. We ate here because we wanted to. Well, we also couldn't very well feed ourselves in the beginning, to be honest." She leaned back in the chair with a defeated sigh.

"Don't you see? Before any of this happened we were already separating ourselves from here. We spent more time there with each other than we did here with the rest of the team. When was the last time we ate here when both of us were home? Why do you think I wanted to learn to cook? I wanted to be with you, not everyone else."

"Why did we start reading one book to each other every night? I can't even remember the last movie we watched all together here before I forced us into this room. We spent our evenings enjoying each other. Really, if you truly think about it, we spent very little time here at all. To be honest, I'd started to find our place a little cramped for just the two of us considering the amount of time we spent there."

"I don't want to be teased by home when I cannot yet call it home. Myka, this house stopped being home a long time ago." She leaned onto the desk, sad eyes staring up at Myka.

"I know." Myka closed her eyes, running her hand through her hair, grabbing a handful and pulling her head back before letting it go. "I know. That's been going through my head, too. Even Claudia isn't pestering us anymore. She actually calls first now." Myka smiled at the thought.

"Can we at least go out to the garden?" Myka pleaded. "You need to get out of this building, and I really need to be with you. Just you. We haven't been together alone since you last left, Helena. I almost didn't get you back, damn it!" She stopped to collect herself and continued softly, "I miss you."

Dropping the pencil in her hand, Helena raised her right hand from the desk, dropping her forehead into its embrace. She spoke into the desk so softly Myka could barely hear her. "No one knows better than I, Myka, that you almost didn't get me back; it was me that was beaten, it was me that spent days in the dark constantly thirsty and hungry, it was me that heard my collarbone break falling on the ground trying to protect my already broken ribs. It was me that struggled to breathe, begging to pass out into oblivion if only for an hour. It was me that watched a lead pipe crush my hand." She looked straight into the wide green eyes, voice rising as she continued, pounding on the desk with each emphatic statement. "It was me, Myka! I was the one that recited  _The Little Prince_  in the dark silence every night so that I could still feel you with me. I still felt you in my heart, damn it! Me, Myka. Me. I had my jaw broken by a fist the first night in that space! It was me that wondered every bloody minute, in excruciating pain, if I was holding on to you for nothing. Me, Myka. It was me! ME! NOT YOU. IT. WAS. ME!"

Abigail ran to the office when she heard the shouting start. She remained in the doorway, allowing the scene to play out, close at hand.

Helena slammed her head on the desk as Myka stood frozen in place, silent tears streaming down her face. Helena continued her rage through sobs, banging her head. "I was the one that was used by the Regents, the one threatened to lose the one thing I loved most, the author that no longer exists. I am the one that is afraid of the dark once again. I am the one that is afraid to walk out that door. I am the one that blanks out and jumps when you touch me." She looked at the ceiling momentarily, taking a gasping breath between sobs. "You are afraid of losing me. I am afraid of being lost. It was me, Myka. It was me. Me." Her voice had faded to a whisper.

Myka walked around the desk as Helena continued to sob. Carefully and slowly, she ran her hand through Helena's hair, pulling it back as she slipped her other hand under her forehead, pushing it back at the same time. She released a breath of air in relief that the puddle of human flesh in the chair didn't jump at her touch. She kneeled on the floor catching Helena as she crumpled into her, forehead landing on her shoulder. Her strong arms wrapped themselves around the tortured soul encasing it in a protective shield, her own body shaking now with tears and pain.

"I've done this once already, Myka. Come back from the dark. I don't think I can do it again. I am tired of being used. I'm tired. So very, very tired. And I am lost."

Myka brought a hand up to caress the dark head, stroking it calmly. "Shhh. You're not lost. I found you the first time. I'm not letting go of you the second time." She swallowed hard. "You're never lost when I'm right here." Myka finally choked out between her own sobs.

Claudia ran up beside Abigail, hearing the commotion as she entered the house. Abigail grabbed her just in time before she barged into the room.

"What's going on? What happened?" Claudia demanded.

Abigail turned her around and led her away from the room, pulling the door closed behind her. "It's called a breakthrough."

* * *

Myka lay on her back staring at the ceiling. Her head was still throbbing and her sinuses were full, but she couldn't reach the tissues. Helena was sound asleep, exhausted from the emotional release she'd finally succumbed to. For the first time since she had left months earlier, Helena completely relinquished herself, body and soul into the security of Myka's protective enclosure. Sighing in her sleep, Helena stretched her limbs around the longer body pulling it closer and buried her head deeper into Myka's shoulder. The warm moist air on Myka's neck, long absent, was once again a constant comfort.

Myka closed her eyes willing the headache to go away and concentrated on matching her own breaths with the soft exhalations against her neck. Helena wasn't the only one tired, she thought. Again, she asked herself, what now? Helena's recuperation was the priority. Everything was cleared as healed for the most part aside from her hand and her mind. With any luck they'd be back in the cottage by the end of the week. Myka knew Helena was being surprisingly conservative with going up and down the stairs. But what then?

Artie was itching to send her out with Pete, but she was resisting. It wasn't fair to her team members and she was feeling guilty. She'd tell Artie tomorrow she was ready. Helena and Abigail had connected at last, so she wasn't concerned to leave her alone. Abigail had left them alone after Helena's breakdown, allowing them the space to reconnect. She had only checked in with them once. They would have a place to start tomorrow. The three of them had a place to start again.

She was anxious to get out of the main house and finally be independent in their space, alone. Helena had made a good point though, that the cottage had started feeling small. That was so long ago, though. Maybe they were remembering things differently. They'd have to figure it out when they got there. They just needed to be on their own again. Alone.

"I can feel you thinking." Myka felt more than heard the words mumbled into her neck.

Helena pushed herself up slightly, moving her head onto Myka's chest, listening to the steadiness of the heart beneath her. Myka shifted her off gently, sitting up.

"Thank God you're awake. I really need to blow my nose," Myka said stuffy, grabbing the tissues beside the bed.

Helena started laughing into the pillow as Myka cleared her sinuses of the offensive substance. "What is so funny?"

Still laughing, Helena turned onto her back. "I don't know. I have a breakdown, we end up here exhausted and now the only thing concerning you is your snot. I'm sorry. I find that outrageously amusing!"

Myka looked down at her laughing partner before finding the irony of the situation and laughing herself. Without thinking, she rolled over onto Helena pinning her down and leaning in to kiss her just before she saw the panic grow in her eyes. She immediately pushed herself back up.

"Helena, are you okay? I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking"

Myka felt her neck pulled down as her mouth was possessed by a greedy, long withheld Helena, anxious for every drop she could taste. Unable to breathe any longer, Myka pushed herself up grabbing more tissues. "Helena, I can't breathe. My nose is still stuffed up."

She leaned up against the headboard blowing her nose clear. "You scared me. I thought……"

"You thought I was going to have a panic attack. I know. So did I."

"What changed?" Myka looked down at the head moving into her lap. Her hand crept under the tee shirt tracing undiscovered patterns on the warm, moist back.

"I don't know. I started to talk myself out of it. Then, all I could think was I hadn't really tasted you since I left and that seemed so long ago I couldn't wait anymore."

"I think we really need to slow down," Myka almost cried.

"I agree, but I am enjoying this very much. Please don't stop." Helena lifted her head, eyes pleading.

Myka wiggled back down under the covers, pulling Helena back against her, hand continuing its travels.

"What were you thinking?" Helena's voice reverberated in Myka's chest.

"I want what's best for us and I don't know what that is. I feel cooped up and I need to go back out there, but I really don't know if I want to. It's my job. That's why we're here."

"Is it?" Helena asked weakly.

"Is it what?"

"Why are we here? Perhaps we were here for some other reason. What if that reason has been fulfilled?"

"What are you saying, Helena? You've always belonged here."

"I'm not sure. I have not worked it out quite yet. Something nags at me. I wonder if my reason for being here is done."

"Do you want to leave?" Myka's hand stopped, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know. Do you? I've never had anything besides the warehouse, other than Christina. But now I have you." Helena resumed her earlier position, sprawling over Myka, releasing herself completely. "We have Abigail and we have time, Myka. Of that I am certain. We have time." She sighed into the body below her, falling asleep as the fingers on her back slowed, stopping at the small of her back, their owner asleep as well.

 


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

"Has anyone heard anything from them yet?" Abigail asked pouring her coffee and nodding towards the office door.

"Yeah, they're out on the porch. I think they've been up awhile. They were up before me and Myka already had the first coffee pot made."

Abigail looked towards the porch contemplating if she should interrupt. She knew she needed to check on them. She sipped her coffee reaching out for a croissant. Her face scrunched up and her mouth puckered just before spitting her coffee back into her cup. "Oh my god! Who made this swill?"

Claudia looked up from her cereal. "Oh, that would be Pete. He's not known for his coffee skills or at least its consistency. You want Myka's or mine."

"Hey! My coffee is just fine. If you think mine is bad try HG's."

"She's a tea drinker," Abigail mistakenly claimed.

Steve laughed. "Who happily drinks half of Myka's coffee every morning, if not more, and still thinks we don't notice. She just can't make coffee."

Claudia already started a new pot. "Yeah, she was banned. Myka won't even let her touch the pot. Personally, I try to keep her a safe five feet away from it. At least Pete can brew up something drinkable half the time."

"Well, not this morning. Can we at least make a 'Pete coffee' warning sign?"

"Hey, I like that. Why didn't you think of that one, Claud? You're the genius." Steve turned to her.

"Here." She handed Abigail another cup. "I think the real genius here is HG. I'm the Jr. Genius." Claudia smiled.

"Ahhhhh." She closed her eyes in bliss. "Okay, Jr., this is great coffee. Sorry, Pete." She patted his shoulder on her way out the door.

* * *

The two women picked up their heads, having leaned them back against the swing as they swung back and forth.

"Wow. It's really nice out here today. It's been hit or miss with the cool weather coming on." Abigail leaned against the porch rail enjoying the much improved brew in her hand. "Okay if I join you?"

They had expected a visit first thing this morning, even though the plan had been to meet after Helena's PT. They looked at each other before nodding.

"I know you know this was not an accidental thing, though I admit, I wouldn't have wanted to miss this morning on the porch. And, can I just say, Pete makes horrible coffee and where do these magical croissants come from?" She took another bite.

Myka snorted as she took a side-glance at Helena, then pointed at her. "Not as bad as this one. It can melt a spoon. We swore the coffee maker would turn into an artifact after that."

"You are exaggerating. It was hardly that bad. Certainly not as bad as your tea before I taught you how to make it properly," Helena responded indignantly.

"Honey, I tried to teach you how to make coffee. It's not that hard. I'm surprised the coffee maker hasn't sprouted legs and runs away when it sees you coming. What is it Claudia said...a five foot radius?"

"Fine, so I can't make coffee. I can, however, make a lovely duck dinner and Steve is teaching me to make his burritos," she declared brightly. "If it weren't for me, we'd have the most wretched cognac in the house."

"Sweetie, I think you're the only one that has any interest in cognac. I only drink it when you put it in my milk at night so I doubt I'd notice the difference. You're the one that drinks it straight up."

"Do you two always do this?" Abigail asked.

"Do what?" Myka asked confused.

"What you're doing now; bantering back and forth."

"We most certainly do no such thing," Helena scolded the new arrival.

"Yes, we do, to both of you," Myka answered, mock glaring at Helena. "Always have. Why?"

"It's nice. You seem at ease and it's kind of funny." Abigail pushed herself up onto the rail.

"It annoys Pete. Want some more coffee?" Myka asked getting up, causing the swing to momentarily swing off kilter without her weight.

"Only if it's not Pete's. Two sugars please and..."

"A dash of cream. I know," Myka said on her way in through the door.

Helena shrugged. "Powers of observation."

Abigail nodded. "How are you doing this morning and how is your head? Forehead looks a little bruised. I don't recommend that by the way, for future reference."

"I took some ibuprofen. It's better. She's the one with the snot."

"And you?" Abigail probed.

Helena shrugged again. "I'm not entirely sure I have an answer to that question."

"Fair enough. It's good to see you outside. I haven't pushed the issue, but you need to get out of the house. Go to the garden today with Myka. Or...alone. She's right you know. You are holing yourself up in the office. I know you're working on something and I know she brought some files over to you that you've been focused on, but it's time to work on the files at the warehouse. Not here. There is no physical reason for you to stay here to work. If you get tired, you come back. You still get fatigued and that's understandable, but you need to get through that door. I know you're afraid and I would be too. That first time is going to be hell. Either with someone, even me, or by yourself. It's your choice. At least try. I'll be here for the morning."

"I'm not holing myself up."

"Yes, you are," Myka stated from the door before handing over Abigail's coffee and offering another croissant from a plate. "And I think you are avoiding the cottage for some reason. I don't even think you know what it is. I know I had a hard time going in there at first. I don't know why, but I did. It's my house. It's still hard, because we aren't there. You're not there. It's just this cold space I spend without you in fear."

Myka sat back on the swing, passing Helena her coffee. "I don't like coffee."

Myka smiled, shaking her head. "Right, that's why you drink most of mine first before I get a second sip. Just get it over with so I can enjoy what's left. At least I admit I like your bloody tea."

"You really need to work on your delivery, darling." Helena smiled drinking the coffee. "Claudia does make very good coffee."

"You two really are very funny. No wonder Vanessa likes you so much. She's the reason I'm here, you know. I didn't want to come. It took a lot of convincing on her part, but I'm really glad I said yes. I can't imagine being anywhere else now. Professionally, she can't admit it, but you're a part of her family too, and I didn't just say that." Abigail looked over both of her shoulders in mock conspiracy.

"We know. She keeps complaining we're like her kids. I think it makes it harder for her sometimes. I know this certainly did. She was very upset when I kept sneaking out of her house to stay at the hospital."

Abigail nodded. "She cares a great deal." Abigail sat absorbed in her own thoughts, drinking her coffee. Shaking her head clear, she looked at the two women. "So, out of the house? I can come if you want."

Myka looked at the silent Helena. "Maybe that would be a good idea. We'll try."

"I think that 'thoughtful spot' of yours might be a good destination. It's a comfortable place for you both, and it's obviously going to be a beautiful day. Remember, yesterday was...yesterday. Today is today. I'll see you later." Abigail headed inside.

"Helena, we need to do this." Myka took a deep breath.

Myka could barely hear her as she got up to take a shower. "I know. I'm tired of struggling to live a normal life."

Myka roared with laughter, getting up to follow her in. "Helena, you have never lived a normal life and never will. We can shower together. That's at least fun, again." She sobered as Helena paused at the door. She wrapped her arms around her and pulled her back close, resting her chin on her shoulder. "I know you're struggling. So am I. One day at a time. One hour at a time. Whatever it takes us to get through."

Helena quickly nodded her head before disengaging herself to head to the shower.

* * *

Abigail accompanied them on the walk out to the garden, commenting on the changes occurring with the setting in of fall. They'd worked through two small panic attacks before arriving at their destination. Myka was the first to take her place against the colorful maple, lightly tugging Helena by her weak left hand to sit beside her.

"I'm just going to go wander around. Take your time." Abigail walked off, inhaling the scents of the day surrounding her.

Helena exhaled a shaky breath and rested her head against Myka's shoulder, closing her eyes. Myka held her hand sitting in silence and exhaled her own shaky breath. It had been a challenging trip, but they had made it to their destination, at least for today. Every day meant progress.

Despite the nice weather, it was quiet. Most of the migratory birds had moved on, leaving the garden for the forthcoming silence of winter. Occasionally, a crow would announce its presence, laughing from the top of the trees.

"I'm sorry," Helena finally said, breaking the quiet.

"For what?" Myka asked, mystified by the rare apology. "You have nothing to be sorry about."

"For making this so difficult. For getting us in this mess in the first place. I've become so impotent. I can't even walk out the door without someone holding my hand." Helena slid to the ground, placing her head in Myka's lap. Unconsciously, Myka took up her habit of running her fingers through the dark hair spread in her lap.

"I'd say you are far from impotent. Only a coward would refuse to make the attempt at facing their fears. You have nothing to be sorry about. Besides, I kind of like holding your hand. I wish you'd ask me to do it more often. It's not a sign of weakness, Helena, it's an admission of trust. I think it takes a far stronger person to admit they are in need of help and comfort instead of sitting and try to solve everything on their own in misery." She started to stroke the arm lying haphazardly across Helena's stomach, circling the scar on her forearm. "Can you tell me about this?"

Helena raised her head slightly to examine the prominent scar in question. She let out another shaky breath before laying her head back down. "It was stupid of me, actually. I was already deeply in trouble and being watched. I'd made my……abilities already known and needed to make a quick exit from my present accommodations, as lovely as they were, and literally crawled out the back window into an alley. My foot got caught in the fence I was scaling and when it gave way, I lost my grip and caught my arm on the top of the wire fence. I didn't even realize it had happened until I made it down two more alleys into a hovel with a homeless man. I'll never forget his face. He pointed out the warm blood streaming down my arm. He took care of me and kept me well hidden for two days. He was the one able to get word through and got me into the hospital when Vanessa arrived. One of the nurses there watches out for him, apparently. Two days later, I missed the second check point."

Myka sat listening to the distant, detached voice, unable to imagine the experience. "Wait a minute. You saw Vanessa between the two check points you missed?" Myka's hand stopped. She was completely confused.

"Yes. I knew by seeking treatment that they would be close behind me. They knew I was injured. They'd most likely be watching the hospitals. I knew where their base camp was. I'd already been there once, holding up my part of the Regents' bargain. She took a great deal of risk in coming, but it was safer than just walking in for treatment. It was a deep laceration and needed medical treatment. Infection was already setting in and it required debridement. I knew I'd be able to get some sort of communication through, as well. She has been a silent and often anonymous liaison too many times for my comfort. Why do you ask?"

"All we were told was that you had missed the last two check points and extraction was not an option. They had no intention of even trying to find you. That's when we took things into our own hands. I was frantic, Helena, trying to find any clue. We had nothing to go on until we got the note with the hospital's GPS coordinates and your quotes. They never said Vanessa saw you. We didn't even know until later she was responsible for the information."

"They may not have known, or more likely did not care. I was expendable in their minds at that point. I'd essentially botched the exit and was known. Agents don't last long doing that kind of work when they are compromised. I'd already tracked the artifact and had it sent on its way. To where, I don't even know. Often it was passed off to a select few who handled it from there. How, I never knew, nor wanted to know. My 'friends' didn't know it had already left my possession. I didn't even know what the damn thing's attributes were. I rarely did."

"You did this all the time, just for me." A tear trailed its way down Myka's cheek.

Helena reached up to touch Myka's face, wiping the tear away. "No, I did it for us. I was happier trying to stay alive and have 'us' than just give my life up completely to the Regents again. More accurately, give it up altogether. I wanted 'us', not death. I needed you most of all."

"Aside from perilous escapes, what did that include?" Myka asked hesitantly.

"I think you have a fairly good idea what that included. You know my less than honorable skills," Helena whispered, frowning.

"I need to hear you say it, Helena. I don't know why, I just do."

"I don't know that I can." She closed her eyes tight, fighting to hold the tears back behind her lids to no avail.

Struggling with her own emotions, Myka lay down beside Helena on her side to envelop the tormented woman. "I think saying it out loud will help you release it. I've learned that from Abigail, and I think you have too. You never have to say it again if you don't want to. I promised I wouldn't let you go and I'm holding on with everything I have."

Silent tears fell unheeded into the dry ground beneath them, leaving dark spots behind to evaporate. "Myka, I never wanted to do it. For months I have killed at least eight men, tortured many more, leaving many behind, most likely to die from the injuries they sustained. I deserved to die in that hole, Myka. I deserved it. I ultimately had the choice, didn't I? I was instructed to do whatever was necessary as quickly as possible to attain a successful retrieval in the shortest and most covert way possible for the greater good. I don't even know if the artifacts were demanding of such tactics. Is anything really worthy of such tactics? Never again, Myka. Never again."

"No one deserves to be treated like that, including you. You were being treated the same way, emotionally and mentally, by those Regents. I still love you, and so does everyone else." Helena rolled into Myka's arms, crying at the memories and faces of every one of her victims until she had no more tears. Abigail sat on the other side of the maple, behind the bushes, silently crying for the pain and suffering of one woman.

They walked back later to the house in silence, Abigail hanging behind. Helena needed to be back in time for PT. Helena watched the ground in front of her in her own thoughts.

"Myka, would you hold my hand?" She held out her hand.

Taking the proffered weak hand, Myka gave a tender squeeze holding it in her own. "Always."


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."  
-Khalil Gibran

* * *

Claudia got up from the table to pour a second cup of coffee before Artie could find out when Myka came scurrying in.

"Where is she?" She demanded, frantically.

"On her way to the cottage I think. She just came through mumbling something about not seeing any reason to wait any longer. Why? What's wrong?"

"Do I ever know exactly 'what'?!" Myka darted out the door. Claudia dropped the cup in her hand, it crashing into pieces across the tiled floor, when they heard the screaming.

Helena had already opened the door and took her first step when it hit her. She froze in the door frame, going blank. The darkness fell over her in a cold sweat. Falling backwards, she pushed herself to the furthest corner of the porch up against the railing, trapped. Myka flew up the stairs to the back of the porch, stopping in front of the frenzied kicking and indecipherable yelling directed at her.

Steve came flying out of the house, half-dressed and wet from his shower, Abigail close behind on his heels. Grasping her from behind through the rails, he held her, loosely holding her flailing arms back.

"Talk to her Myka. She needs to know where she is! She's nowhere near here!"

Myka came out of her own stupor and started talking to her from a distance away from the flailing legs. Abigail joined Myka in her attempt to bring Helena back to the present time as Claudia looked on in confusion, momentarily frozen.

Pete was the last to join the commotion, confused. Looking around the porch and the open door, he was the first to figure it out. "Claudia, shut the door now!"

Claudia slammed the door shut. "What? Why?"

"It's the trap door in the floor, Claudia. Your trap. It's the trap door in the floor on the other side of the door. Come on, we have work to do getting rid of it."

"Huh?" Claudia was still confused.

Pete stopped and stared at her. He spoke quietly, "Claudia, you weren't there. She was kept in the cabin under a trap door in the floor. We need to get rid of the trap door." Pete stomped off to change into clothes. They needed a trip to the hardware store.

* * *

Five days later they planned to spend their first night in the cottage. Pete, Steve and Claudia worked furiously to fill in the space on the other side of the door and lay down new flooring. They also redesigned the porch. Abigail, Myka and Helena worked gradually at overcoming the fear Helena associated with the previous knowledge of the trap door. No one made a big deal over the incident, just completing the tasks at hand.

Helena worked feverishly behind the locked doors of the office. At night there were no signs of what she'd been working on and her workbook remained well hidden when she wasn't behind the locked door. Myka didn't ask, accepting it as a part of the return of her Helena.

After dinner, Helena returned to the office to retrieve the last few items she'd had with her during the day.

"You sure you don't want to stay for a game?" Pete asked halfheartedly.

"No, Peter. We already have plans with a rather distinctive Merlot and a quiet night on the sofa. Sadly, away from all of you," Helena commented returning to the dining room. She dropped a roll of paper and a notebook in front of Claudia. "Here, darling. The rest is up to you. I'm not in a position to see it to its completion." Myka waited patiently for Helena to take her hand before walking over to the cottage.

"What is it?"

"Oh, just something to keep me occupied. The new and improved grappler, since someone found it necessary to lose the one I gave her, although I understand it was for a good cause." Helena winked at Pete.

Claudia opened up the notebook. "Wow. HG, this is amazing! When can we start?"

"You can start anytime you wish. My work is finished. I have other things to attend to. Now, if you'll excuse us." Helena turned quickly, pulling a surprised Myka behind her.

Claudia stared at the plans in awe. "Wow. Nothing old-fashioned about this sleek baby. Guys, you are not going to believe what this baby is going to do."

"Probably not, but I have a pretty good idea what  **they're**  going to do, so grab them while supplies last." Steve threw the box of ear plugs on the table.

"You can't be serious?" Abigail asked in wonder as they all fought over the orange foam objects.

Claudia threw a hand-full over to her. "Uh, yeah, really. You weren't here before. I'd take those babies if I were you, especially where your room is. These little orange things are priceless in this house. They really should have built that place further away. They've been working up to it." Steve looked at her funny. "Dude, the walls aren't that thick and the office it right below me! I know, okay? So, who's up for scrabble? No Myka or HG to contend with."

* * *

Claudia had been right in that they had been slowly exploring their comfort zone with their renewed intimacy. Myka took Vanessa's words very seriously and was surprised when Helena readily agreed that slowly exploring that side of their relationship with Abigail's guidance was an appropriate way to safely regain their previous state. Though difficult at first, they were relieved to have a safe haven to fall back on, unsure of what Helena's reactions would be to certain situations. Vanessa proved to be right in that it did have its own set of issues that needed to be worked through.

"We didn't really finish that whole bottle of wine, did we?" Helena asked falling into bed.

"Um, pretty close. Since when did you turn into such a light weight?" Myka flopped down on her back.

"Since we've been on multiple medications and living in the same house with Pete. I would never do anything to jeopardize him. I sometimes feel guilty in having our own supply of alcohol."

"Oh, how much I have missed this bed." Myka burrowed herself deeper into the bed.

"I've missed being completely naked next to you in this bed." Helena rolled over to face what was left of Myka's face under the covers. "Please, don't look at me like that. I have no expectations. We have all the time in the world. I'm happy just like this. However," she reached out to pull the covers down hiding half of Myka's face. She leaned over to kiss her good night and happily received a greedy, heated response. Coming up for air, she smiled down at the slightly panting body. "God, I love the way you taste. It's like nothing else in this world." Helena placed her head on Myka's shoulder and hugged the long body against her. "Myka, I know you're not ready. I don't know that I am. I've enjoyed tonight getting used to being back home."

"Then why am I tingling all over?" Myka asked breathless.

"The same reason I am. We're both horny as hell and not ready to do anything about it." Helena laughed into Myka's neck. "I'm following Abigail's advice. Take our time. Just getting into a routine over here is a big adjustment. Do you want me to go sleep in the office?" Helena asked sadly, but with all seriousness.

Myka pinned Helena's left leg down under her own possessively. "And miss sleeping naked next to you? Don't you dare. Now shove that face of yours back into my neck so I can struggle to fall asleep." She giggled. "Horny as hell. I don't even want to know who you picked that one up from."

Myka's eyes flew open just in time as the arm landed heavily on her chest. She turned her head to find Helena flat on her back, right hand crooked up under the chin and left arm now flat across her chest. As usual, she'd pushed the covers away down to her waist. Miraculously, her leg remained pinned under her own. She gently pushed the arm off only to have it return with another thud. Giving up, she took the compromised hand in her own, examining it closely. Helena had yet to make a fist. As was her fascination, she explored the hand, examining the fading surgical scars in the dim light radiating from the bathroom, tracing every digit, and softly caressing the top, occasionally feeling a pin here and there just under the surface. For the amount of fuss she put up over the numbness of her collarbone, she never mentioned anything about the hand. She lightly kissed each finger, tracing them with her tongue. The bones were set perfectly as far as they knew, but there had been considerable nerve and tendon damage. She couldn't imagine Helena not being able to use her hand in the delicate work of her inventions as she had before. Handing over the plans to Claudia this evening had to have been a painful act, knowing she may never be able to assemble the final product.

Helena shifted onto her side, scratching her nose with her right hand, and claiming the rest of Myka's leg between her own, leaving Myka the left hand. "I'm sorry. Did I hit you in the head again?" she asked sleepily, eyes closed.

Myka chuckled. "Uh, no. Think a little lower. It was a soft landing. We never had this problem in the full size bed. You really are a bed hog."

"Must be enjoying the space and lost myself. And the answer to your thoughts is, no, I do not have complete sensation in that hand. However, I do perceive it at the tips of my fingers and they tell me that is a good thing." Helena opened her eyes fighting the tears she refused to shed anymore. "It was a bittersweet moment of pride to hand over those schematics. I would love nothing more than to help her make that grappler. However, I must accept, at least for now, I can only be a source of reference for her. She will finish it. I worked too hard completing and transferring the design over the past few days. Perhaps that is how it is meant to be."

"So, that's what you locked yourself away doing." Myka reached up to brush the loose strands of hair out of Helena's face. Her hand continued a path down her neck and to her collarbone, tracing the incision site as well. "I know," she commented at the sudden sadness on Helena's face. "But I won't ignore it. It is a part of you now and I love you. All of you. I'm too thankful to have you warming my bed to care. Like I said, it's a minor detail. I seem to remember that there are many other things that catch my interest to the same effect. Maybe I need to remind you."

Without waiting for an answer she pushed Helena on her back. Starting a trail of wet kisses at the incision site, she worked her way to each breast. "I believe Abigail stressed the word slow. I can do slow." Myka lifted her head with a smirk on her face, looking into the quickly darkening, hooded eyes. "The question is, can you?" She continued her path not waiting for an answer nor giving Helena a choice in the matter. It was time to get back to living again. Helena agreed.

* * *

Pete came into the kitchen whistling, grabbing the milk and cereal. Sitting down at the table he looked across at Abigail. "Wow, you look like crap. Didn't sleep much?"

"What was your first guess, Pete?" she growled.

"Oh, I'd say it was the dark circles around the eyes and that cranky kind of face Claudia gets when she stays up all night. Didn't take the ear plugs, did you?"

Claudia came in pouring a cup of coffee. Seeing Abigail grumbling at Pete, she poured another one and shoved it across the table towards her. "Huh. Didn't take the ear plugs, did you? We tried to warn you."

Steve hopped in shortly behind, grabbing a banana. He looked around the table noting the silence. "We tried to tell you." He started the water for his tea. "Who's telling Artie they'll be late?" Both Pete and Claudia suddenly found their breakfast interesting. "Yeah, you're right. That is such a new guy thing." They all stared at Abigail.

"Is it always like that?" Abigail whined.

The three team members looked at each other and laughed. "You ain't heard nothing yet!"

* * *

"How was your morning?" Myka asked, dragging Helena up the stairs, having gotten rid of her shirt. They'd stopped midway as Myka kissed her deeply.

"Not nearly as interesting as the afternoon looks." Helena's hand was making quick work of releasing the belt's tension from around the waist in front of her.

They'd stopped their progression at the top of the staircase as Myka assisted Helena's one-handed attempt at removing her pants.

Myka smiled against Helena's lips. "What makes you say that?"

Myka leaned down to bite into the soft flesh of the pale shoulder. The woman in her arms groaned as teeth made a claim of the newly reacquainted body.

"Merely by the fact that my shirt is now somewhere on the staircase." Myka's tee shirt took an unexpected flight across the bed before nails dug into her shoulder leaving tracks behind as they dragged down her back.

"Is that all?" Myka turned the still too thin frame around, backing it into the bed.

"And the fact that, oof, I'm now lying naked on the bed beneath you." Slender hands dug deep into wayward curls to bring the inviting mouth down for a repeat exploration of the morning.

"I thought we established long ago you were the agent under me." Myka retreated from the warmth, raising her upper body to look into the deep brown ones smiling up at her as she thrust her hips into the welcoming space below.

"Not today. You were over-ruled." Helena flipped her over with a well practiced maneuver.

"I've always liked that move." Myka laughed, wrapping her legs around her lover.

"Of course you do. I learned it from you. You really should have mentioned that earlier. I'd have used it more often."

Helena straddled herself firmly around Myka, lips aimlessly exploring her neck and shoulders, leaving behind a wet trail.

"No, you wouldn't. You're quite happy groveling under me, but I promise not to tell anyone." Myka stopped Helena to bring her face back close to her own, taking time to caress the soft curves above her repeatedly and pushing back the long dark hair enveloping them.

"Indeed, I am." Helena started to lean down for another kiss before she was interrupted by a sound from the floor. "Please, do not tell me that's your phone, and so help me if you answer it……"

"No worries. No plans." Myka tried to bring Helena back. "Helena, that's your phone, now."

"I don't hear it." Once again they made a third attempt. "Damn it!" Helena reached for the Farnsworth by the side of the bed throwing her body back against the headboard at the same time.

"Yes, Artie!" Helena snapped at the face staring back at her, brushing her hair back behind her ear.

"Am I interrupting something?" The face inquired, raising his bushy eyebrows.

"You know very well you are, as you have tried both of our phones and neither of us has answered. What do you want?" Helena demanded perturbed.

"Maybe a sheet for starters." He looked away.

Helena looked down at herself in full view, smirking. "Oh, really, Artie. Like you've never seen a naked woman before……"

Myka yanked the Farnsworth out from her hands, glaring at her, already having retrieved her tee shirt from the floor. "What do you want, Artie?" she asked irritated.

"Ah, finally, someone with a sense of decorum. We have a ping. I need you to pack your bag and meet Pete in ten minutes. You're heading to Iowa."

"Can't Steve or Claudia go?" Myka begged, already uncomfortable with not having finished what they had started.

"No, I need you. You said you were ready. Ten minutes."

Helena snatched the Farnsworth back. "She'll be there in twenty." Slamming the device shut, Helena threw it to the side and pulled Myka's tee shirt back off, pushing her back down on the bed. "He'll expect thirty. So let's make the most of it, shall we?"

* * *

Vanessa sat at her desk contemplating the reaction she was about to get. She had dreaded this moment all day. She had the radiographs already pulled up for display on the screen and was in fact very pleased with the results. It was the anticipated reaction that had her concerned. She really wished Myka had not been sent out, but it had been an artifact they had searched for years earlier. Artie was going to pay the price for sending her out. In all fairness, it was due to Helena's limited capacities during her recovery that was responsible for its discovery. She would fixate on one particular item and research it endlessly, much to Myka's concern, having to be coerced home.

With a deep breath and a heavy sigh she turned the screen towards Helena. "These are the latest x-rays. I'm really pleased with the progress of your hand, despite your present lack of mobility. If this had been a simple fracture the prognosis would be clearer, but we are dealing with nerves and tendons as well. We really don't know, Helena, if you will regain full use of the hand. There is a hand specialist in Atlanta, my friend I've been sharing your history with. He may know some alternative approaches at this point. Things he hasn't even shared with the community. We can schedule any further imaging he'll want. Otherwise, it's now all about the physical therapy and that is painfully slow."

Helena looked above the doctor's head, examining the books in the shelves. She refrained from counting them this time, but instead concentrated on the pure stability of the sturdy bindings, standing straight on the shelves. One push and the whole would tumble. A simple trick of physics.

Helena reacted little to any of the news. This concerned Vanessa more than any of the multiple outbursts she'd ever received from the woman in the past. How she wished Myka was here.

"Helena, I know it is not going as well as we hoped. Don't lose hope just yet. Sometimes it just takes longer than we anticipate. It can take up to a year or more. I don't think seeing this particular specialist should be ruled out. He's very good. I can easily arrange a consultation."

Helena remained silent.

"How are things going with Abigail? It sounds like you're having quite the roller coaster ride."

"As I've actually never been on a roller coaster, I can't actually use that as a reference. I don't have any plans on blowing up the world, if that's what you're asking."

"Well, that's good to hear, but not what I was asking. I'm not worried about that. How are things with Myka?"

"I believe an appropriate word would be turbulent."

"You've moved out of the main house. That must be somewhat comforting being back in your own place and away from the chaos. I know you have yet to regain any sensation at your incision site. How are you handling that?"

"Is this conversation really necessary? It is my understanding that you do communicate regularly with Abigail."

"Yes, we do, but we do not discuss details. She is a resource for you all, not a spy. What is said between the two of you goes no further unless specifically requested by you. And even then, I know her well enough to know she will minimize her information. I'm asking because I care. I know intimacy was a concern. You have a very tactile relationship. I think I've mentioned it before, but you rarely pass each other without touching and you don't realize it. I don't want to see you lose that. It's part of who you are with each other."

Helena dropped her eyes from the books and stated to the doctor deadpanned, "If you are asking if we are sexually active, the answer is undoubtedly, yes. If you ask if it has been an adjustment, the answer is, yes, as well. I also know that you are well aware that that particular area has always been an extremely sensitive erogenous zone for me. Does it present some grief for me? Yes, but I will adjust, and as you have said before, it is most likely not permanent and is a small matter compared to the rest of our issues."

"Okay, I guess you've summed that up. What about flashbacks?"

"There have been occasions. Thankfully, Myka is quick to respond and has managed to remain fairly bruise free. We're working with Abigail."

"Then you know they may never go away. They'll probably end up in the same category as your nightmares, for both of you."

"Will I ever be able to do field work again?" Helena suddenly asked, looking her dead in her eyes.

"I don't have the answer to that. I'm sorry." Vanessa looked at her sadly. "I'm not even sure Myka can."

Helena's eyes widened as she started to panic. She stood up, leaning across the desk. "She's out there right now!"

"It's okay, Helena. It's an easy grab. Artie made sure of it." Helena settled some, but was still aggravated.

"They're testing her, aren't they?" Helena accused her, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Not any differently than a new recruit. It's more of a warm up. She's been through a lot too and it leaves scars."

"But a test, none the less," Helena said sadly. "They're not convinced she's dependable."

"I didn't say that. Helena, are you hungry?"

* * *

Claudia barely turned her head at the sound of the umbilicus door opening. "Hey, HG. How was your appointment?"

"Revealing. When Myka arrives would you please tell her I'll be waiting in the library for her?"

"Uh, sure..." Claudia spoke to the closing door. "Anything you want. Didn't know she was on her way. Good to know." She continued to stare at the door. "Funny how a door never has anything to say back."

An hour later Pete and Myka returned, talking animatedly about their mission.

"Here you are, Claudia. Snagged, bagged and ready to be tagged." Pete handed the bag over.

Claudia reached for the bag. "Fun trip?"

Pete glowed. "The 'A' team is back."

"So I can see, Sparky. Hey, Myka, HG is in the library waiting for you."

At Myka's perplexed face Claudia shrugged. "Got me. The door didn't really have much to say to me."

"Okay." Myka walked off into the warehouse, taking the stairs two at a time.

"Ooooo, what camera is that, Claudia?" Pete started to push his way in beside her.

"Go away, Pete. I already turned it off, and don't tell Artie. He made cookies, by the way, and you need a shower."

"Ooo. Cookies. See ya later, Claud."

* * *

Myka pushed the door open slowly. "Helena?"

She was lying back on the sofa with her eyes closed. She opened them as Myka came closer, and sat up. "Hello, darling. How was the mission?"

"It was good. Yeah, really good. How was the appointment with Dr. Calder? We tried to get back in time for it. I'm sorry."

"I'm a big girl. I was perfectly fine without you. She is happy with my progress, for now. This," she lifted her hand, "however, remains the unanswered question. She has recommended a specialist in Atlanta. She can arrange for him to come out here for a consult. The bones are as they should be, but as we all know, I have yet been able to make a fist and make slow progress. It may just be a matter of time and continued PT. Regardless, it will be many more months."

Helena patted the seat. "Come. Sit behind me? I've missed you and Claudia has been an incessant mother hen, as usual. I had to kick her out of the cottage last night." Myka adjusted herself against the arm of the sofa, deciding to lay down instead of spooning Helena.

"What is so funny?" Myka asked as Helena started to chuckle.

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking of the many vigorous reunions this sofa has seen us through."

"Leave it to you. I don't even want to know how many times Claudia has zapped camera 28." Myka started to laugh with her.

Helena sobered. "Vanessa and I had an interesting conversation. We had lunch together and I met with Abigail when I got back. There are some things I'd like to talk about."

 


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

Pete was the last to enter the living room, bounding in to jump into the last remaining chair. "What's up with the family meeting? Kind of sudden, isn't it? You guys finally getting married or something?"

He looked around him, finally noticing the sober faces and the dead silence of the room.

"Wait a minute, what's going on? Did someone die? Seriously, guys. What's going on? Myka?" He could see her fighting the tears.

 Myka turned her face away to look at Helena who leaned against the back of the wall, hands in her pockets, staring at the fraying on the edge of the carpet at her feet. Helena turned her head back to see the escaping tear and distress on her partner's face.

"Shall I, darling?" she inquired softly. At Myka's nod, she cleared her throat lifting her head to look at the faces she had become so fond of, looking at each of them in turn around the room. The room they had all spent so much time together in their free time, creating the family that existed now.

"All right, then. No point in mucking about." She took a deep breath releasing it slowly. "This isn't an easy announcement for either of us. SO, um, after a great deal of discussion, and I do mean a great deal, Myka and I have decided that it is time we sought out another life outside of the warehouse." She once again bent her head to resume her analysis of the carpet in the silence that hung above them before the expected chaos ensued from the people around them.

Allowing their family time to express themselves, Myka grasped Helena's right hand from her pocket, holding it tightly in her own. The cacophony stopped, replaced by one quiet, unexpected voice.

"You can't leave. You belong here. We're family. This is your home and it always will be." Artie took off his glasses, wiping his eyes before replacing them.

Myka backed up to lean against the wall Helena had not moved from and slid down to the floor wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Artie, everyone, this wasn't an easy decision. Please don't think it was. We've struggled with this in some form or another for months. We have enough nightmares to deal with already, not just Helena's, but mine too. We need to heal somewhere that's not here. We wouldn't have made it this far without you. You are still our family and you all have been nothing but caring. We're not leaving you. It's just time for us to move forward beyond the warehouse."

"Where are you going to go?" Claudia choked out.

"We are not sure, actually. That's part of what we need to figure out. For now, the Regents are temporarily placing us in Atlanta, under Vanessa's supervision, as this," Helena held up her left hand, "still requires continued physical therapy. There is also a possibility that one of the hand specialists there may have some alternatives. I'd like to think that I can regain more function than I have. I'm not ready to accept not being able to make a simple fist let alone all absence of any fine motor control just yet. I rather enjoyed being ambidextrous." She smiled at her ever on-going brag. Myka dropped her forehead into her hand shaking her head at the expression on Pete's face. "We'll be able to continue therapy there as well, per Abigail's wise recommendation. We have many lingering ghosts in our midst." The newest member sadly smiled encouragement from the back. "From there we have yet to decide where to settle. Some traveling may be in order and we can figure it out from there." Again the two women were greeted with silence. Helena smiled. "Expect lots of postcards."

"We'd rather have you here," Pete responded, "But I can understand needing to get away from here." He suddenly jumped up pulling Myka up off the floor and grasping them both into his arms, mumbling between both heads. "I'm going to really miss you. Both of you. Come home once in a while when you're ready. And don't forget to call. I expect you for birthdays, and holidays. Especially holidays. Christmas will be here with everyone, somehow. I don't care what it takes."

Steve cleared his throat behind Pete starting a chain of dominoes falling into hugs ending in a pile at the end for the first group hug the team had ever had. Steve stepped back first, shaking his head clear.

"So, when are you leaving? What are you going to do?" He wiped his few tears away.

Like Steve, Helena pushed herself away, distancing herself away from the group, hands in her pockets again, rocking on her feet. "Well," she sighed, "as with all things involving the Regents, rather soon. We informed them of our decision last week. This was the soonest we were able to get everyone all together. That curiosity in Buffalo threw a wrench into the plan. Imagine that. The plan is to be packed up by the end of the week. So, five days."

"Five days?!" Claudia exclaimed, eyes wide.

"We don't have much to pack and they are sending help. Helena's not allowed to do any heavy lifting yet and we didn't want to drag this out. It's hard enough already. So, let's not make a big deal out of it."

"You mean I don't have to lug around boxes of books again?" Pete tried to chuckle, failing miserably.

"No, Pete, you don't. We thought we'd spare you that job this time." Myka gave him a soft punch just to be wrapped in a one-armed hold refusing to let her loose.

"And this new life will be what?" Artie asked. "I can't imagine you doing anything else. You're a part of this place. You're meant to be here."

"Primarily, healing. The Regents, as offered, will create a history for Helena, and alter some more interesting facts for me. Not sure what we'll actually do. We've played with the idea of a book store, name as yet to be decided. Seems like a logical idea, but we aren't completely sold on it yet."

"Wells and Bering," Helena interrupted.

Pete laughed. "I think Bering and Wells will win."

"Sounds stupid to me," Claudia grumbled.

An awkward silence settled on the group.

"Fajita dinner for your last night?" Steve announced grinning broadly. He noticed Claudia sitting in the corner quietly. "Let's plan the evenings, Claudia. Game night, Doctor Who night, bar-b-que... What do you think, Claud?"

"Yeah, whatever. I need to get back to the warehouse. I have a program to check on." She stood up slowly and turned towards the door exiting without a word.

"Steve?" Myka pleaded.

"Give her time. She's losing a big part of her life. Someone is leaving her again."

Myka stared at the ceiling. Helena sandwiched her between herself and Pete. "I know," she whispered. "This is so hard."

* * *

Myka lost the bet. She had guessed 2 a.m., counting on the curse. Helena said midnight. The clock on the bedside table read 11:45. Rolling over, out of Myka's arms, she smiled. "I win. You get laundry duty for the next four weeks."

Myka mumbled getting out of bed. "Fine. It was a no win bet anyway. You're not allowed to do it, so it doesn't really count. And don't think I didn't remember that when you made the bet. Where are you hiding the brandy now?"

Helena dragged herself out of bed. "I'll make the magic milk, you get the door. Here," she rummaged through the drawer of her dresser throwing a pair of socks at her. "You know she'll have cold, bare feet and I am not sleeping with that. Mine get cold enough as it is, especially when I can't bury them under your legs."

"The middle?" Myka looked strangely at Helena at the implication, trotting down the stairs. Claudia had grown out of the security due to previous manipulations on their part and had moved to the office futon.

Helena opened the refrigerator door, another knock coming from the door. "I do believe it is required in these situations and I am fairly certain it will not be the last over the next few days. That would be why I am dressed for bed, darling." Grabbing a pan she poured the milk.

"I wondered about that." Myka turned to the door opening it up to discover their long lost bed bug standing miserably in cold, bare feet on their door step. "Helena already has the magic milk warming. Let's get those feet warm." She gently pulled the redhead through the door and pushed her down on the sofa. Myka kneeled if front of her grabbing one foot and started to rub it to get the circulation started. "When are you going to remember to wear at least your slippers, Claudia?"

"It doesn't really matter now, does it?" She mumbled, dropping her head on Myka's shoulder crying. Myka dropped the cold foot and wrapped her arms around the young woman, letting her unleash what was sure to be the first of many tears over the next few days. They knew she would take their departure the hardest, but were unprepared about how to respond to it, despite Abigail's counsel.

Helena sat down beside Claudia on the sofa, leaning back and rubbing the tee shirted back. She smiled recognizing it as one Myka had brought back from a mission last year. She had placed the tray of three cups of warm cognac infused milk on the table and what was left of the bottle of ibuprofen for the headache Claudia was sure to have. Their own tear induced headaches had nearly emptied the bottle. Helena picked up a cup and gave it to Claudia as the tears dried followed by the ibuprofen.

Having no words to say, they sat in the warm glow of the light from the kitchen. Myka and Helena drank the milk in silence while Claudia fidgeted, having sucked hers down in two gulps.

"Do you really have to leave? What if you just take a long vacation or something?"

"Yes, Claudia, we really do," Myka said, holding her own tears back. "You've had your own difficulties coming out of those events. Leaving isn't going to cure our troubles, but it gives us space to manage them. I won't let Helena repeat history, nor do I wish to travel down a similar path. We cannot find our peace here. At least not now."

"So, maybe you'll come back?" Claudia perked up hopeful at the last words.

Helena placed her hand on the shoulder beside her and then her chin. "We can't make promises, Claudia. You know that. We've considered many new options available to us that we did not consider viable here."

"Like what?" She tilted her head to one side, looking at HG oddly, confused.

"Well, I do think it was a suggestion of yours actually. Children for one."

"Really?"

"It's been a passing thought. There are still," she looked at Myka. "There are still many ghosts to contend with, for both of us first."

Myka stood up pulling Helena up off the sofa. "Come on. We have plenty of time to talk. Let's get some sleep."

"I can stay?" Claudia stood following them blindly up the stairs.

"You can even have the middle," Helena added reluctantly. "As long as you warm up those feet first!"

"I've got the socks on." Claudia jumped into the middle taking one of Helena's pillows. Myka prevented any forthcoming war by throwing a pillow from the closet at Claudia.

"Give her the pillow back. I'm the only one with that privilege."

"Man, you really are married." Helena glared at her. "Okay, I know, not married. Maybe you'll reconsider that on your travels."

Helena mumbled into her newly reclaimed pillow, "Highly doubtful. We are well set on that decision."

"What is it with you two and marriage?"

"A piece of paper does not define our relationship or our commitment to each other. I think it would be obvious after all we've been through to find each other that it just is not necessary and would be almost superfluous." Helena complained. "Why does no one seem to understand that?"

"Yeah, but……"

"Just drop it, Claudia and try not to elbow me this time." Myka complained burying herself under the covers, already regretting agreeing to not being in the middle. "Helena?" she asked. Without a word she had a pillow tossed over to her, returning one of her own.

Claudia sat up, looking down at one woman to the other and shook her head. "Seriously?"

"Shut up, Claudia and go to sleep, and no I will not tell a story tonight. I'm much too tired." Helena buried her face into the scent of Myka's pillow, quickly falling asleep after the emotional evening.

* * *

They'd been sitting in quiet comfort drinking wine in front of the dying fire, Helena spread on the sofa leaning against Myka. Helena was close to dozing off when they heard the anxious knock on the door. Helena quickly roused herself, turning to look at Myka. "I'm not sure I'll ever get used to people knocking on my door."

"The door is unlocked, Claudia." Helena sat up to get a glass of wine for their new guest. She sometimes regretted introducing her to it in Tenerife, but at least she was going to have good taste.

"I need to ask you guys something," Claudia started cautiously. "'Cause I think I've got the whole freak thing figured out, or at least some of it."

"What?" Myka exclaimed. "I thought we settled that. Everyone just needs to leave it alone."

"No really, Myka, this is important."

Helena smiled looking over at Claudia from the kitchen. Returning with the glass, she flopped back on the sofa and filled the glass handing it over before filling both Myka's and her own. "Come on, Myka. It's obviously important to her. Let her speak."

Myka sighed as Helena resumed her former position. "Fine. What do you want to ask?"

Claudia took a big breath and dove in with her theory. "Okay. When was the first time you really knew you had the freak?" Myka glared at her "Okay, this weird thing you don't talk about."

Helena frowned, turning around to look at Myka. "I don't really know. Myka?"

She laughed. "You've got to be kidding me, right?"

Helena rested a hand on Myka's thigh. "Myka, stop. Take this seriously. Think."

"I don't know that I ever really thought about it. Like I've been trying to tell everyone, it just is."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that. You said you always felt some sort of connection. I get that. But when did you first REALLY feel it?"

Helena looked at the floor still frowning in thought. Myka sat staring at Claudia with her head cocked to one side.

"Arrgh, think you guys."

"Why is this so important, Claudia?" Myka asked, curious now.

"I don't know, it just is. So, think. In London?"

Helena smiled. "Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something then."

Myka smacked her head. "That was your hormones."

"OW! No, really, Myka. I did. My hormones, as you put it, oddly enough, never had time to be an issue. I was too busy dodging Pete's tongue and getting out of your bloody handcuffs. I felt some connection to you that I couldn't understand the minute I saw your eyes. Why do you think I couldn't resist touching you? It wasn't hormones. It was some underlying...need. I've told you this."

"I don't know. I figured you were playing me like you were, Pete. All I remember was hanging from your stupid ceiling."

"Ah, and now you get to stare up at it instead." Helena smirked at her, getting smacked again. "OW! Stop hitting me. I'm not Pete."

"Stop being rude."

She grunted back. "If you really enjoyed hanging from my ceiling, I can certainly provide one. It may come in handy sometime. I can think of a several things that could provide a number of hours..."

"Guys, can we stay on the topic here?" Claudia interrupted.

"Sorry, darling. So, my answer is, yes, I felt something, but I wouldn't say I felt the big 'it' that you seem to be referring to. And, apparently, Myka was too busy hanging around...OW! Myka..." Helena turned back to Myka, still smiling. "So, when did you feel something?"

"I guess when you pulled me into the air."

"Ah, the old grappler trick. Never fails to impress a girl." She held her hand up quickly. "Don't hit me."

"Does this have to do with hanging around from high places, Claud?"

"NO. Come on, I'm being serious here."

Myka smiled, swallowing her laughter. "Okay, fine. Being serious now. Yes, that would be when I felt something. I always had a sense of her after that. I just never said anything because Artie was so angry and adamant about his feelings, and really I just didn't understand it, so I ignored it. But, like Helena said, I wouldn't say it was the big 'it'."

"Okay, let's think big events," Claudia pushed. "When she got reinstated?" Both women shook their heads. "Egypt? Yellowstone? Janus coin? Limbo world?" Still they shook their heads. "Anything? Come on, think!"

"Claudia, honestly I think it just grew with time," Helena said.

"But when you came back after your astrolabe days, and beyond, Myka was the only one not surprised to see you, right? I saw it on your face when you came through the door." Claudia looked at Myka. "You were expecting her, Myka, aren't I right?"

"Is that true, Myka?" Helena asked turning around to look at her.

"Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, I knew you were in the warehouse. That's why I came up to the office." Myka squinted at her. "I thought you knew that? You turned around before I opened the door. I watched you turn you through the glass. You knew I was there."

"Indeed, I did." Helena turned to Claudia. "What do you know that you are not saying?"

"I don't think you'll believe me."

"Claud, it's the warehouse," Myka reminded her.

"It has to do with Artie and the astrolabe." She cringed expecting something, but not sure what. Not hearing anything, she turned to the two women on the sofa staring blankly at her. She sucked down half the wine in her glass before continuing.

"Okay. The warehouse told me. It remembers everything. HG, you were meant to be here. Warehouse 12 always intended you to be here. It was your conduit, sort of. You are a part of the warehouse in a way no one else is. You belong here and you always have. Always will."

"Claudia, what are you talking about?" Helena asked, mystified.

"I don't know if I really understand it all myself. You always said you never felt like you belonged in your former life, that you belonged in this century. Well, it's true. You're supposed to be here." Claudia finished her wine in response to the two mute faces staring at her. "HG, when you gave the astrolabe back to the brotherhood, what did they say to you?"

"What? I don't remember. Something cryptic, I'm sure. It's the brotherhood."

"They said something to you? You never told me this." Myka turned her out of her arms to look her in the eyes.

Helena averted her own eyes and shrugged. "I never gave it much thought, darling. It's the brotherhood. I don't remember."

"Yes, you do," Claudia pushed.

"Oh fine, it was something like 'Your destiny has been fulfilled..."

"And your future sealed,"' Claudia finished.

"How do you know that?" Helena sat up whispering in surprise.

"I told you, the warehouse told me." Claudia finished pouring the wine between the three glasses. "Um, you might want to open another bottle."

"What does this have to do with Artie and the astrolabe, and what does it have to do with us?" Helena swung her legs around to the floor.

"You don't remember because it didn't happen to you. Well, it did, but it didn't. Anyway, it happened to the warehouse and Artie. Artie set it back, but the warehouse remembers everything. You sacrificed yourself for Myka. You were connected to her. It wasn't just the three of them. You were supposed to be there, for that moment to save them. To save Myka. That was your destiny. Artie sealed your future, and the bond, when he used the astrolabe and set everything back. Only Artie and the warehouse remember. The bond was always there because it originated in Warehouse 12. HG, it came from you, or rather it came with you, or……I don't know. This is where it really starts to get confusing to me. You two have always been meant to be together. Think about it now. When did you really become aware of the bond?"

"When Sykes died," the two said simultaneously. They both turned to look at each other.

"How does Myka fit into this? I mean besides the obvious," Helena asked suddenly. "Does this mean I'm done? I have no purpose as far as the warehouse is concerned?"

"I'm not really clear on that yet. I think that part hasn't happened yet. She doesn't always tell me everything at once. Maybe your future is just as important as your destiny. All I know is that both of you are part of the warehouse and vise versa. Always have been."

"She?"

"Well, yeah. You didn't think a 'he' would be that insightful, did you?" Claudia got up going to the kitchen for another bottle of wine. She held one up. "Hey, HG, isn't this one of the good ones?"

Helena turned around slowly, casually looking at the bottle in Claudia's hand. "They all are, but yes, please open it." She drained what was left in her own glass, Myka following her example.

"What else do you know?" Myka asked suspiciously.

"Uh, yeah. Well, it has to do with our threesome freak thing."

Helena raised her eyebrows "Threesome? I think you may be confused, Claudia." She laughed holding her glass over to be filled.

"Huh? Whatever." Claudia reached over to fill Myka's glass. "What I mean is the reason the three of us have this revolving thing that we don't have with the guys. I used to think it had to do with the whole girlie thing, but let's face it, we aren't really girlie, and I'm super cool with that. HG, you knew I'd know when to give Myka the key to the panel in the office. We have our own revolving connection, individually and as a whole. All three of us are part of the warehouse in a way that the guys aren't. Yeah, they belong here, but it's not the same. They are not actually a part of the warehouse itself. We've always connected on a different level."

"How do you know that? Did the warehouse tell you that too?"

"Uh, well, not really. I know when you were deciding to leave. You knew, but you weren't convinced yet."

"How? Were you camera peeping?" Myka accused her.

"No, actually the opposite. Helena knew you were coming back from that mission...big surprise...and told me to tell you she was in the library. I figured you'd be, uh, roaming the stacks, should I say, as you've been known to do, so I turned the camera off. When you left hours later, again I assumed you were otherwise occupied, I kind of, uh, smelled apples. The warehouse approved. You smelled apples when you made your final decision, too, didn't you? That's how you knew it was the right decision."

"Holy shit, Claudia." Myka stared at her.

"I didn't actually know at the time, but I knew something happened. And since I'm pretty sure neither of you are pregnant. Sorry, it's the only other thing I could think of that would cause its……Wait a minute…you're not….."

"No, Claudia, we are not," Helena assured her.

"Oh, good.I mean. I just put it all together when you told us. Like I said, she doesn't tell me everything."

"You know more, don't you, Claudia?"

"Maybe?"

"The brotherhood. You know our future, don't you?"

"Sort of, but not really. What I mean is yes, and I can't tell you, and it's not very specific. It has to play out on its own. Kind of like you guys actually getting here. The warehouse was waiting for you, but you had to do it on your own."

"That would make sense. Besides, what would be the fun in knowing?" Helena smiled at Myka.

"Claudia, if we belong here, as you say, does that mean we need to stay?"

"No. Otherwise you wouldn't have smelled the apples. You two need to leave. As much as we all don't want you to, and you don't want to, you know you need to. Warehouse won't tell me." She stared at the blank faced women, and drank more wine. "I know. It's a lot to process isn't it?"

"Anything else you need to tell us?" Myka asked.

"Uh, no. I think that's it. But it would be kind of fun to finish this wine and watch a movie. You two can get all cozy again. Doesn't bother me, and we know it doesn't bother HG."

Helena leaned back into Myka again. "Pick it out and go get some more wine. Just be aware you are likely to be kicked out if cozy leads to more."

* * *

"You will come back, right?"

"I don't know, Steve. There is no way for any of us to know."

"But kids? I don't really see that one."

"Why ever not? You think we'd make such horrible parents? It's not like I haven't done it before. I rather enjoyed it actually." Helena frowned.

"I think you'd make great parents, but do you think you can ever let her go? You and I both know you haven't, and Myka knows it too. Will you always be looking for Christina?"

Helena sighed looking into the sky. "Maybe you're right. We always seem to graze the topic but never stop to talk about it. I suspect our distance from here will clarify our true desires. We have many that require this distance to see more clearly." She smiled down at him briefly before staring out into the distance.

"Have you ever wondered about this thing you and I have?" Steve asked many minutes later, out of curiosity

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand your question." Helena rolled her neck around, stretching out the stiff muscles from the night.

"Yes, you do, and that's my point."

They sat in silence for some time observing the life energy around them.

"See what I mean?" he interrupted.

"Of all people, Steve, I find it interesting that you'd be the person to ask such a question. I always assumed it just was. It didn't really matter if there was a definition."

"But you're the author. I'd think you would always be questioning everything around you."

"Perhaps at one time in my life that was true, but I have grown a great deal since then. Do you honestly want to know my thoughts on the matter or are you asking because you think you should?"

He looked up at her from the ground pondering his own intentions.

"So I see. Alright then. I believe that we are all connected in some way and that connection varies from person to person. Almost as if they exist in different planes or dimensions. Some of us have a deeper connection to some than they do to others. Those are the most difficult to define and perhaps are never meant to be understood, but merely accepted and left as they are. I've never had a connection to anyone that runs as deeply as it does with Myka. It has its own life in a way. It is multifaceted and delves through many planes and apparently through time itself. I've never questioned the why or how of it. Not once. I just knew. Even before I was bronzed I knew there was something, someone that was missing, waiting to find me. I cannot put words to it because there are none adequate to give it definition. We will never have a bond with another as we do with each other. I knew the first time I looked into her eyes that we were connected."

"And you and me?"

"Ah, but you are impatient. I have not gotten to that part yet. Think of the connections you have with each individual. They all differ on different planes. I hardly expect that the energy that lies between you and Pete is anywhere similar to that of Claudia. It doesn't make it right or wrong but merely differs, yet you still have a strong connection to him. Am I correct?"

Steve nodded and squinted at her in thought.

"Now, Pete and I have a peculiar bond developed out of mistrust, anger and fear, and jealousy. Hardly what one would consider favorable. Yet we have established a much stronger understanding of each other that often requires no words now. Claudia is an interesting one. She has not only a connection to me as an individual but also to Myka and me as a unit as well. I've wondered about that on occasion. Claudia herself is as yet unsure of it, but her connection to the warehouse will make it known when the time comes. That's how she knew to give Myka that precious key that seems to intrigue everyone so." Helena laughed. "It's just a key. And Artie often remains the most fragile of all. He is the least trusting of it, yet his caring and protectiveness remains deep and solid."

Helena sighed looking up into the tree above, branches becoming bare of leaves, the blue sky penetrating their shadow. "I love this view. I know for a fact that Pete doesn't understand why. Myka understands. It is the same for her." She looked back down at Steve who was now looking up through the branches. "You, I suspect understand as well, yet we have no words adequate to explain to one another. It just is. We are something entirely different. It lies deep beneath as well. Again, I'm not sure that I've ever questioned it before. You represent so many different things to me. We belong in the unspoken category. Our connection lies within the silence. An understanding of the other in silence. We need no words. It's always been in silence that we meet."

"Does that answer your question?"

"I think so, but I already had the answer, didn't I?"

"Indeed, you did. That is why without ever asking the other we will sit in this garden in silence until we know it is time to leave." Helena smiled at the thoughtful face. Without a word they both stood up and moved to lean against the tree, sitting in silence.

* * *

They spent their last night in the main building after everything was packed and sent on its way. Despite the attempt to enjoy their last night together, dinner was quiet with little conversation. Fatigued from the last minute details, the planned movie was negated in exchange for an early night.

Myka and Helena had set themselves up in their old room. According to Claudia, it would always be 'their' room. Deep under the covers, Helena rested her head in Myka's lap listening with closed eyes as she read out loud when they heard the first knock.

"Bloody hell," Myka mumbled, much to Helena's amusement. "Here it comes."

"Really, darling, you need to work on that if you plan to use it. I am ever so glad you convinced me to wear night clothes. Please tell me I can do without them forever after this?"

"No promises, but as often as possible if I have anything to say about it."

The knock became more insistent. "The door is miraculously unlocked, Claudia," Helena called from Myka's lap.

Claudia stood at the door, hesitant to enter. Myka lifted the edge of the covers. "Hop in, but I get the middle."

"That's fine. I get kind of claustrophobic being trapped under your clasped hands all the time."

"Huh?" Myka gave her a funny look, completely clueless.

"Nothing. What are you reading?"

"What do you think?" Myka stared at her, eyebrows raised.

"Oh, good." She burrowed herself deep into the covers pulling a pillow down with her. "Are you going to read it at Christmas too?"

"Quite possibly," Helena muttered. "Now may we continue?"

Another knock on the door.

"The door's open, Steve."

"Hi. Oh, hey, Claud. You reading  _The Little Prince_?" At Myka's puzzled look, he nodded. "Maybe I should just go get Pete now?"

"Make sure he wears a shirt." Myka shivered at the thought. "And grab anyone else, 'cause this story is not stopping," she yelled at his retreating back putting the battered book down in her lap.

"That is my head you are using." She heard muffled from her lap. "Though this does present an opportune cover..." Myka quickly picked the book up to see a leer directed at her.

"Ewww," Claudia complained. "Haven't you traumatized me enough, old lady?"

"If you had only knocked!"

Four faces soon presented themselves at the door.

"Looks like the whole gang is here," Pete said, taking a sharp look over his shoulder.

"Pete, what are you doing?" Abigail asked sitting on the end of the bed leaning against the post under a blanket she'd brought with her.

"He's looking for me," Mrs. Frederic announced sitting in a chair in the corner, making Pete jump. "I believe everyone is settled, Myka. Please continue."

"Okay, this is the strangest story time I've ever had."

* * *

"So, I guess this is it. These are for you." She handed one box to Helena and one to Myka. "I didn't want to give it to you in front of Pete. You'll understand when you open it. Just, don't do it now." Claudia was left in the driveway with the two women. "You will come back, right? I mean when things get sorted."

"Claudia……" Myka warned from outside the driver's side door. "One more hug and we've got to go." Claudia reluctantly let go.

Helena had already gotten in the car, avoiding any more emotional conflict. She hadn't realized just how much this place, this family meant to her. Something else to come to terms with she thought, sighing. "You ready?" She jumped not realizing Myka was in the car and the car started.

"I don't think I ever will be," she sighed deeply. Feeling a sharp jab in her hip, she rolled the window down quickly. "Hold on, Claudia, I almost forgot. I have something for you." She dug into her front jeans pocket extracting something.

Claudia ran up to the car. "What?"

Helena handed her the object. "Take good care of it."

Claudia looked at the item in her hand, first shocked and then she smiled. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. It's in good hands."

Heading out down the driveway, Myka abruptly pulled over at the end, staring straight ahead at the road in front of them. "Open them," she said quietly.

"What?" Helena asked behind her tears.

Myka nodded at the boxes.

"This one has your name on it." Myka handed it over.

"I guess you should open this one." Helena gave her the one with both of their names on it.

Myka opened the box and smiled. Helena leaned over to see a framed photo of the two of them with Steve and Claudia at the top of Mount Teide. Helena had pulled strings to get to the top on the last day. It was the only day the weather cooperated. "I forgot about that." Myka shook her head.

"How could you possibly forget Tenerife? It stands out in my mind most vividly. I thought that was why we decided to make a return trip?" Helena looked at her smirking.

"No. I meant that hike on the last day. We weren't sure the weather would hold and I don't want to know what you did to get the permits. What did she give you? Why are you so special?"

"I don't know." Helena opened the box. Again a framed photo stared back at her, but this was a candid shot of Steve and her on one of their silent walks in a garden, also in Tenerife. This photo she had never seen.

"What does the note say?" Myka pointed to the sheet of paper in Claudia's scrawl.

_He has one too. You always did have something special after that trip. It just is. As Steve would say, "Keep the faith." I do._

"Helena, what did you give her?" Myka asked, putting the car back in drive.

"Oh, just a little key from the past."

* * *

Claudia walked into the cottage ignoring the empty sound of reverberations. Entering the former office, now devoid of books and masses of papers, she walked to the bookcase finding the clasp. The top panel opened. Inserting and turning the key, the bottom panel opened to reveal the small compartment she'd never set eyes on before, but represented so much. Inside was a golden rosewood chess piece. The queen. Myka's queen. Under it was a note:

_Claudia,_

_You are truly a queen and I look forward to your amazing future. Save this for our next game. Perhaps you'll even win. I anticipate a challenging match. Thank you for opening my eyes once again to a part of the past I lost and desperately needed. You are in yourself a great healer._

_Always,_

_your HG_

Claudia pocketed the key and the chess piece, leaving the cottage for the last time, locking the door behind her.

* * *

"It was their decision, Arthur." The silent still form in the one remaining chair of the cottage for once didn't jump out of the chair at the unannounced visit. He remained silent in the dimmed room. "One they both struggled with. I think the hardest part was neither wanted to leave thinking the other needed to stay."

"They belong here. We both know that. It's in their blood." Artie stared out the window as Mrs. Frederic came to stand in front of him, leaning against the wall holding the crumbling walls of his present existence up. "I don't understand. They've overcome so much. But to just leave. Especially HG. She doesn't even know a life outside of these walls unless an artifact is involved." He looked up at her face blank of expression.

"Their lives are each other's like none I've ever been blessed to witness. We owe it to them to let them find happiness outside of these walls. None of us can truly comprehend what they've gone through, especially HG."

"But we are their family. This," he motioned the space around him, "This is their home. It always will be."

Mrs. Frederic looked around the empty space, cold and dark without the presence of its former occupants. Only she could see the quiver of purple light left in the corners.

"Artie, have you ever read Phil Pullman's  _The Golden Compass_?" she asked folding her hands together in front of her, the light from the window casting a strange shadow around her.

"No, I can't say I ever have. Why do you ask?" He looked at her confounded she should ask such a question.

"You really should. It's somewhat disturbing, but those two are straight out of that book. One cannot live without the other. One is the body, the other is Daemon. Without each other they are empty. The child and the soul, Artie. That is my analogy of their connection. One that crosses time itself. To lose one would be to lose the other. We have no control over a force of such incredible power. Read the book, Artie. It's the closest any of us will ever come to understand, and perhaps that is best."

"Interesting how they are the only ones that do not question or think about it, but everyone else around them does. Perhaps we should learn from them and just accept it and trust in it as much as they do themselves. The two have been brought together for a reason. It's not for us to question what that reason is, but to merely accept it. They have always been an entity in themselves outside of us all and always will be."

Artie stood from the chair shuffling to the door. "Do you think they'll come back?" he asked, turning for one last look in the room noticing something in the shadows on the counter. He picked up the book, smiling wryly at what they had left.

Mrs. Frederic smiled, taking the book out of his hands. " _The Little Prince_. Why am I not surprised? I believe, Artie, the answer lies somewhere in this book." Opening the door, they left, closing the door behind them and leaving it, as always, unlocked.

* * *

"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."  
\- Winston Churchill -


End file.
